But how's the coffee?

Find me in NYC, Providence

2012-01-31T00:27:00.002-05:00

I am making two NYC appearances this week - the first at Iron Bell Academy in Queens, where I'm presenting a new workshop on Thursday, February 2nd entitledThat Ain't Necessarily So: Lies, Exaggerations and Silly Shit You Keep Hearing in the Scene.

On Friday the 3rd, I'm joining the first Friday Ravenous Nights readings at the Happy Endings Lounge on Manhattan's Lower East Side. The other readers will be Lolita Wolf, Angel Propps, Elizabeth Thorne, Sara Eileen, and my lovely wife, Karen Taylor. The theme is "leather," so expect some hot kinky stories.

And with luck, you may be able to pick up this new edition of The Academy, with a hot new cover by Lochai if you see me at Providence Rhode Island Fetish Fair Flea Market February 10-12. If you can't make it, keep your eyes out for the new edition to hit your e-book lists soon!

What's New in 2012

2012-01-02T21:06:00.002-05:00

The new year is bringing a new edition of The Academy, new anthologies, and new trips around the country. In other words, I'll be busy, Busy, BUSY!

For fans waiting on the new e-book edition of The Academy, complete with hot new cover by my friend and photographer Lochai, keep your eyes peeled over the next few weeks. The book has gone into final edits, and, as with all of my new Luster Imprint editions, I've added a new short story available in the e-book edition only. Continuing in my theme, "Life's a Party," the bonus story in The Academy will take place at a wild sex party. Here's an excerpt, featuring Trainer Marcy Teodor and her trainer-in-training, Stuart.

I'll be sticking close to home over the next few weeks while I review the stories that have been submitted to the various anthologies I plan to put together this year. The largest event I'll be attending during the winter is the Providence Rhode Island Fetish Fair Flea Market, a great shopping extravaganza for the kink-inclined. Otherwise, I'll be in the New York City area, so check my events calendar on the right for upcoming trips. And as always, if your group is interested in having me come and present, please check my details at "Hire Laura," and I'll be happy to get in touch with you.

Happy 2012!

A Christmas-Themed, Historical, Gay-Themed Story

2011-12-17T15:59:00.002-05:00

Recently, I was challenged to write outside my usual area of "contemporary smut."

I love taking on challenges like this - they help me stretch my writing muscles, and give me renewed creativity when returning to my main projects. Plus, I am a big fan of historical fiction, as anyone who has seen my bookshelves (heavily stacked with Clavell, Galebon, Jakes, McCullough,and others) can attest.

Given the season, I chose to set this story during the famous "Christmas Truce" of 1914:

On an icy Christmas morning on the Western Front, 1914, British and German soldiers huddled in trenches less than fifty yards apart, away from their homes and families, cold, weary and afraid. But Lt. Glbert Tillsdale and Captain Wilheim von Faulkner will spark more than a Christmas truce as they walk across no man's land to shake hands. They find passion, comfort and pleasure in each other and share a moment of peace that can only be called miraculous.Purchase the story here.

My serious Marketplace fans will recognize the family name of one of the characters above -- one that will return in a future Marketplace novel, as well.

Oh, and if you're looking for some last-minute holiday gifts, please check out my extensive selection of e-books, easily and quickly available for a spicy stocking stuffer!

Deadline Approaching for Hot Butches/Hot Femmes Anthologies!

2011-12-14T21:59:00.000-05:00

A few posts back, I announced my intention to start editing anthologies again. The deadline for my companion volumes of stories about Hot Butches/Hot Femmes is due at the end of 2011! Here's my reminder:

Hot Butches/Hot Femmes: Deadline – December 31, 2011

Two companion volumes, one goal – to celebrate the classic identities of butches and femmes, those who love to play with gender! Your story must feature at least one butch or femme (depending on the volume) matching the title description. They can be the point of view character, the protagonist or the lust object of the story. Don't dial back the sex – keep it hot and spicy! But these are celebratory books, so I am looking for happy endings. Kink/leather/BDSM themes welcome, but not required – the flavor here is gender and gender expression.

Submission Guidelines and additional info can be found on my Calls for Submissions Page.

Wondering what else I'm looking for?

Leatherwomen 2012 – Still Kicking: Deadline - January 31, 2012

Is leather dead? Hell no! But it has changed and so have leatherwomen. Celebrate the thrill of skins and kink and the hot women who embody the name leatherwoman in this new universe of kinky potential. Like the previous Leatherwomen anthologies, stories may contain characters of any physical, emotional and sexual identity you believe falls under the name leatherwoman. BDSM, latex, punk, heterosexual, queer, single, couples, poly, orgies – if you believe your story and your characters belong in this crew, then convince me. Extra points for non white/American/party-going/lifestyle characters and situations, and much love for pushing the boundaries of identity and politics. Make it romantic or ironic; sweet or scary. But fill it with power and presence and desire.

No Safewords – A Marketplace Collection: Deadline - February 28, 2012

Do you have what it takes to enter The Marketplace? For the first time since The Academy, I am opening the doors to my exclusive playroom, for this first collection of fan fiction! Yes, you can write a Marketplace story – and this is your chance to really push the limits! Use any character, any setting. Delve into the online Marketplace wiki to brush up on existing characters or create your own. Fit the story to what already exists or imagine a sort of alternative universe to myalternative universe. Do you think there should have been more gay/lesbian/straight/rubber/steampunk/food fetish/Canadian/sexy accountant stories in the books? Now is your chance to write one!

Submission Guidelines and additional details on all of the Calls for Submissions can be found on my Calls for Submissions Page.

Free Holiday Erotica Tale!

2011-12-02T22:08:00.000-05:00

On the first Fridays of the month, there's an erotic reading series at the Happy Endings Lounge in New York City that I sometimes attend. The December theme was - no surprise - holiday erotica!

What may be a surprise to some of you, however, is that I have actually written a short holiday erotica piece. In the spirit of giving, here's an excerpt from "Ho Fuckin' Ho:"

A long and tall drink of water poured into a latex elf costume. Spikey green boots that clung to shapely legs all the way to the thigh, same color boy-cut shorts, and a plunging vest, both trimmed in white fur. Jaunty Santa style hat in the same green, with pointy ear tips rising to each side of her head. I groped for her name… Stacey!

“Hi, Santa,” she purred, leaning over to adjust my sack. “I’ll be one of your elves tonight. I hope you have a special present for me!”

Now, I am an equal opportunity Daddy, I like boys and girls, naughty and nice. This fiasco was looking up already.

I struggled and won the fight to not say, “I got your present right here,” and grab my package. Instead, I went for the equally cheesy, “What’s a nice femme like you doing in a boy’s club?”

She leaned in closer and whispered, “Hoping to get gang banged in the back room, later. You’re invited, if you’re not busy, and your boy, too, if he’s been real good.” Click here for more...

If you're still looking for some gift ideas, don't forget Circlet Press is offering a special deal on the first three books in the Marketplace series. In addition, several of the romance sites where you can find my other fiction are offering holiday specials, so check out the links here, too!

Just in Time for the holidays!

2011-11-25T13:54:00.002-05:00

If you're like me, and prefer to do your holiday shopping on line, I have a great deal for you! My original trilogy is available through December 31st at a discount price fromCirclet Press.

Get The Marketplace, The Slave, and The Trainer, normally $19.95 each plus shipping, for only $55 including shipping within the US/Canada. This is a great way to introduce a friend to the series or to replace your lost/borrowed/stolen copies for yourself!

This limited time price is only offered until December 31, 2011. Please place orders by December 13 if you want the set in time for Hanukkah, by December 15 if you want them for Christmas.

And if you are buying electronic readers for yourself and special friends, why not fill them with some spicy erotic stories? In addition to the Marketplace trilogy, check out rotating carousel on the left side of my webpage, where you'll find an array of my smut. And nothing says "I know what you really like for the holidays" than that!

Winter Plans

2011-11-06T12:42:00.002-05:00

While I am taking most of winter off to write and edit anthologies, I have been doing some local readings and will have an upcoming appearance.

Last month, I read a story about Chris Parker that has not yet appeared in any Marketplace novel. It is in Tristan Taormino's Take Me There, a groundbreaking anthology of transgender and genderqueer erotica. For those who missed it, here's a video of the reading.

I am also a regular reader at the Ravenous Readings series which take place the first Friday of every month in New York City's Happy Endings Lounge on the Lower East Side. The theme in November was erotic non-fiction, so I contributed my piece on how to train a pleasure slave, which appears in another Tristan Taormino anthology, The Ultimate Guide to Kink, BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge.

I will be headed to New Jersey at the end of this month, teaching I'll be teaching "Beyond Bossy" and "Service Development" at Brimstone on the Jersey Shore.

And that's where you'll find me between now and the end of the year! I am booking dates in 2012, however, so please check out my speaking requirements or my tour calendar, posted on the right of the page.

Submit to Me!

2011-10-19T15:36:00.002-04:00

It's twenty years since I started to collect stories for the original Leatherwomen, and anthologies have refused to die. With the explosion of e-book publishers of erotica, there has never been a better time to get your stories out into the world – and after twenty years, I'm eager to collect all sorts of delicious smut. From sweet and romantic to edgy and kinky, show me what you've got!

Submission Guidelines and additional info can be found on my Calls for Submissions Page.

Here's a brief overview at what I'm looking for:

The Best of Leatherwomen: Deadline - Dec 31, 2011

Did you write for me back in the day? Find me, please! We'll make a combined collection from all three of the groundbreaking Leatherwomen anthologies and you can get paid again for work you so long ago we all rode dinosaurs to the play parties.

Leatherwomen 2012 – Still Kicking: Deadline - January 31, 2012

Hot Butches/Hot Femmes: Deadline – December 31, 2011

No Safewords – A Marketplace Collection: Deadline - February 28, 2012

Submission Guidelines and additional details on all of the Calls for Submissions can be found on my Calls for Submissions Page.

Calling All Leatherwomen!!

2011-10-13T21:36:00.002-04:00

I'm happy to announce that I'll be editing several anthologies over the winter and into 2012. In addition to some new projects (keep your eyes out for "Calls for Submission"), I am bringing back my "Leatherwomen" brand.

If you are a writer who was published in one of my original Leatherwomen anthologies, I am asking you to get in contact with me at Antoniouedits (at) gmail (dot) com as I build a "Best of Leatherwomen" collection!

(cue harp arpeggios, musically implying that we are traveling back in time)

Back in the pre-internet 1990's, there was a dearth of fiction available to kinky women written by kinky women. Pretty much all we had was the groundbreaking Coming To Power by Samois, the periodic s/m themed short stories in On Our Backs, and a few writers like Susie Bright, Artemis Oakgrove and a writer I consider my mentor, Dorothy Allison.

I decided to fill that void by editing a series written by and for Leatherwomen of all orientations. So, in the mid-1990's, I put out a call for submissions.

There was only one problem. Pat (now Patrick) Califia and Robin Sweeney were collaborating on"The Second Coming: A Leatherdyke Reader," billed to be the follow-up to the Samois anthology. Every kinky lesbian writer I knew had already promised their work to Pat and Robin.

I persisted, and not only published "Leatherwomen," but even got out "Leatherwomen II (Revenge of the Leatherwomen)" before The Second Coming was published. I then published "Leatherwomen III (Clash of the Cultures)" in the late 1990's.

Now, a decade later, I think it's time to bring back the Leatherwomen brand. So much has changed in the kink community since Leatherwomen III was published, ranging from the rise of sex through social media to the increasing fluidity of gender and sexual identity. I think it's time to hear from leatherwomen again.

To launch the return of the "Leatherwomen" series, I am calling all contributors to the earlier anthologies to get in touch with me. Let's bring back those sexy, smutty, kinky, toe-curling stories and introduce them to a new generation of readers. Contact me atAntoniouedits (at) gmail (dot) com.

And for the rest of you: keep your eyes open for additional "Calls for Submission" from me!

New Chris Parker story!

2011-10-05T21:14:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday, October 12th, I'll be reading The Man With the Phoenix Tattoo, the first-ever story about Chris Parker that is not in a Marketplace novel. The reading will be at 7:00 p.m. at Bluestockings, 172 Allen Street on New York City's Lower East Side.

The story is part of a new anthology entitled Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica. I've known editor Tristan Taormino for many years, and when she contacted me about this project, I knew Chris Parker needed to be included in this anthology. Trans and genderqueer folk are fiercely sexy to me, and I am proud to have created the first-ever FTM romantic lead in a long-running erotic series.

Take Me There is a great collection of erotica by, for, and about transfolk, FTMs, MTFs, genderqueers, gender outlaws, as well as two-spirit, intersex, and gender-variant people. The power of seeing and being seen is a central theme in the anthology; it’s not simply about passing or not passing (an idea often explored with transgender characters), but about being acknowledged and desired in a sexual context.

Other contributors include authors Kate Bornstein (Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation), Patrick Califia (Speaking Sex to Power), S. Bear Bergman (Butch is a Noun), Ivan Coyote (Missed Her), Julia Serrano (Whipping Girl), Helen Boyd (My Husband Betty), Toni Amato (Pinned Down by Pronouns), Alicia E. Goranson (Supervillianz), filmmaker Tobi Hill-Meyer, musician Rahne Alexander, songwriter Shawna Virago, blogger Andrea Zanin, and others.

If you join us on Wednesday, October 12th at Bluestockings, you'll not only hear my story, but the contributions of author Rachel Kramer Bussel, blogger Sinclair Sexsmith of The Sugarbutch Chronicles, and poet/performer/activist Rachel K. Zall.

I hope Take Me There not only gives me an opportunity to introduce new readers to the Marketplace series, but that it will offer my long-time fans a look at Chris Parker's fictional peers. See you at Bluestockings!

I Love to Write.

2011-09-18T16:53:00.000-04:00

I spend a lot of time at leather conferences. They make me feel good about what I write. But going to a writers’ conference makes me feel good about being a writer.

I learned that earlier this month when I attended the Erotic Authors Association conference. I returned to New York feeling energized, and ready to tackle some long-awaited (and some new!) writing projects. I am dedicating my fall and winter to writing.

One of the workshops I taught at the conference was on how to write a series. I am bringing more creative energy to my own series, and hope to have The Inheritor, Book Six of the Marketplace series, completed by early 2012. For those of you who wish you could find out more about it – visit my Marketplace wiki! I use this wiki as a codex to keep track of all the characters in the Marketplace universe… and as I write the sixth book, those characters are included on the wiki. Which, by the way, is an excellent tool for anyone writing a series (as I told my workshop participants.)

I also updated my workshop offerings to include some writing workshops. Look for “Romancing with Words: Erotica for Beginners,” “Unsafe Words – Exercises to Jazz Up Your Sex Writing,” and “It’s a Long Story: Writing an Erotic Series” among others.

I will also be joining some readings taking place in the NYC area in October. I’m delighted to have a short story in “Take Me There,” a genderqueer collection edited by my friend, Tristan Taormino. My contribution, “The Man With the Phoenix Tattoo,” is the only story about Chris Parker that I have not published in the Marketplace series. Join us at Bluestockings on Wednesday, October 12th at 7:00 p.m. and hear it live. For more details, check out my events calendar on the right.

And I’m working on a series of other projects as well. I’ll be sharing those with you over the next several weeks, as they come to fruition. So stay tuned! I’m going to have a very productive autumn and winter.

Stay tuned – I think it will be a productive autumn!

Readings and More in Las Vegas

2011-08-29T18:39:00.002-04:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, I'll be in Las Vegas for the Erotic Authors Association Conference. I've also added two readings to my schedule, and I hope that fans in Sin City will join me!

First, my friend and fellow author Rachel Kramer Bussel is co-hosting a an erotic open mic at the Erotic Heritage Museum on Friday, September 9th at 7:00 p.m. I'm joining her, as well as other authors from the conference and local writers for what promises to be a very steamy evening!

Then on Saturday the 10th, I'll be stopping by PT's Pub (where the Sin City munch is held) for a reading that is free and open to all. PT's Pub is located in the Sahara Pavilion Complex in the Sahara Pavilion Complex 4604 Sahara (near Decatur). Doors will open at 6:30 and the reading will begin at 7:00. I'll have books available for sale, and you can bring your well-loved copies for autographs, too!

I also hope you'll join me at this great conference. I'll be on a panel about “writing queer” and teaching a class on – what else? – the challenges of writing a series.

See you in Vegas, Baby!

Headed to the Erotic Authors Association Conference

2011-08-02T21:02:00.000-04:00

In September, I'm going to attend the first-ever Erotic Authors Association conference.

Most erotica events tend to be focused on the visual: models, fashion, and, well, lots of nearly-naked people. This conference promises to titillate the brain first, and be a bit more reflective of reality.

I'll be part of a panel on "writing queer" and teaching a class on - what else? - the challenges of writing a series. I've often wondered why there aren’t more lengthy sagas on the erotica shelves – that don’t involve magic, vampires and werewolves. The Marketplace series didn’t leap into existence overnight or even over a few years, but is nearly 20 years in the making. I'll talk about character arcs, bibles, making a codex, the dreaded trilogy trap, and the temptation to repeat your first success by writing the same story over and over.

The Erotic Authors Association conference will bring together erotica readers, publishers, aspiring authors, and my fellow writers. It's always a pleasure to hang out with other writers - especially the ones that write dirty, sexy stories!

If you're looking for a rewarding weekend with authors and fans of erotica, I hope you'll join me in Las Vegas, September 9-10. For more information on the Erotic Authors Association conference, cilck here,

The Original Marketplace Trilogy is Back in Print!

2011-07-12T21:32:00.000-04:00

I'm pleased to announce that the original Marketplace trilogy, The Marketplace, The Slave, and The Trainer, is now back in print, thanks to Circlet Press, where the motto is Celebrating the erotic imagination.

The third book in the Marketplace Series brings us into the House of Anderson, the Trainer of Trainers, where Chris Parker and a few clients are in residence. Michael LaGuardia loves being part of the Marketplace and loves the sex slaves he regularly trains. After a couple of years in California, Michael thinks he is ready for a step up, ready for an apprenticeship with Anderson. (He's wrong.)

To read an excerpt from The Traienr, click here.

The Trainer was originally published fifteen years ago by Masquerade Books. At the time, I felt that I had given the lead character, Michael LaGuardia, short shrift. When Masquerade left the publishing business, I moved the Marketplace series to Mystic Rose Books, and expanded The Trainer by nearly a third, adding more to Michael’s story.

Now that I’m settled at Circlet Press, I’ve been expanding my series even further. I’ve developed thematic short stories for each of the Marketplace novels, and including them in the e-book editions. The “Life is a Party” stories are, as the title implies, short stories that all take place at parties which happen during the timeline of the novel.

In the case of The Trainer, the short story features a sex party complete with slave auction at the home of handsome, controversial Master Trainer Geoff Negel, where Michael launches his career in the Marketplace.

“California Dreaming” is only available in the e-book edition of The Trainer. However, the first two short stories, “For Want of a Nail,” published in the new edition of The Marketplace; and “That’s Harsh!” in The Slave, are now available for separate download for just 99 cents! You can download them here.

Once The Academy: Tales Of the Marketplace, is published (winter 2011), “California Dreaming” will also be available for separate download. The same will happen for The Reunion, (spring 2012) and for the long-anticipated Book Six in the Marketplace series, The Inheritor (summer 2012).

Summer Stealthiness

2011-07-01T23:58:00.000-04:00

My summer has been wonderfully busy, with a combination of writing, presenting, and even a few stealth readings.

Stealth readings? You ask. What are stealth readings? Well, I’ve been writing up some new material, and from time to time, I want to gauge how readers might react to it. So when I’m at an event, I invite attendees to gather a group of their friends, and invite me to come to their room and read to them. Or, if there’s a lot of interest, we ask the event organizer if we can borrow a room after the workshops and presentations are done.

I started doing these at The Floating World in 2010, because I was writing That’s Harsh, and wanted to get feedback from the bootblacks. A few members of the Bootblack Brigade tweeted the time and location to their friends, and *boom* I had an audience.

Since then, I’ve read portions of other short stories that will be published later this year, as well as chapters from two other book projects I’m working on: a paranormal series, and a comedy murder mystery that takes place at a leather contest. Because these stealth readings are entirely fan-driven, it’s a great time for me to connect with people, and for my fans to hear fresh work.

If you’re interested in holding a stealth reading at an event I’ll be attending, please don’t hesitate to let me know. And if you’re wondering where I’ll be in the next few months, here’s the list:

July 8-10
Denver

Thunder in the Mountains
I’ll be presenting two relatively new workshops at this wonderful event in the Mile-High City. Whatever YOU Want: The Lifestyle of a Pleasure Slave will discuss service through pleasures beyond sex and play. The second, Have a Cookie! Using Rewards in your SM Relationships is part of my series on establishing and maintaining protocols – and enforcing a system of rewards and punishments to strengthen a relationship dynamic based in dominance and submission.

July 29-31
Edison, NJ

The Floating World
I’m returning to this wonderful event, and teaching three classes:Unscheduled Maintenance: Keeping your SM Relationship Purring
Meet the Parents; Familial Relationships in SM & Play, andService with a Smile: Tactics for Overcoming Temporary Obstacles in Being Your Best

September 9-10
Las Vegas

The Erotic Authors Association

This is the first convention designed for readers, authors and those who enjoy the erotic side of life. Join me along with other authors, artists, publishers and fans for an amazing weekend of readings, panels, classes and industry networking. I’ll be teaching a class entitled Writing a Series: The Marketplace . How can you develop a continuing series, or perhaps more importantly, sell one? I’ll talk character arcs, bibles, making a codex, the dreaded trilogy trap, and the temptation to repeat your first success 20X.

Each of the above events offers chances for me to meet up with fans, either at the event or off-site. So don’t hesitate to contact me about your interest in having me do a stealth reading!

Free Story Through July First!

2011-06-16T22:03:00.003-04:00

In honor of winning the 2011 National Leather Association-International’s John Preston Short Fiction Award for my short storyThat’s Harsh, my publisher is offering a free copy of the story if you sign up for the email list by July first!

Tthere’s no down side to this offer. Circlet Press has a motto:“celebrating the erotic imagination.” If you like my books, you’ll love getting to know what else this wonderful publisher has to offer.

Summer Tour Begins

2011-05-31T22:16:00.000-04:00

I've got a lot of appearances on my plate for the summer, to promote the re-release of The Trainer, Book Three in the Marketplace Series. Here's a few places you can catch me this summer - and yes, I'll have books for sale!

Saturday, June 4th
New York City
ClubFEM, a social cub for dominant women and submissive men, is inviting me to tea. In return, I'll present my workshop For Your Own Good: Using Punishment in Your S/M Relationships. Contact the Club if you're interested in attending.

Friday, June 17th
New York City
Lesbian Sex Mafia
I'll be presenting my interactive flirting workshop, "Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want" at LSM this month. LSM meets at the LGBT Center, 208 West 13th from 8-10p.m.

Thursday-Sunday, June 23-26
Maryland
Fusion
Fans and friends have begged me for years to set aside my dislike for camping in order to attend a Dark Odyssey event. This summer, I'll try out Fusion, presenting a few workshops and doing a reading. Perhaps it'll even be around a campfire!

July 1-4
New Jersey
TESFest
This year marks the 40th anniversary of The Eulenspiegel Society, or TES, as it's known today. TES was the first SM club I ever investigated, and I'm proud to be part of this important anniversary event.

So, if you're a sissy maid, a kinky outdoors-type, a leatherwoman, or an out and proud sadomasochist, I hope to run into you at an event in June. As usual, I'll have books for sale, and you are welcome to bring your well-loved copies to these events for an autograph as well.

Summer Update

2011-05-15T13:33:00.000-04:00

I recently had dinner with Lochai, the wonderful photographer I'm working with for the Luster editions of the Marketplace series. We were discussing the plans for the cover of the The Trainer and the rest of the series. Which reminded me that I haven't offered an update on where I am with my writing projects these days.

The Trainer, Book Three of the Marketplace series, will be out this summer. As I've been doing with all the re-releases, it will include a new short story available only in the e-book edition. "California Dreamin'" takes place at a party in the home of the notorious West Coast trainer, Geoff Negel. Here's an excerpt:

Michael went from one posing platform to another, consulting the auction plan they’d been given. Each slave had a different set of positions they could assume, and was instructed how to uncurl gracefully from one into another when they got stiff or after an owner had repositioned them for examination. They wore no clothing, of course, but each was decorated with colored thin ropes wound around biceps or draped across chests, circling their throats, wrists or ankles. . . (more)

I've also written a short story about Chris Parker, the first I've ever done that appears outside the Marketplace series. "The Man With the Phoenix Tattoo" will will be published in an upcoming anthology entitled Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, edited by the fabulous Tristan Taormino. Look for it this fall.

Of course, work on the sixth book of the Marketplace series, "The Inheritor," is continuing, but it's not my only project right now. For years, I've been tinkering with the idea of writing a comedy-mystery series, à la Bimbos of the Death Sun, by Sharyn McCrumb. I've finally started work on the book and reading the first few chapters at various conferences, to hilarious results.

I'm attending several events over the summer, teaching and reading from my various projects. Check out my events calendar and if you want to bring your well-loved copies of books for me to sign, I'll be delighted to do so. And, of course, I'll have books available for sale as well.

Kinko De Mayo, Here I Come!

2011-04-25T21:49:00.000-04:00

My second trip to Ohio this year takes me to Cleveland, where Ohio S.M.A.R.T. puts together a weekend fiesta full of great times, two nights of hot extreme dungeon play, shopping and mucho mucho more.

Yep, I'll be at Kinko De Mayo, taking place May 6-8, teaching two of my classes that address structures for SM relationships:

The Way of It: Establishing and Maintaining Protocol Within Relationships

The number one reason given for dissatisfaction in an ongoing formal SM relationship is not because the top can't tie a knot or the bottom. It's lack of consistency. What's one tool in a top's mental toy bag to keep this from happening? Establishing and maintaining a protocol of behavior. I'll give an introduction -- and my personal views -- on issues of etiquette, protocol, and their place within personal relationships and our community.

Have a Cookie! Using Rewards in your SM Relationships

Establishing and enforcing a system of rewards and punishments can strengthen a relationship dynamic based in dominance and submission. Learn to identify methods of praising and rewarding each other that are personal and reinforce the values you have set for your relationships. Drawing from personal experience and longtime observations, I'll discuss the difference between rewards and praise, the importance of consistency and balance, and how to make a little go a long way.

This will be the last time I travel to the Midwest this year, but my summer appearances include some big conference events - Thunder in the Mountains, The Floating World, and the 40th anniversary of TESFest. I will have books available at all of these events, and I hope to see you there.

2011-04-18T20:30:00.000-04:00

I am deeply honored that the National Leather Association-International has given me two awards this year: one for writing and one for lifetime achievement.

My personal leather history is intertwined with the NLA's history. I was part of the formative years of NLA in the late 80's and early 90's, as an at-large member. I helped to create the NLA Metro New York chapter. I attended Living in Leather conferences in Portland, Chicago, and Seattle, meeting hundreds of leatherfolk, many of whom remain good friends. In fact, I met my wife, Karen, at Living in Leather VII back in 1992.

It was NLA that dared to believe we could call ourselves a "community," 25 years ago. Today, we use the term as if we've always thought of all the myriad parts of our BDSM/kink/rubber/leather /fetish/whoozits groups as somehow connected. But it was NLA that gave us that truly radical notion - that the kinksters in Butte had something in common with the players in Raleigh, and with the clubs in New York City.

But Wait! There's More!

I'm thrilled to announce that my short story, "That's Harsh," available in the e-book edition of The Slave, has won the National Leather Association-International's John Preston Short Fiction Award of 2011.

This award means a lot to me. It's the first time any of my writings have won any award. Further, that I won in the "John Preston" category is wonderful. I consider John one of the writing mentors in my life. At the time of his death, Preston was one of only a handful of writers who had made the literary jump from the genre of pornography into the literary field. My only hardcover book, Looking For Mister Preston, brings together dozens of authors who were inspired by or encouraged by John to write. I was one of them. Here's an excerpt from my introduction to that (now out-of-print) book:

How did he do it, I asked, how did he break out of the porn genre to become such a literary reader? ‘Just keep writing,’ he told me. 'If you’re good, editors will know. They’ll know you can deliver, and you’ll do whatever you want. And you’ll have readers who will read only your porn, and readers who will read only your mainstream stuff, and you’ll have the crossover readers who will buy anything with your name on it.”

Those words, and his gentle smile, keep me writing to this day.

Happy Passover!

2011-04-18T20:14:00.001-04:00

This is the week of Passover. Tonight, millions of Jews across the world are gathered at tables and telling the story of Exodus.

Many of you know that my wife and I wrote our ownhaggadah, the book used for the telling of the Passover story. Avadim Hayeinu, Once We Were Slaves, focuses elements of the traditional Passover story through the lens of the leather power dynamics in our community. After all, slavery, like sex, wasn’t invented in our generation. In fact, over 3,000 years of Jewish tradition requires all Jews to participate in an annual ritual to discuss slavery and freedom: Passover. For thousands of years, Jews have built upon the Exodus story, creating hundreds of thousands of variations of the ritual from many perspectives. Learn – or revisit – the Passover story from an S/M perspective, drawing on ancient tradition and building new rituals that speak to us today.

For those of you looking for a new way to look at Passover, or interested in rituals that reflect slavery, power, and freedom, please take a look at our haggadah. And drink a celebratory cup of wine!

My First Novel is Available Again!

2011-03-29T18:12:00.000-04:00

Before I wrote the Marketplace series, I was writing gay male porn. And my first novel, MUSCLEBOUND is available again! And whether you like hot, punishing, man-on-man sex, or yearn for a tale of innocence-to-experience, this is the novel for you!

Musclebound is a brutal tale of sex and abuse set in a gym. Tom falls hard for an older an older man he meets in a gym with mixed feelings of fear and attraction. Meanwhile, the older man puts Tom through a sexual initiation involving BDSM and brutal, sweaty sex. In the process Tom's hatred of his own body and gay urges is transformation in very positive ways. Musclebound is a story that takes Tom from innocence to experience, ordeal to triumph.

Yep, innocence to experience via punishing and brutal sex made MUSCELBOUND the first book of mine ever mentioned in academia.

No less a figure than Will Roscoe, one of the major voices in gay men’s spirituality in the United States, anthropologist and winner of the Margaret Mead Award, devoted a neat chapter to Muscle Bound in his book Queer Spirits.

Roscoe seems delighted to find that my little porn novel fulfills the requirements of a mythic story; he writes about how my hero Tom relates to the story villain with “fear and attraction based on a sense of lack, (that) all too often characterizes how we as gay men relate to our fathers.” He talks about the “initiatory themes” of the sex scenes, and how Tom grows with the transformation of his body, “a common feature of tribal rites.”

Truth is, I did write it that way. I took my years of study of literature, anthropology, sociology, sexuality and, well, the mythic archetype, and added brutal, sweaty gay sex. I figured I couldn’t mess up my first novel if I just told The Story. And here, this guy saw it and wrote about it, probably never dreaming this story was written by 1) a woman, and 2) an academic drop-out with too much useless information to sit around and not use it from time to time.

And now, I'm delighted to be working with Sizzler Editions to bring MUSCLEBOUND back to print. Well, to e-book format anyway!

California, Here I Come!

2011-03-18T23:11:00.000-04:00

For my Bay Area fans who always ask "when are you coming to California?" My answer is "The end of this month! I'll be there all week! Mark your calendars and bring your friends!" I'll also have copies of the new editions of The Marketplace and The Slave with me, to add to your book collection.

Monday, March 28th
San Francisco
7:00 p.m. (no charge)
Wicked Grounds
I'm reading from an unpublished work at this fabulous kinky coffee cafe, where the brew is strong and there's never a cover charge. I'll have books with me for sale, as well!

Tuesday, March 29th
San Francisco
7:00 p.m. (sliding scale $5-10)
The Big Pink House, a queer and kinky play space, is hosting me for a special evening. Event information here.

Wednesday, March 30th
San Francisco
8:00 p.m. ($20)
I'm returning to the SF Citadel to present an audience favorite, Too Kinky For Words: Playing Way Off The Edge. It seems the perfect workshop for the Bay area’s premiere Community Dungeon Play Space! Do not come if easily scared, triggered, annoyed or offended!

Thursday, March 31
Santa Cruz
Pure Pleasure
7:30 p.m. ($20/advance, $25 at the door)
One of my most popular workshops, For Your Own Good: Using Punishment in your SM Relationships will be presented at this wonderful sex shop. I’ll discuss punishment and its myths, uses, limits, and how to create punishments that are appropriate to the moment, while being erotic and enjoyable to the enforcer.

Friday-Sunday, April 1-3
Join me and fellow sex educator Midori for a special weekend intensive designed for people who enjoy authentic power dynamics and D/s, who want to consciously create quality relationships that suit their personal hungers and needs in the context of the real world. Register here for Passionate Bonds Weekend Intensive.

At PASSIONATE BONDS, we can help you build the best way to live YOUR life. From the little details about what to call each other to the big picture items like time management and planning for the future. In three days, you find out what is really important to you and how to best bring it into your life, with your current partner(s) or the next one.

I will have the latest editions of Marketplace and The Slave with me at all of these events. These Luster Editions novels are also available as e-books, and feature covers designed and produced by the cast at Kink.com. I'm also happy to autograph your already-owned copies of my books.

In Portland This Weekend

2011-03-15T21:30:00.003-04:00

If you want to meet some of the country’s most amazing presenters, watch some of the most serious players, and surround yourself with hundreds of fabulous kinksters, join me this weekend in Portland at Kinkfest. I’m honored to be part of this event. Here’s where you can find me:

Friday afternoon: 1:00-2:30 p.m.
I’m presenting an audience favorite: For Your Own Good: Using Punishment In Your SM Relationships. I’ll discuss punishment and its myths, uses, limits, and how to create punishments that are appropriate to the moment, while being erotic and enjoyable to the enforcer.

Friday evening: 6:00-7:00
Stealth Reading!
Sixth Floor of the Host Hotel.
You won’t find this in the Program Book!
I’ll be reading an as-of-yet unpublished work, chosen by those in attendance. We’ll pass the hat to benefit the NCSF-Bring an IMsL to IMsL project, in honor of the 25th anniversary of International Ms Leather.

Saturday afternoon: 1:00-2:30 p.m.
I’m presenting a personal favorite: Creative Disobedience: The Art of Being a Wiseass.There is a creative challenge to being just disobedient enough to entertain, divert, and involve a top in playful reactions ranging from a laugh to lighthearted punishment. Learn the basics of what it takes to walk that very fine line between being annoying or amusing; whiny or whimsical.

And of course, I’ll have books for sale, and will autograph your well-loved copies as well as new purchases.

THE SLAVE is back in print! ... and in E-Book Editions!

2011-03-08T18:15:00.000-05:00

I’m pleased to announce that THE SLAVE is now back in print thanks to Circlet Press,where the motto is Celebrating the erotic imagination.

The Slave is available as an ebook OR in a print-on-demand paperback edition. The ebook contains an all-new bonus story, “That’s Harsh,” which features a hot leather party where Robin is put to work as a bootblack. The ebook also includes the text of the bonus story from the Mystic Rose edition of The Slave, “A Familiar Ring.”(The paperback has only the text of the novel.)

Ebook also available from the Amazon Kindle Store, Fictionwise, All Romance eBooks, Smashwords, Scribd, the Apple iBookstore, and many other online retailers. The print book can be ordered by any decent bookstore through Ingram and should be available on the Espresso Book Machine, as well!

Here’s the link which includes an excerpt from the THE SLAVE. Other links to purchase the book are along the left side of my website, as well.

Heads Up, Left Coast! I'm headed your way!

2011-03-08T09:52:00.000-05:00

For fans who ask me "when will be you on the West Coast again?" I present to you my packed schedule, with several different opportunities to find me in the Bay area in particular. Tell your friends! Better yet, bring your friends to one of these appearances!

I begin my tour in Portland, then down to San Francisco for conferences, readings, workshops and the wonderful Passionate Bonds Weekend Intensive.

Here's the line-up:

March 18-20
Portland, Oregon
Kinkfest, sponsored by the Portland Leather Alliance, is celebrating its lucky 13th year. I'm presenting my punishment workshop on Friday afternoon, Saturday afternoon is my workshop on Creative Disobedience, and Friday night at 6:00p.m. is my stealth reading to benefit NCSF-Bring an IMsL to IMsL Project.

After a week's break, I'm back on the West Coast, this time in the Bay Area. I hope to see you at one of these events:

Monday, March 28th
San Francisco
7:00 p.m. (no charge)
Wicked Grounds
I'm reading from an unpublished work at this fabulous kinky coffee cafe

Tuesday, March 29th
San Francisco
7:00 p.m. (sliding scale $5-10)
The Big Pink House
Event information here.

Wednesday, March 30th
San Francisco
8:00 p.m. ($20)
SF Citadel
I'm presenting my workshop Too Kinky for Words: Playing Way Off the Edge

Thursday, March 31
Santa Cruz
Pure Pleasure
7:30 p.m. ($20/advance, $25 at the door)
One of my most popular workshops, For Your Own Good: Using Punishment in your SM Relationships will be presented at this wonderful sex shop

Friday-Saturday, April 1-2
Register here for Passionate Bonds Weekend Intensive.

Mark your calendars and I'll see you on the sunset coast!

Registration Now Open for Passionate Bonds Intensive!

2011-02-27T11:19:00.000-05:00

Tired of searching for the ultimate guide to your D/s or SM relationship?

Do you want to make your BDSM relationship the best it can be for you and your partners?

Registration for the April 1-2 PASSIONATE BONDS Weekend in San Francisco is now open!

Join me and my friend and fellow sex educator Midori for a special weekend intensive designed for people who enjoy authentic power dynamics and D/s, who want to consciously create quality relationships that suit their personal hungers and needs in the context of the real world.

Through our unique curriculum and its innovative tools, each individual or relationship unit will create their own customized manual of effective protocol, rules, etiquettes and codes of conduct.

Not sure if it’s for you? You can hear more about the PASSIONATE BONDS Weekend on this month’s podcast on Dart’s Domain.

At PASSIONATE BONDS, we can help you build the best way to live YOUR life. Not someone else’s way, not a fantasy, not some idealized, impossible to achieve image – but your honest, realistic and yes, romantic style of dominance & submission. From the little details about what to call each other to the big picture items like time management and planning for the future. In three days, you find out what is really important to you and how to best bring it into your life, with your current partner(s) or the next one.

You can spend your money on a new pair of leather pants or your time at a weekend watching dungeon play or fetish fashion. Or, you can make an investment in your relationships and values. If you are passionate about why you do this and want to know how to make your fantasy into reality, then this weekend is yours.

For more information and to register, click here.

West Coast Travels in March-April

2011-02-12T23:21:00.001-05:00

Now that I am back from Winter Wickedness, a really wonderful weekend BDSM conference, I’m focusing on writing for the rest of the month of February. I’ll take one short break to participate in the new Ravenous Readings reading series, which happens the first Friday of every month in New York City.

In Mid-March, I’ll be heading to the Pacific Northwest to present workshops and a reading at KinkFest in Portland, Oregon. It’s been many years since I’ve been to Portland, and I am looking forward to it. I’ll be presenting two of my most popular workshops, Creative Disobedience: The Art of Being a Wiseass, and For Your Own Good: Using Punishment in Your SM Relationships.

At the end of March, I’ll be headed to San Francisco for a series of readings and workshops, culminating in my weekend intensive, Passionate Bonds, co-facilitated with Midori, on April 1-2. Registration for Passionate Bonds will open on February 20th.This weekend focuses on your personal dominant/submissive relationships, and building successful communication and protocols to keep it humming.

If you’re looking for something less intense, join me at Wicked Grounds, San Francisco’s SM Cafe, on Monday March 28th at 7:00 p.m. for a reading from an as-of-yet-unpublished short story. On Wednesday March 30th, I’ll be presenting Too Kinky For Words: Playing Way Off The Edge at the SF Citadel. On Thursday, I’ll head to Santa Cruz, and present my erotic punishment workshop at the Pure Pleasure.

My schedule of workshops and presentations is posted on the calendar on the upper right side of my website – I hope you’ll join me when I’m on the West Coast.

My speech at Winter Wickedness

2011-02-08T16:56:00.000-05:00

You Must be This Tall, Part 2 – Own Yourself

Good evening and thank you for scheduling an address in the evening and not ten am in the morning after two nights of dungeon play. I often wonder why people ask to have me speak at these things, anyone who has heard or read my speeches should know I am not a cheerleader for unity in the community or other such nonsense. But part of me suspects the reason for this is since my speeches often wind up being given at brunch, most of the people listening are too hung over or blissed out or exhausted and crashing to parse anything more complex than "scrambled eggs or waffles?" They hear some other people laughing, hear me say "fuck a lot" and assume it was a great time. Oh, that Laura! She's so funny.

It might come as a surprise to you to know that I actually consider this my profession. Yes, I am still trying to make a living by writing, speaking and teaching. A benefit of this is I get to travel a lot, sometimes to places considered exotic by this native New Yorker – for example, last year I got to go to Australia. Last weekend, I was in Phoenix, where, thanks to the woo-woo atmosphere I decided my Native American name is Kvetches to Perverts. And now here I am in beautiful...um..Worthington. Believe it or not, this is also exotic to me. For example, I understand jello is considered a salad ingredient here. I actually learned this from my wife, who is from Holland, Michigan, and my Daddy, who comes from this great state. How I wound up with two Midwestern ladies is a mystery. You betcha.

A drawback of all this travel and socializing is that I am exposed to and hear more about my fellow perverts than I really want to be. Because I only teach classes about relationships and other thought topics, people often tell me stories about what's going on in their lives – sometimes in person, sometimes after the event is long over, via e-mail. And of course, I am frequently pointed to discussions on Fetlife, often by people who seem to think I am going to get involved in online drama. (And no, I am not. I did that 10, 15 years ago, I'm over it.)

Speaking of 15 years ago.

In 1995, I wrote Unsafe at Any Speed, or Safe, Sane and Consensual, My Fanny. It was my brief manifesto about how boring and safe and over negotiated the scene was becoming. Since that time, many people have come to me to say it describes exactly how they felt, blah, blah, blah.

Two years ago, I gave another speech called You Must be This Tall to Ride This Ride, where I noted that DS-ers – the master slave people – were feeling put out by the fact that literature in the scene was being produced that seemed to suggest some of what they did might look like abuse when seen out of context. My response to this was to tell them to quit whining about how mean the other kinky people are and stand tall enough to take the consequences of their choices.

Well, now I am going to be a little more direct.

I'm turning 48 this year. That means sometime in September or October of this year will mark the 30^th anniversary of my going into Manhattan and stepping into an SM club for the first time.

Thirty fucking years.

I know I've grown up. Now, I am going to ask when the scene will do the same.

It's long past time for the scene to acknowledge the simple fact that a lot of what we teach, support and submit for public consumption is in fact pediatric sadomasochism. And while that's fine for the sex shop dilatants and the easily titillated and the once-a-year fetish crowd, and it's perfectly appropriate for the novices and the shy and the socially awkward, at a certain stage in development, you have to take the training wheels off.

And, much more importantly, you have to know that by taking those wheels off, you run a greater risk of falling; but falling is part of the process. Mama ain't gonna run out with bandaids all your life. You crash, you get up and apply your own fucking bandaid. Eventually, even though you will grow more skilled and crash less often, you will always know, as you pull out onto life's road, that there are dangers around you and you might fall again, even risk serious injury. But the benefits of riding that bike outweigh the risks. The freedom over-rides the fear.

For example, let's stop pretending that safewords are necessary or even useful. And on the flip side, let's stop pretending that playing without a safeword is somehow more dangerous than having one, or the mark of a more real or absolute or total or whatever the fuck you want to call it relationship.

The original intention of having a safeword was so a roleplaying bottom could enjoy screaming "no, stop," and other things like that yet also be able to inform the top that something was wrong, or they were nearing or at their limit. In other words, it stopped the scene ONLY because the use of plain English was considered potentially confusing.

Let me tell you – "untie me or I will call the cops, my lawyer, or your mom" is plain speech that will usually kill a scene dead. So will thinks like "I withdraw my consent." But hey, if saying "red" cuts through the role playing that much faster, more power to ya.

But if a bottom has the ability to express themselves in a language a top understands – and usually, I insist on at least that much with someone new to me – they should be able to say something like, oh, "Ouch, I think I just sprained my shoulder." Or, "I need to pee." A bottom who does not use a special word to indicate a distraction or challenge still has the responsibility it communicating it! And a top who does not expect to hear that special word must instead take on the responsibility of hearing a genuine issue instead of first accepting the code word.

But instead, safewords seem to have become some sort of talisman, either proof of the greatest good – the responsible SMer – or of the greatest evil, the not-real DSer. Guess what, folks? It's neither. It's a fucking tool, designed to let people experiment and play and find out what real limits are and how to communicate and how to find out about each other. Just because at a certain point you find you find yourself not using them doesn't mean that you are either 1) unsafe or 2) better than people who do. It just means you have found different ways to communicate.

But safewords and the myths around them are just a symptom of the greater illness that has afflicted the scene. When I came out, there were damn few resources for information, networking, socializing. And the ability to spread this information and connect these people was extremely limited.

Now, we have 700,000 perverts on Fetlife, eager to share details about their habits, tastes and experiences, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

On one hand, that's a good thing. The more out there, the easier it is to connect and play safely and well.

On the other hand, it has encouraged some of the most pediatric behavior of all – the lack of personal responsibility.

Folks. What we do isn't rocket science, but neither is it gymboree. If you can't negotiate safe sex, you really have no business negotiating sadomasochism. If you are disturbed by the consensual behavior of other adults because you find it triggers something in you, you shouldn't go to places where you can see them act out their play. If you put your body in the hands of someone else and don't take care of your needs, whether it's by negotiation, communication, or any other adult responsibility, you need to accept the consequences. If you can't manage your own life, you should not be trying to manage someone else's. If you don't own your own shit, you should not be trying to be owned by someone else.

Harsh words! But I said I was going to be direct and there it is.

Some of you cheered or nodded along with that list like these were truths that should be self evident. But the fact is, after every event I go to, I can tell stories of what I witnessed, or heard about afterwards or read about – on Fetlife – where people refuse to take responsibility for their own choices and actions.

The submissive didn't use her Safeword because she was too deep in subspace. Oh, really? Then she has no business using a Safeword. Obviously, that person needs a different way to communicate, needs to play a lot lighter, or needs a new top. And that top? Needs to stop relying on a magic word. We're not in kindergarten any more.

But my, do people whine! They don't get what they want from Friday to Sunday and on Monday morning they're typing away about everything that went wrong and why none of it is their fault, it's that other person, that other group, that other event, that social more.

Grow the fuck up. We are all responsible first and always for ourselves and our decisions. Stop hiding behind a role or identity to shield yourself from consequences. "But he consented to be my 24/7 total gorean olde guard lifestyle slave," is whining. If on day two after you signed that lifetime contract, said slave is already packing to go, guess what? The fault gets applied to both of you. Now pick up your toys, fix what was broken and try not to involve the entire freaking community in your drama.

Take responsibility for your feelings, your choices, your risks. Learn to say things like "I'm not ready for that," AND "I'm ready for that," and know that regardless, you have made the right choice for that place and time.

This doesn't excuse anyone from acting responsibly – in fact, this is a philosophy that insists that we can and must be MORE responsible. Just be responsible to yourself first – which will free you to take risks that might seem greater to an outsider, but are in fact simply your next step in what should be an exciting journey.

Winner for January e-book contest!

2011-02-01T12:11:00.002-05:00

Drum roll please....

The answers are:

The three most people got right - Ron Avidan, Chris Parker's brother, is the leatherman in the story Boys Will be Boys, from The Catalyst, now titled Cinema Erotica. And his willing victims are a couple named Mike and Dave, who show up later in....The Trainer! They are the master/slave couple Michael LaGuardia flirts with and considers going home with while on his night out at The Shaft, my thinly veiled version of NY's old kink bar, The Lure.

(More trivia - Mike and Dave also show up in my gay male novel of brutal, occasionally non-consensual kinky sex taking place in and around the world of bodybuilding, Musclebound, soon to be available as an e-book. And you would not believe how difficult it is to place a book these days that contains non-consensual kinky sex. (Middle aged guard rant - Why, when I was coming out, that was all we had! And we liked it that way! Weird how the culture changes sometimes...)

The other two were much harder. Kudos to three people who came up with very good guesses, finding Jennifer, from the lesbian story Sappho's Solution and supposing that she was the Jennifer who appears in The Reunion, Greg, of Helping a Buddy Out, who might have been Robin's college boyfriend Greg and Bob, who appears in The All Americans, and might have been the Bob on the phone sex line Robin calls when she is in college in The Slave. Ohh, so close!!

Because on that same phone call are Mark and Thea, the couple from the final story in The Catalyst, Master of the Evening.

No one got all five - but Gretchen, who answered me on Blogger, got FOUR - she got Thea, but not Mark!

And, I am OK with that. I will be sending her a free e-book as her prize for getting the most correct answers!

And just FYI:

The Catalyst underwent the title change because the new publisher thought the old title wouldn't sell it. Several different options were given to me, which I did not like at all; Cinema Erotica was my meeting them halfway. I gave up control over the cover image instead.

You can still buy the omnibus collection The Catalyst and Other Works at some major booksellers. I myself have about 25 copies left which I take with me for book signings. This book is officially out of print and will never be back in print - the stories that made up the collection now called Cinema Erotica are their own book now, only available in e-book format, and the rest of the stories and essays in that collection are being split up in different collections - the gay ones, for example, are in the e-book Shop Stud, featuring some of the best of my gay male erotic fiction.

Thank you all for playing - shall I do more contests in the future?

Laura

lantoniou.com

New Story in New Book

2011-01-26T15:09:00.001-05:00

I have a short but sweet piece, entitled "They Don't Make 'Em Like they Used To" in Up For Grabs, a new collection of gender exploratory erotica. Available via Circlet Press!

"Here's a Dollar: Buy a Culture!" My Speech at SW Leather

2011-01-24T12:00:00.005-05:00

Good morning and shalom.

I know some of you are nervous this morning, and not just because you are going to be hanging by your tits in a little while. You’ve heard me before, or you read my speeches online or you heard about me on Fetlife and you know that for the past 12 years or so, I have been pissing people off at various leather events around the country. You might have heard that Master Jim invited me to speak about leather history and instead I called people in the community liars and fantasists who made up stupid names and histories and sold them to increasingly susceptible people while those in the know stood by, complicit and smug. You might have been there at the Leather leadership Conference where I told a room of dedicated, hard working volunteers that they’d better get out of the way and let professionals move in; or at IMsL where I asked why we were still doing leather contests anyway.

So you are here this morning, waiting for me to rip you a new one about how silly it is to be religious/spiritual/whatever the fuck you want to call it. Or, you are sitting there in complicit silence, knowing how silly it all is, waiting for my one-liners and zingers, for which you will send me congratulatory e-mails, but not actually, you know, do anything, except enjoy the comedy.

I apologize for disappointing both factions. I hope you will find some of this entertaining or funny, certainly; it’ll be a dull morning otherwise. And if you sincerely would like some comedy mocking faith based beliefs, I can recommend Bill Maher with some minor caveats. My problem with Bill is that he goes after the most obvious examples of wingnuttery, whereas when I mock, I’ll hit people where they really live, not just on the corner of Loony Lane and Batshit Boulevard.

There are two reasons why I won’t take the cheap and easy route of ridiculing faith, neither of which is because it’s rude. Because, really – I am rude.

The first is because it’s none of my business.

The second is that I honestly don’t care. And lets face it, that’s not the same. There are a lot of things that are none of my business that I occasionally find the energy and focus to care about – usually involving the deliciously fascinating stories of other people’s problems. But faith and religion? Don’t care. Really. Whether you believe in 10,000 gods or one or none, if you believe in a hero born of a virgin and fathered by a ghost or a winged serpent, whether you pray on your knees or feet, wearing shoes or hats or nothing, whether you light candles, chant, sing, dance naked, honor a picture or a celestial object, pray once a year or five times a day, fast or feast, give up chocolate for a month or sacrifice black roosters, goats or your own flesh, really, I don’t give a flying fuck. You can think sex is a sin, queer sex is a sin, kinky sex or lack of sex is a sin, and ya know what? Still don’t care. Why should I bother with what’s in your head? Why should anyone care?

As long as it stays in your head. Inside voice/outside voice!

And that’s the issue, innit? It’s what comes out for public consumption I – and all of you – should take notice and issue with.

This conference has the well earned reputation as the woo-woo event for the kinky community, the phrase a tongue-in-cheek reference to the mystical, new-agey, spiritual-but-not-religious intent in its design. That’s awesome. Seriously. It’s not my thing, but then neither is rope bondage or furry sex and they have conferences for that, too. Like what’s in your head, gathering people of a like mind for purposes of education, socialization, communication, celebration and getting you nutters all in one place so we know who you are is a Good Thing. Because frankly, I don’t have enough time to track you all on Fetlife.

And if all this conference did was let you gather for your morning yoga and communion, your mid-day meditations and prayers, your shabbats and sabbats and sabbaths and the inevitable spaces where people sob out their pains and joys to each other in an orgy of self confession and communal love bombing, you’d be no more of interest to me than the group of perverts over there arguing over which incorrect Japanese word is used for which incorrect knot and whether Rocky the Randy Raccoon is so 15 minutes ago compared to Sandra the Sensual Siberian Tigress.

But that’s not the case. And while I continue, please don’t take this to mean it’s only limited to you, either. Like everything else in our community of independent, rough riding, rugged individualists who nonetheless dress, talk, act and fuck pretty much alike from coast to coast, there are people here who merely represent a trend that has been slowly infesting the kink scene for some time now, and personally, I wish it would stop. Sadly, like the community wide customs of making up ridiculous names and histories for ourselves and honoring the flavor of the moment and forgetting the mistakes of the past, there is zero chance of what I would call positive change happening. But at least I will get that sublime and transcendent pleasure of saying, “I told you so.”

Looking into past speeches given here I was struck with an interesting similarity in theme. Here are two examples.

slave marsha said some people are called to slavery and mastery, and very, very carefully sort of mentioned that not all of them actually get there. But that’s OK, she hastened to add, because we all get to name ourselves. Then she quoted from the Book of Ruth.

slave rick said that kinky people just naturally seek and often find transcendence, but even if you don’t, that’s OK, because everyone has their own valid experience set and all that. Then he quoted from Thomas Moore a Course in Miracles and Jessica Rabbit.

My friends – and these two were both friends before today – I have to say you’re wrong. Your first statements were RIGHT and true, and then you softened them – as we all do – by devaluing them in order to make your message more palatable to a larger audience. I do this all the fucking time, believe it or not. You think my speeches are intemperate and harsh? You should hear what’s in my head! Now, one more reference to a previous speaker –

Master Skip said be nice to each other because mean people suck, which isn’t OK because it’s a toxic element that destroys the essence of community building. And then he quoted himself. And Chris M and Lady Medora. And interestingly for me, I get to quote him. He said that when he is asking people to be nice, it’s about “propagating good behavior and not about legislating feelings. Each of us is entitled to our feelings, opinions and neuroses, but we’re not entitled to act upon them in ways that are injurious to others.”

There’s that inside voice/outside voice thing again.

Here at SWLC, you celebrate the divine, whether it’s in ritual or personal interactions. I get that. But what some of you might not understand is that just because you see your beliefs and practices as inspired by, honoring or representing sacredness doesn’t imbue them with special value to anyone else in the whole entire fucking world. And they should not. However, your beliefs, your feelings, your opinions and neuroses – including your belief in anything supernatural – SHOULD be vital to you. For crying out loud, if you really believe that all paths lead to the same place, why pick one over any other? Why choose to worship on any particular day if the Jews, Muslims and Christians are all the same? Why bother to sink hooks into your chest and dance to drums when you could just hit yourself in the hand with a hammer while listening to Kenny G? Trust me, that hurts, too! On so many levels.

But when you make a conscious choice to embrace a belief, I really hope you are doing so with thoughtful consideration, honesty and passion. I hope that in your heart, mind, your soul if you believe in one, you think this idea, this identity, this experience really is the One True Way, or at least The Very Best Way For Me Personally, Respecting the Experiences and Opinions of Others as Valid for Them, Just Not For Me. Sort of like, “your kink is OK, it’s not my kink, but your kink is OK.”

In other words – “if I am not for myself, who will be for me?”

For example, I was not raised Jewish; I am an adult convert. I deliberately sought out teachers and a process to join this community, this faith, this culture, subjected myself to years of study and practice, submitted myself to a ritual tribunal for consideration, made public affirmation, the whole megilla. In doing so, I have made a statement – I believe this identity is so awesome, it is in fact better – more true, more ethical, more ritually satisfying – than the one I grew up in. Better than the one you grew up with, too. Why?

None of your fucking business. And why should you care? Have you been listening?

Passion is important; it is one of those states of being in which creativity, strength, courage, focus and hard work can all flourish. Feel passion. Revel in it.

But don’t expect others to share it. And even more important – do not pity them when they don’t. And most importantly of all, do not engage in the worst behavior of faith based people all over the world – assuming that your invisible friends inform public actions with greater validity than someone else’s invisible friends.

See, the creeping negative feelings I see infiltrating the kinky scene have nothing to do with what you believe, or how you worship or whether you do or not. It’s the actions affecting other people – even when coming with the very best of intentions – that concern me the most.

Years ago, I attended a workshop on a relationship topic that sounded interesting, taught by someone I like very much. To my shock and horror, the stated topic was completely disregarded in favor of a polemic against what I can only call secular perverts. The teacher, a fine human being, a good person, an outstanding kinkster, put forth the statement of fact that one could not have or enjoy or mature in a master/slave relationship unless the participants embraced some sort of spiritual identity. OK; that’s an opinion. It would have been enough to leave it at that. But the instructor continued by asking the people in the room if they could identify such a belief – and when some demurred, continued to water down the definition of “spirituality” until it became as loosely defined as a feeling of being really impressed by natural phenomena – and still, when some people shrugged and said they did not feel this or were interested in seeking this experience, the presenter seemed very sad.

Folks – just because you believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn’t mean those who don’t are incapable of enjoying a nice plate of Pasta Bolognese from time to time. And just because I did just tell you to enjoy the feeling that your chosen way is the Best Way, Ever doesn’t mean you should be as uncivil – as Master Skip would put it – as to pity those who don’t share it.

And yet you do. It’s not the drumming circle the more secular SMers object to when they roll their eyes and call you woo-woo in less than beloved tones. It’s the smug superiority radiated by those who just know that if everyone believed as they did, danced with them, waved the sage, ate the matzoh, killed the chicken, reenacted psychodramas of cannibalism with a man in a dress – if they only joined the ancient ritual we made up in coven last Thursday – why, they, too, would know the secrets of the universe.

Don’t think that because YOUR ritual is so much better than others that it is mutually agreeable, acceptable or even interesting to anyone else. I wish this only happened to me once – but have been strong armed into attending and even participating in rituals not my own in kinky spaces for over 20 years now. Sometimes by people who at the same time, denigrate my own faith while doing so. Hey, leather community, want to respect the Jews among us?

Move Folsom off of Yom Kippur in those years when they fall on the same date.

But that’s not going to happen, and that’s OK – the dominant culture gets to pick these things. But what you don’t get to do is tell me that religious Jews wouldn’t go to Folsom anyway, or that your Jewish friends all go, so what’s my problem.

This is no different than the smug superiority of evangelical Christians who claim them love the Jews, and that’s why they keep trying to make us Christians to save us from hell. Or, those who swear they love the queers, and just want us to stop being queer through the magic of You-Pick-the-God so they don’t go to hell. I long ago lost my wishful thinking that oppressed people would not buy into oppression – but just as racism, sexism, and whatever ism you can name is represented among us, so is discrimination against nondenominational people – whether atheists, agnostics, or members of my sacred and holy tribe of the United Brotherhood of None of Your Fucking Business.

In other words – “when I am only for myself, who am I?”

When you bring your spiritual and religious beliefs into the public realm and use them as your sole reason to do things that involve and affect the person or property of others, understand that you are doing the exact same thing as people you wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire. Just as so many of us are embracing each other this weekend in the spirit of magic and imminence as brothers and sisters, the new governor of Alabama announced that anyone who didn’t believe in his version of Jesus was NOT his sibling. Just as we are assuring ourselves and each other that our particular deities look upon us with love, the Phelps clan and their less obnoxious but much more dangerous fellow travelers scream that their deity hates us. And just as we are might feel called to celebrate love by engaging in sex behaviors in groups of more than two pairbonded, differently gendered couples, others are claiming they celebrate that same love in polygamy that harms women and children.

Therefore, “that which is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor.” If you don’t like it when they use their holy texts to denigrate you, don’t use yours.

And it’s the same thing. Why? Because when the supposed backing for any action is that “my religion/faith/spirit/holy books/guru/channeled ancient priestess told me so,” there is no counter argument. There is no debate. There is no REASON. Arguing over which interpretation of an religious position is more valid or worthy is about as useful to public discourse as arguing whether Superman can beat up the Green Lantern. Speaking of which, if that sort of thing makes you feel spiritual, there’s a new Buddhist temple in Thailand painted with images of comic book heroes, Keanu Reeves and the predator. Knock yourself out.

It’s easy to see why people “love the woo” while in the midst of the kink community. By being queers and outcasts, weirdos and freaks, we have traditionally been denied the comforts of communal religion. But we as humans are social creatures; no matter how much we might reject community ties, it’s a truly rare person who doesn’t actually belong, or wish to belong somewhere, to some group, some culture. And once you find a group that celebrates who you are and allows you to participate in rituals of meaning, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking and then saying things like. “God actually LOVES fags! I know this! If you read the holy books this way, it’s perfectly clear!”

But the people who think God hates fags say the Same Exact Thing, with about as much proof as you have. The correct answer to “we should have/destroy this law because this holy book says so,” should not be disputing the text. It should be “what does law in a secular nation have to do with religion?” And by the way, can we stop pretending the US is a Judeo-Christian nation? I am not a fucking Judeo, and it’s condescending and empty as well as inaccurate.

Religion and faith have their places in the human psyche; they have their places in social relationships, in growth and development, in the seeking of truth, in all sorts of forces for good in the individual. But when you pull them out in public, you need to hear the real statements you are making, even when you modulate them with carefully chosen words and phrases designed to be least offensive to the largest group of people. Believe at will – with all your heart and soul and might. Share with those who want that experience with you, or those who are merely curious about it. But always remember that the path to enlightenment is a singular one. No one else can take you there, and you can’t coerce anyone to come with you. You might be ready to kill the Buddha on the road, but when you swing that sword, I might be right there as well, and I haven’t finished my fucking conversation with her.

Speaking of which.

Didja see what I did there? I used a reference to what would be a pretty obscure Buddhist koan; I am sure some people here know it well. Why am I so sure? Because when Americans do their shul shopping – or, I should say, their spiritual exploring – Buddhism is one of the major religious food courts in the mall. And most only buy the 99 cent taco and move on. More than half of all Americans change their religion, by the way – something to bring up when religious people claim being gay is a choice. Tell ‘em so is religion, and that’s protected by law. Watch them sputter. Rinse, repeat. I do this often.

So, we kinksters, being part of the rest of the world, also change religions a lot. Which brings me to my final point.

I know you’re so thrilled you have a spiritual practice that speaks to you. I know seeking ecstasy is exciting, fulfilling, transcendent; it brings you to the divine, it brings out the divine in you, it changes your state of being, it’s the neatest thing since Angry Birds.

But that does not give you the right to take on a culture not your own in a thoughtless, uneducated, insular, and yes, appropriating manner.

The title of this speech comes from Lea Delaria, who used to rant, delightfully, about cultural appropriation in many forms, the best example being white girls cultivating dreadlocks. Here’s a dollar, she snapped at these oblivious mall chicks in Jamaican coiffure; Buy a culture!

Interestingly, I titled this speech, oh, about 2 weeks after I was invited to make it. Which was 18 months ago. But just 2 weeks ago, I had a conversation with someone over – culturally appropriated hairstyles. No kidding. He was describing to me an incident that arose over the use of the term mohawk. I asked, honestly, “So, what DOES one call a hairstyle where the sides of the head are shaved or plucked bare leaving a narrow strip across the top?” because you know, I am a sensitive fucker who wants to use the right words, see? And in frustration, he said, “The word is not the point!”

Now of course, the word is part of the point. He was saying, as a person of native north american identity, that using the name of a people to refer to a haircut was at best flippant and at worst, disrespectful and appropriating. And like most good liberals, I try to be mindful of cultural appropriation – especially since I myself have appropriated one. So at the end of the evening, we realized that we agreed on one thing – it really isn’t the word. It is the thoughtlessness of the use, the idle, unmindful, culturally ignorant behavior that marks a dominant culture that feels free to commit genocide and then create a whole entertainment industry based on stories emphasizing the bloodthirstiness of the dead victims.

Of course, I am not sure what’s worse – making an oppressed, minority or foreign culture seem radical, dangerous and threatening – whether it’s Native Americans or Muslims – or re-making that “other” into something soft, cuddly, mystical, commercial and stripped of all real cultural significance.

It’s not just a modern and American thing – the early Christian churches made great headway by co-opting the local faiths of indigenous people and recasting them in Christian images. After all, virgin births, heroes abandoned to watery deaths and returning to lead their people, dying gods who leave and come back – these are all pretty common all over the world. Hey, you have a holy day at this time of year? So do we! That tree? It’s Jesus’ tree. Those eggs? Jesus’ eggs. It’s an amazing coincidence. Come over to our place! We’ve got wine!

But even when your purpose is to honor a belief or behavior, even when you feel like you want to preserve it, celebrate it, find its meaning and do it with love and respect – know that someone who was raised that way, often in isolation and hardship, without feeling like the rest of the world respects and honors their culture – is going to think you are at best, a fool and at worst, an imperialistic thief killing what is left of their heritage.

Among the many sins of the kinky community, we argue endlessly over the rules of a culture that really didn’t exist, and pretend we belong to a culture that a deluded professor in Queens NY made up in bad science fiction novels. And like the rest of our dominant culture, we assume that the heritage, rituals and beliefs of the others – who, oddly, are either mostly brown skinned or far away or dead, conveniently – are ours for the taking as much as something completely made up.

And you know what? To the winners of history do go the spoils. That’s the harsh reality of life and neither I nor the actual keepers of such things can or really should tell you what to do – as long as it doesn’t harm the person and property of others. Tribal elders have said that no one not of their lineage may perform the O-Kee-Pa, or call what they do by that name. I don’t believe Christians should take a seder and use it to announce that their messiah has come, either. Neither of us has the authority or power to enforce such a thing and really, I don’t want anyone to. That is the glorious freedom of our modern secular world — and I thank God for it.

But we can and should be better than fools or thieves. The first step is to not be fools – to research, study, question, delve, to dedicate ten times as much energy to reading and questing that we spend acquiring our toys and clothing and arguing our by-laws and bullshitting on Fetlife. The second step is to be civil – to do what we do with passion while respecting the rights of others to engage with us or not to. And the third is to acknowledge, mindfully, what we appropriate. Take responsibility for what you do; isn’t that part of the whole SM fantasy culture of respect and discipline and honesty? Yes, you might be leading lay line tours up in Sedona under the name Coyote Fang Morningdew. But hon, you were born Nancy Ann Fitzpatrick and your mom misses you at mass.

“And if not now – when?”

And by the way, for those of you who are still wondering about the truly deep, eternally pondered and debated philosophical issue I raised earlier in the speech – Green Lantern kicks Superman’s ass.

L’Chaim.

Headed to Warmer Climes

2011-01-16T22:36:00.001-05:00

One of the advantages of the winter months is that they encourage me to stay indoors and write. I’ve been feeling pretty productive: two short stories for two different collections, a chapter on “How To Train Your Sex Slave” for The Ultimate Guide to Kinky Sex,edited by Tristan Taormino (to be published later this year), and a secret project (#sekritproject) with Cecilia Tan and Midori.

I’m inspired to do more writing by my literary agent, Lori Perkins, who is also the Editorial Director of Ravenous Readings. Ravenous Romance is the publisher of my novel, Cinema Erotica.

After a while, though, the cold does seep into my bones, so I’m quite happy (and, frankly, relieved) to have a break from New York’s multiple snow storms and freezing temperatures with a trip to Phoenix for the annual Southwest Leather Conference.

The Southwest Leather Conference focuses on merging leather sexuality with leather spirituality. Known by many as the “woo-woo” conference, it’s not one where you’d expect to find me, giving a keynote. I sure didn’t! But the producers did ask, they are friends, and I will be giving the Sunday brunch address.

Let’s remember: they asked for it.

In addition to the speech, I am presenting my ever-popular protocol workshop, and, in keeping with the theme of the Conference, I will also present a special workshop on the leather-themed Passover seder that my wife and I created, over 10 years ago. Avadim Hayeinu, which is Hebrew for Once We Were Slaves, is our entirely kosher Passover seder, with a heavy emphasis on the themes of slavery and freedom, taken from rabbinical sources. (Is anyone surprised that my spiritual identity comes with nearly 5,000 years of back-up documentation?)

After a week home, I’ll then be headed to the Midwest for Winter Wickedness, in Columbus, Ohio. I am offering two of my newer workshops here: The Marketplace as a Model, and The Revenge of the Middle Aged Guard. But mostly I’m looking forward to the event itself: this is the first time I’m attending Winter Wickedness, and I’ve heard great things about it.

(They want me to keynote here, too. When will you people learn?!)

Warm up with a wiseass in NYC

2011-01-06T11:03:00.000-05:00

On Thursday, January 13th, I'm visiting one of my favorite stores in Manhattan, Purple Passion and offering a workshop that's bound to make you laugh - and we all know that laughing warms you up on a cold winter's day!

Creative Disobedience: The Art of Being a Wiseass.
Mention SAMs or brats in the scene, and you’ll get either glees or groans, depending on your tolerance for antagonistic scenes and your level of formal dominance & submission. But there is a creative challenge to being just disobedient enough to entertain, divert, and involve a top in playful reactions ranging from a laugh to lighthearted punishment. Learn the basics of what it takes to walk that very fine line between being annoying or amusing; whiny or whimsical.
The begins at 7:00, workshop is $20, and you can preregister at the Purple Passion website.

New review of Cinema Erotica, aka The Catalyst

2010-12-28T14:21:00.000-05:00

This review made me smile - I think of The Catalyst, (now titled Cinema Erotica) my first short story collection, as my sweetest, most innocent work, aimed at beginners and sooo non-threatening. And here it's called "rather disturbing" and "shocking!" I am sure some people would feel upset by this, but I am thrilled. I am sure this will sell more copies, LOL.

By the way, this collection actually contains the first appearance of FIVE characters who appear in the Marketplace novels. If you know which ones, you have a sharp eye and are a SUPERFAN. And - if you tell me so before Jan 31, 2011, I will give you a FREE e-book - either The Marketplace or The Slave - and that will include the bonus story written for that specific book.

So comment here with your answers or guesses. And whoever names them all - or, failing that, whoever names the MOST - will get the free e-book!

Laura

My one Christmas story!

2010-12-24T10:32:00.002-05:00

From an old Circlet Press advent, here again is Ho, Fucking Ho, my one Christmas story! Enjoy!

2010-12-04T09:19:00.000-05:00

Happy holidays to all my fans!

Whatever you may celebrate this time of year, it's often a gift-giving time - and what better to give than a new book? The new edition of THE SLAVE (Book Two in the Marketplace series) will be released this month, and available as a trade paperback or an e-book. Why not buy the first two Marketplace novels for someone you love?

If you live in the NYC area, you can buy the books personally from me at one of these upcoming events:

On Sunday, December 12th, I'll be at Instigate, a queer & trans-led monthly event at the LGBT Center. I will be presenting one of my favorite workshops, Too Kinky For Words: Playing Way Off The Edge. It should be great fun! I'll also have limited, pre-publication editions of THE SLAVE available for $25, as well as Book One, THE MARKETPLACE, for $20. You can also bring your old copies of my books - I'm always delighted to autograph a well-loved book for you. The event is open to all.

If listening to erotic stories sounds like a great way to stay warm this season, join me on Thursday, December 16th, when I participate in the last of the "In The Flesh" erotic reading series, curated by the fabulous erotic author/editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. Other readers include memoirists Nancy Balbirer (Take Your Shirt Off and Cry), Stephen Markley (Publish This Book), and Michele Carlo (Fish Out of Agua), burlesque performer GiGi La Femme (Revealed, Wassabasco), photographer Seth Kushner, In The Flesh alum Samara O'Shea (Note to Self, For the Love of Letters), Lambda Literary Award winner Rakesh Satyal (Blue Boy) and romance novelist Kama Spice (Sehra's Honor). The reading will take place at the Happy Ending Lounge on the Lower East Side. (Look for the hot pink awning that says "XIE HE Health Club.") There will be books for sale, and free cupcakes!

Another great gift idea is to pre-register for my workshop at Purple Passion on Thursday, January 13th at 7:00 p.m. I'll be presenting Creative Disobedience: The Art of Being a Wiseass as part of their educational series. You know you have someone in your life who deserves to attend this fun class!

Also, if you want a signed copy of The Marketplace, or perhaps a copy of the limited, pre-publication edition of The Slave (while they last) or the when-these-run-out-they're-gone-forever copies of The Catalyst and Other Stories - my only comprehensive short story and essay collection, never to be published in one book again - you can order them directly from me. Send me an e-mail at Laura (at) lantoniou.com and tell me which books you want. When I confirm the availability, I will tell you how much to send to me via Paypal/money order/gift check. Books sent by Priority Mail must be ordered - and confirmed with payment! - before December 19.

And finally, remember that I do have a Cafe Press store! Come on, you know someone who NEEDS a Middle Aged Guard t-shirt, a "I love service" coffee mug or "I love to serve" doggie bowl. Not to mention a few more of you out there could be letting people know they need to be grown ups to do the things we do. Tell 'em with my "You need to be this tall to ride this ride" sweatshirt. Or express your affection for that short dude with the huge ego, and tell the world to just wait because it might get better...all you need is Patience.

Have a happy and healthy holiday season, and remember: books - and book related clothing and coffee mugs - make great gifts!

Laura

PS: You know I have a wish list, right? (Huge grin)

Waking up at the Armory

2010-11-20T12:51:00.000-05:00

Staying here is a surreal experience; between the extravagance of the Upper Floor rooms and the specialty sets on the different floors, it's like walking into an unfinished novel, with characters flitting in and out of the doors. "Hi!" says a cute girl, standing next to me. "I'm on your book!"

Hell, she's practically on my lap! To which I have no objection, except that many of the women at the party are wearing nothing or close to nothing, while am head to foot clothed and still shivering. I suppose this helps with keeping nipples hard, but still.

Last time I was here, I consulted on the formation of The Upper Floor, Peter Ackworth's ambitious attempt at providing a domain dedicated to dominance/submission/service & slavery, with a neo-Edwardian flavor. There was one almost finished room and a half-plan for both construction and development of the concept. Since then, the space has expanded to several luxuriously equipped and furnished rooms, a cast of dozens, and still more ambitious plans to expand coverage of some of the storylines to 24/7, with talent living on the premises in special slave quarters.

Yeah, you know this appeals to me.

What you might not know is that the new covers for the Marketplace books are all being shot here, on the Upper Floor. Madison Young, performer, artist, gallery owner, teacher and talent wrangler, (and soon to be Mommy) has gotten some wonderful people together to get dressed up - or undressed, as the case may be, and pose as characters in my books. Seriously, how cool is that?? Famed bondage rigger Lochai has been taking the shots styled by Madison and for once, it's a gang of perverts actually making a product for our community. I am honored by their participation and energized by the synergy we create. Next up, we plan the covers for The Trainer and The Academy.

So that's why Madison planned last nights party, and that was how the talented Chloe and Wolf wound up recreating the infamous Sharon & Jack scene from The Marketplace. Complete with hay bales, thank you very much! It was just amazing to watch people enact something I'd written. Now I understand the attraction to writing scripts. Whew! Hot stuff.

Afterward, I answered some questions from the chat room opened during the shoot and live stream, and signed some books. Today I am meeting with the publisher of Sizzler e-books, where my collection of gay male smut, Shop Stud, is being distributed. Later on tonight, I will be at the Femina Potens Gallery, reading The Man With the Phoenix Tattoo, my new Chris Parker story - and I will have books to sell as well.

Checking in at the Armory

2010-11-18T23:56:00.000-05:00

At long last, I am back at the amazing Kink.com headquarters at the San Francisco Armory! Got a quick little updated tour so i could see how much the place has grown since I was last here and it is just delightful - fun and sexy and mind blowing. I can't wait for a better tour tomorrow, and then the hot, hot party tomorrow evening, featuring performers actually acting out a scene from The Marketplace!

People will be able to watch tomorrow night at this link.

More when I have had some sleep. The sinus headache I started the day with was killed by massive antihistamines, but wow, those pills plus a 6 hour plane ride and I am one tired pornographer. And I want to be alert tomorrow for my Harry Potter outing before the Femina Potens/Kink.com party...

Rare San Francisco visit in November!

2010-11-06T12:02:00.000-04:00

I'm thrilled to be returning to San Francisco this month, celebrating the re-release of The Slave, reading from my latest work, and launching a new workshop.

Join me on Friday night, November 19, as a featured guest of Femina Potens, which is celebrating my book release with a BDSM Play Party. Described as "an evening of black-tie debauchery," this fabulous party will include the recreation of a scene from The Marketplace, performed for your entertainment and delicious delight. Bring your tux and your flogger. Note: you must be a member of Femina Potens to attend! Join here!

I'm also delighted to participate in Femina Potens' monthly SIZZLE, the Bay Area award-winning literary erotica series. SIZZLE's Cupcakes and Kink will take place Saturday, November 20th at 8:00 p.m.

I’ll return to Femina Potens for two workshops on Sunday, November 21st. The first workshop is a premiere: Don't Dream It; Be It – Fantasies and Role-play for the Shy:

Let’s face it – role playing does not come naturally to everyone! But if you’ve always wanted to try it, are ready to expand your repertoire, or are unsure how to fulfill a partners fantasy, this is the way to begin. Explore fantasy archetypes, linear and freeform story telling, flirting and signaling while in role, and other basic concepts for making the fantasy just a little more real. Then we’ll go into things like setting, costumes, props and even supporting cast. Come prepared to share, even if it has to be anonymously!

Don't Dream It; Be It is a class intended for an audience that might not already be part of the alt-sex/kinky world, but who are the sexually adventurous, the curious and the open minded. The class takes place Sunday, November 21st at 3:00 p.m. Click here to pre-register.

The second workshop is an audience favorite: Your Own Good: Using Punishment in SM Relationships:

For Your Own Good is intended for people who are familiar with the kinky/SM world, and dominant/submissive relationships. The class takes place Sunday, November 21st at 6:00 p.m. Click here to pre-register.

I won't be returning to Bay Area until Spring of 2011, when Midori and I will be presenting our Passionate Bonds weekend, so I hope to see many of you there!

And just in case you are inclined to magical children, Karen and I are going to see the new Harry Potter movie on Friday the 19th in San Fran, at the AMC Loews Metreon 16, the 1:30 show. Buy your own tickets in advance and meet us at the theatre at 12:30; geekery shall ensue!

In which I succumb to the cute

2010-10-11T06:15:00.000-04:00

Look, I wasn't coming all the way to Australia and not even seeing a damn koala or kangaroo. So even though I did avoid going to the amazing looking zoo on Wednesday, it was only because I was planning for a field trip to Featherdale.

It was Katrina who tossed me in the car that day. We'd met before, in the US, and it was great chatting with her at The Gathering. Paul, one of my hosts, had mentioned that at Featherdale Wildlife park, one can actually get up close and personal with the local versions of All Things Warm and Fuzzy, and once I learned I could actually *touch* a koala, forget it. I would have hitchhiked.

Taking the local tour was better, though. (Grin) We drove to the outlaying suburbs of Sydney and literally saw the first sign for this intimate little park about, oh, 100 yards from the entrance. It's smack in the middle of a neighborhood with single family homes and lawns and convenience stores; you can drive right by without noticing. Great Adventure, it's not!

But within three minutes of entering, I was face to face with a snoozing koala; in another ten, another one, a bit more awake, kept pulling eucalyptus leaves in front of us while Katrina tried to grab a steady photo.

OMG, the cute!! he was quite soft to touch and had dark brown eyes and, well, quite the appetite for the leaves, which I had once heard make them tipsy. This is apparently not true. But they do tend to prefer napping during a long day of entertaining tourists. They wedge themselves into the branches in what seem like occasionally unstable, if not uncomfortable positions and lord, they are dead cute. I had to be dragged away.

I mean, come on. It's not fair.

OK, then the kangaroos came over for a snack. They were also a tad blase about the tourists and could easily escape contact with toddlers and obnoxious people trying to get the right picture by merely hopping under the wooden fence understood to be their safety barrier. Of course, they could come back out again for an ice cream cone fulled with Roo-chow.

And just for you, Zil - I searched out the wombats. Here is a Southern Hairy-Nosed variety. They, like the koalas, believe the day is for napping and couldn't be bothered to pose.

Did I mention I had a blast? There were hundreds of birds, too, including the quite startling cassowary!

Featherdale was a perfect size for a nice morning outing, and it was great to get up close and personal with the various critters. We followed this visit with a nice drive up to the Blue Mountains, which several people felt obliged to apologize for, as though being an American, I naturally only appreciate giant pointy mountains with snow on top. But with views like this, I don't think there's anything to apologize for.

That's the Three Sisters formation. Pretty cool, huh?

After recovering from the vertigo, Katrina swept me off to the Paragon Cafe, a gorgeous art deco establishment in Katoomba, where I restored my energy with some tea. Sadly, the camera was dead at that point, or I'd include shots from inside the place, which was gorgeous.

Then back down the mountains we drove, with one quick stop at the roadside Ugg Boot stand - nah, didn't buy any - and made it back to the city in time for my reading. Amazingly, I hadn't bought a single souvenir all day!

So naturally, Courtney, who I'd met at the barbecue the previous night, brought me a whole BAG of great Australia keepsakes - including a stuffed koala. Obviously, I was meant to bring one home.

No, I haven't been taken by the dingos

2010-10-11T03:06:00.000-04:00

I've just been busy! The reading/Marketplace Maven workshop in Sydney was a smashing success, largest gathering for that workshop ever. I read from The Inheritor and a bit from one of the new bonus short stories, shared the codex, pictures of the fantasy MP movie cast, and lots of insider information. Many thanks to Courtney, who brought me a whole BAG of Aussie souvenirs, including a stuffed koala, boomerang and kitchen aids. I was totally chuffed.

But before that last night of work in Sydney, I got to go on two personal tours - one led by Robin, who I've known online for many years. She picked me up in her Peugeot and ran me through some Sydney neighborhoods (stopping for coffee) where I admired the Imperial, the place where Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, was filmed.

Moment of glee on behalf of the wife, who loves that movie.

A nice zip through the middle of town got me down Oxford Street (Oh, look - a homosexual!), past a slew of tourist attractions and over the Harbour Bridge Then we took a great drive North, stopping at different towns (like Dee Why) and beaches to hike a bit, admire the views, and have a pie.

Mmmm. Pie. Upper Crust pies are worth the drive.

Back down into the city, we detoured around to the Taronga Zoo, not to go, but to admire the views of Sydney Harbour from the ferry dock. And, I was forced to admire the sunburns on tourists who did not cover up appropriately under the fierce Australian sun. I will go back to the zoo one of these days, but since I had plans to go see wildlife the next day, we instead went back into the downtown area, where I got to have a glass of wine at the Opera House Bar. There, we met up with Jacq, who floated in to join us wearing a bright summer cocktail dress.

Did I mention great views at the Harbour area? Terrific views!

From there, I was kidnapped to Angela's for a barbecue of yummy things and the company of a bunch of wild local women. I got to admire a collection of dictionaries and relax and not be on stage for an evening, which was a much needed respite, actually. After I ran out of steam, my hostess pressed a beautiful piece of original art on me, which I am delighted to bring home.

A terrific day, so much nicer than my usual day in another city! (grin) And best of all, I had yet another day of relaxing planned before I was due back on stage. Sheer luxury.

Recovery day catch up

2010-10-04T20:17:00.000-04:00

Whew! The Gathering came to a wonderful, happy conclusion, and I have a few days of liberty time to recover and see a bit more of my surroundings.

Much to my shock, about 100 people showed up Monday morning for bacon sandwiches and my closing address. I had to throw out my original speech, and for the first time, delivered one almost entirely off the cuff. Oddly, no one seemed to notice or care - note to self. Hmmm.

I got back to my host home yesterday afternoon, sat in the sun with coffee and had some quiet chatting time, napped, then went out for a solitary walk down Norton Street in the evening. I stopped in at Shearer's Bookstore and picked up Colleen McCullough's Song of Troy, which I've wanted for a while. Then they surprised me by giving me a free book! Apparently there is a program called Get Reading! that provides these books in order to promote reading and Australian authors. Although the program ended on September 30, apparently some stores still had some of the promotional give-away volume and I lucked out by getting 10 Short Stories You Must read in 2010. And damn if it isn't a fine collection! What a nice treat. I read a bit while enjoying a coffee in the bookstore cafe. Ahh, quiet time.

Naturally I collapsed last night after I got back and slept deeply. Four classes, a speech, a party and a lot of book signing does take a bit of energy. Today is laundry, reading, making this post, doing QUIET things.

But tomorrow, I am being whisked off on a tour from an online buddy of longtime acquaintance. And a barbecue!! Yay! Thursday is another little bit of a trip, so I can pet the local critters and take a peek at the Blue Mountain area. Then we'll run back to a city area gay bar to my reading and MP Maven discussion at 7PM. I know the Uber page says Tuesday. But it's Thursday, and only ten bucks for people who attended The Gathering. Of course there will be more books there for sale.

Friday, Dee and I take off for Melbourne! I wish I could stay longer, but for this trip, a quick weekend will have to do. I'm thrilled to be able to stop by Chains and meet the lovely people there, and will be giving FIVE, count 'em, FIVE classes in two days. And that includes two I have never given before! We'll have books, yadda-yadda. And then when I get back to Sydney, I will have a few more days to poke about and maybe connect with more friendly natives.

Then, wow, I am going to New Zealand. Sadly, the conference scheduled had to be postponed because of the earthquake that hit Christchurch. But I will be doing a much scaled down appearance, and taking advantage of just being here. I mean, this is a long way to travel without even taking a PEEK at NZ. I am looking forward to down time, maybe some writing time. And sheep. I understand I might see a sheep or two...

Summer in Australia, my arse

2010-10-02T17:07:00.000-04:00

Since I've gotten here, I have been pretty much chilled. The week before leaving, the weather in Sydney was beautiful - sunny, warm, the advent of summer! Right now, I am gazing out the window at pouring rain and pondering purchasing a wool sweater. Ahh, well! At least I don't feel like such an idiot for leaving the bathing suit at home...

So far, The Gathering has been a phenomenal success. With upwards of 200 people flocking in for the vendor night, the full weekend registration option or the VERY clever and should-be-copied-in-the-US availability to purchase just four classes out of the weekend - a sort of do-it-yourself mini-conference - this has become, or will soon become with tonight's big play party, the largest non-gay fetish event Australia has ever had. Miss Dee, the organizer and my host for this trip, deserves massive kudos for bringing it all together with the help of a dedicated and delightful staff.

But numbers don't say it all, of course - there are huge events where I feel like on the whole I'd rather be home reorganizing my spice shelf. The vibe here has been truly excellent - warm and friendly, interesting and energizing. It's not that often I feel like hanging out between my gigs and chatting with the attendees - I am better known for escaping to my hotel room for quiet time and Advil. This...has truly been fun.

Yesterday, I did manage to get out of the hotel for a little while, though, and wandered down to the Market City, which is a few blocks away. I was curious about what was UNDER the building though - a giant flea market/vending space called Paddy's, which was exactly the sort of vibe I was looking for. Individual stalls with everything from wonderfully cheap and tacky souvenirs to some pretty decent bargains on life's essentials like socks and batteries. I am sure I saw maybe...one fifth of the place? I was rushing through to look at warm layering items and a certain special present for someone at home. I fully intend to go back, though. I was able to get some lovely chicken satay on a stick while browsing and came back to the event feeling energized. Is this me? Social, shopping and energized?? Very weird. Apparently, Sydney agrees with me.

In addition to hanging out and chatting with the locals, I've managed to snag a few local dates to see more of the area, including a trip to a wildlife park - Featherdale. I totally want to hold a koala bear. Sue me. You know you'd want to, too.

File Under:
Things that remind me I am on another continent -the slang. I mean, of course, the local accents, duh. But the slang and idioms sometimes throw me and make me grin like a maniac. A jimmy hat? Love it.
Things that are the same - cheap Chinese food in Chinatown is always better than anything in a mall.
Something I didn't think I would need but would have proved useful - knowing how to use one of those damn international phone cards, the kind you buy at convenience stores. I spent at least 20 minutes looking at the rules and guidelines and restrictions and instructions on at least a dozen different cards, carefully chose the one I thought would work for what I wanted and keep getting a "this call cannot be connected" message. Makes me feel like an idiot. I mean, how hard should this be?
Cheap souvenir of the day - I decline to mention.

Doing what I came here for

2010-10-01T17:12:00.000-04:00

Note - some links in this post are not safe for work and shy people. More tourist level things will come later!

I wrote this now from the Mercure Hotel in Sydney, where I have a room overlooking the Central bus station and the balcony on which many festive Gathering folks relaxed and schmoozed during what can only be called a very successful opening.

How nice to see so many new faces, and to wander a vendor market stocked with items I've never seen! I was really impressed with the quality of items for sale and display and loved the friendly folks from MaxxxBlack, Sydney's big fetish/sex shop. Naturally, the one thing I decided I liked was $150. *sigh* It's something to add to the wish list, I suppose...

No, you can't know what it is, unless you want to buy me a present.

Anyway, I got to spend the evening with the lovely Madison Young, of the Femina Potens Gallery in San Francisco. What most of my readers don't know - yet - is that Madison was the art director for the new cover for The Marketplace, gathering some of her friends and models over at the Armory, home of Kink.com, where I was honored to attend the opening of their Upper Floor.

The full story on the photo shoots will still come, but in the mean time, I will go once again to the City By The Bay and do some appearances with Madison, both at Kink.com and teach some classes at the gallery in November! The full schedule will be posted soon at my main website and the usual areas, including here.

But in the mean time, we schmoozed and chatted and met some fabulous folks from the Sydney and various outlying areas including a few we'd both met before, in the States. Well, sure, that was bound to happen! But the best part was just seeing so many brand new faces. Really, I love my peeps back home, but we see each other all the time. Fresh blood is nice!

After an evening selling and signing books and making dates to see koala bears (more on that later, too) I wandered out into the local Chinatown, because I was starving! Luckily, living in Flushing, I am completely comfortable shoving past the numbed tourists into the hole-in-the-wall joint with the best smells, pointing at what I want and grabbing the tray to get out of their way. Tasty crispy chicken with lemon, mmmm.

Today, I am teaching two classes, one at the impossible hour of 9:30. I woke early, panicking that no one would like me - why yes, sometimes that does happen, ego or not - and am almost back to my normal self. I hope to get out to do some walking around today and tomorrow, since I am conveniently in the downtown area. Yesterday was mostly orienting myself and doing a little shopping.

File Under:
Things that remind me I am on another continent - the "look to the right" reminders painted on the street to help people like me look at where the actual moving traffic will come from.
Things that are the same - McDonalds - my first sighting! Although they do have a Big Mac with FOUR beef patties on it. Also, KFC, Seven-11, K-Mart and Target.
Something I didn't think I would need but would have proved useful - more long sleeves. I'm freaking freezing.
Cheap souvenir of the day - Calvin Klein boxers, 2 for 8 bucks. Eeee!!

Dingo ate me Tuesday

2010-09-30T03:54:00.000-04:00

This is where my blog returns to its first purpose - a travel journal. I write this from Sydney, Australia, where I am teaching classes, reading from The Inheritor, and meeting charming people who probably have no idea how much I am a sucker for their accents.

And, I am still on the hunt for good coffee. Nescafe is again, everywhere! It's like a worldwide conspiracy to deprive people of decent caffeine. Luckily, I am staying in Leichhardt, the Little Italy of Sydney. Espresso EVERYWHERE. Glee!

Of course, I must note that my hosts have graciously given me free rein with the use of their cute espresso maker, the French press and I remembered that Australia, with its connection with Great Britain, has excellent access to cheap, great tea.

I will survive, after all.

But somewhere between leaving NY at 8:30am on Monday, I arrived here at 8:30AM on Wednesday...and Tuesday is just gone. (Thus - no Glee. Heehee.) Of course, in all that time I managed to visit Toronto and Vancouver, watch two movies and episode of True Blood, two cooking shows and about an hour of the CBC, read two entire books, 4 newspapers, 3 magazines and an inflight catalog. I enjoyed the temporary hospitality of a premium lounge at the Toronto airport by purchasing a day pass and highly recommend this for extended layovers or those times when you get to the airport hours before you get to actually leave it.

Tomorrow my hosts and I will move from this comfy home into the Mercure hotel, home of The Gathering for this weekend. I've posted my schedule before, just scroll down if you really want to see it again. This is where I am grateful that I flew in early and lost that Tuesday, because I have had the time to sleep and wake at the local time, walk around in the sunshine, and generally acclimate.

File under:
Things that remind me I am on another continent - trees and birds I have never seen before.
Things that are the same - pigeons and Subway.
Something I didn't think I wanted but now looks useful - a Kindle. Or, an iPad. But probably a Kindle.
Cheap souvenir of the day - Port Wine Jello

The Down Under schedule!

2010-09-22T12:09:00.000-04:00

That's right, I'm taking my show on the road to Australia and New Zealand!

Thanks to Miss Dee of Über in Sydney, I am visiting Australia and doing a number of events in Sydney and Melbourne. Then, with the help of the folks who bring you Southern Exposure, I'll "jump the ditch" and head to Christchurch, New Zealand. (A day-by-day breakdown of the entire visit at the end of this post, or click on the calendar to the right for more details!)

Find me at The Gathering in Sydney October 1-4, a marvelous kinkfest where I'll be presenting four workshops (my two service workshops - one for tops and one for bottoms, my protocol workshop and "Too Kinky For Words"), and giving the closing keynote.

Tuesday, October 7th, I'll be presenting my "Marketplace Mavens" discussion in Sydney's Inner West at 7:00 pm. The evening is a favorite for die-hard Marketplace fans and a great way for newcomers to learn about my series, hear me read from a new work - and possibly win a free copy! Cost is $25 and once you book your reservation, you'll be given the location.

I'll then head to Melbourne for the weekend, where you can find me at Vibe on Smith on Saturday, October 9 and Sunday October 10 for a series of workshops. If you're interested in the fabulous world of fetishes and kink, how to use punishment in your Master/slave relationships, or more, join me! Cost to attend each workshop is $30 and online registration is available through Über.

While in Melbourne, I'll stop by Melbourne Chains for a reading and booksigning. The event takes place Saturday evening, October 9th and begins at 7:30p.m. If you already have copies of my books - bring them! I love autographing well-thumbed books. If you don't have a copy - I'll bring some of the new edition of The Marketplace with me. Contact Melbourne Chains for more information.

After a few days off (unless fans talk me into additional readings in other locations, that is), I'll head to New Zealand for the weekend of October 22-24th. For my Kiwi fans, you know this was supposed to be the weekend of Southern Exposure. However, Christchurch is still recovering from the September 4th earthquake, and the conference (sadly, but safely) has been cancelled. But I'm not one to waste an international ticket! You'll still find me in Christchurch at Tawse Manor, presenting three classes and a reading for a Labour Weekend Intensive! Registration costs depend on whether you intend to spend the night or just want a day pass. Please contact info@tawsemanor.co.nz for information and to register.

APPEARANCES BY DATE & LOCATION

SYDNEY OCTOBER 1-4: THE GATHERING

Saturday, October 2, 9:30-11:30 - "Providing Service"

Saturday, October 2, 2:15-4:15 - "Managing Service"

Sunday, October 3, 10:00-11:30 - "Too Kinky for Words"

Sunday, October 3, 2:15-4:15 - "The Way Of It"

Monday, October 4, 12:30 - Closing Keynote

SYDNEY: TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7th

7:00-9:00 - "Marketplace Mavens" . Cost is $25. Register here.

MELBOURNE WEEKEND OCTOBER 9-10

October 9, 1:00-2:30 - "The Fabulous World of Fetishes." $30. Register here.

October 9, 3:00-4:30 - "The Life of a Pleasure Slave." $30. Register here.

October 9, 7:30-9:00: Booksigning and Reading at Melbourne Chains.

October 10, 11:15-12:45 - "For Your Own Good." $30. Register here.

October 10, 1:30-3:00 - "The Way of It." $30. Register here.

CHRISTCHURCH - TAWSE MANOR OCTOBER 23-24

October 23 - "Have a Cookie! Using Rewards in your SM Relationships"

October 23 - "For Your Own Good: Using Punishments in your SM Relationships"

Email info@tawsemanor.co.nz to register

October 24 - "Too Kinky For Words" and a Reading (location TBA).

Cost is $35 for this day if you have not registered for the TAWSE MANOR LABOUR WEEKEND INSTENSIVE, but size is limited, and preference given to weekend registrants. Email info@tawsemanor.co.nz for more information and to register

Please tell your friends in the Lands Down Under about my tour - I'd love to meet them. Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie Oi Oi Oi!

My male/male erotic fiction!

2010-09-12T10:49:00.001-04:00

As promised, here is the first re-release of some of my guy/guy smut, now under my real name. If you own Steam Gauge or The Catalyst and Other Stories, then you might have seen these before. But if not, I hope you enjoy!

Shop Stud, by Laura Antoniou, writing as Christopher Morgan

Please help spread the word - tweet, blog, or otherwise help me promote? Thanks so much!!

Laura

Why yes, I am he.

2010-09-07T11:35:00.002-04:00

Now the second boot drops.

In addition to The Catalyst, I am also working out agreements to bring back into print two more books, one a novel and the other an anthology - and neither of these has been published under my name before.

See, back when I wrote them, women were not generally allowed to publish gay male porn under their real names.

Yet - we wrote a LOT of it. TONS of it. Filled magazines, digests and anthologies and then websites. I even edited a magazine called Bad Boy. My agent for those short story sales was a woman. Women edited - and continue to edit many gay male publications and websites. It was just understood that no gay man would EVER buy smut written by a girl - ewwww, cooties! - and no one else would ever read gay male stories.

Certainly not, oh...straight women, for example. Or lesbians, for that matter. Let alone polymorphous perverts. (Grin)

Funny how these understandings change over time. Now, MM erotic fiction is probably MOSTLY bought by straight women, and many men buy their reading material based on, oh, the story, or the cover art, rather than the name on it. And some don't even mind if it's written by a woman. We're in a new age, for sure.

So, I allowed myself to be convinced by two sharp editors to bring back into distribution two works of mine, written under the name Christopher Morgan.

(Doesn't Christopher Morgan sound manly, yet accessible? Very boy-next-door, I thought.)

Anyway, the first one out will probably be *Shop Stud & Other Tales*, a collection of some of my gay male short fiction. There is some SM in it, but tons of vanilla, LOL. Most of the stories were written for those little digest sized magazines with names like Country Boy and College Boy and City Boy and Just Boys, OK? (My memory might be a bit fuzzy on the titles.)

The second release will be Musclebound, the first novel I ever wrote. It is a brutal tale of sex and abuse set in a gym. And from my new introduction...

"It won’t surprise too many of my readers that I have written vast amounts of gay smut, especially of they have read my more far reaching erotic works, where I do my best to throw in something for everyone. It might surprise a few at how this brutal tale of pumped up bodies and punishing sex became the first book of mine ever mentioned in academia.

No less a figure than Will Roscoe, one of the major voices in gay men’s spirituality in the United States, anthropologist and winner of the Margaret Mead Award, devoted a neat chapter to Muscle Bound in his book Queer Spirits (Beacon Press, 1995.)

In this chapter, Roscoe seems delighted to find a little porn novel that fulfills the requirements of a mythic story; he writes about his my hero Tom relates to the story villain with “fear and attraction based on a sense of lack, (that) all too often characterizes how we as gay men relate to our fathers.” He talks about the “initiatory themes” of the sex scenes, and how Tom grows with the transformation of his body, “a common feature of tribal rites.” He mentions Divine Twins, Rabelais, liberation and subject-SUBJECT relationships.

Here is where I reveal my years of study of literature, anthropology, sociology, sexuality and, well, the mythic archetype. Here is where I admit that when faced with completing my first novel, I decided I couldn’t mess it up if I just told The Story, of innocence to experience, ordeal to triumph, blah, blah. That it had brutal, sweaty gay sex was beside the point. I knew what I was writing. And here, this guy saw it and wrote about it, probably never dreaming this story was written by 1) a woman, and 2) an academic drop out with too much useless information to sit around and not use it from time to time. I was delighted. I was amused.

And I couldn’t TELL anyone!"

Now, I am telling you. I am coming out of the closet as a gay male pornographer. Surprise! Are there more pseudonyms hiding in my past? Well, yes. But not covering an entire genre.

Both of these books will start out as e-books, and then we shall see if there is an interest in making print-on-demand versions. I will have links and purchasing information as soon as the publishers do that voodoo they do.

Laura

Older books coming back into distribution!

2010-09-02T13:01:00.000-04:00

And I don't mean the Marketplace books! of course, I am still on track with Circlet Press, as The Slave is being prepped for the e-book and print edition re-release next month, and The Trainer to follow that.

I mean some old stuff some of you might not even know I wrote.

My first book for Masquerade, a long, long time ago - OK, 1992 - was The Catalyst. It was sort of SM smut for beginners - a series of short stories all linked by one concept. An incredibly kinky movie inspires a diverse set of people to all run home and experiment with alt-sex and play. Since everyone was doing it for the first time, I got to play with how people negotiate - or don't - how they create fantasy scenarios - or don't - how they carefully prepare - or don't! Committed couples, a swinging foursome, a hook up or two, gay, straight, triads, different genders and dominance choices, light-hearted to almost relationship-ending - I really worked the angle as far as I could back then. There is a distinct - and noticeable, for me - lack of trans characters. I, um, made up for that later.

I always thought of The Catalyst as my lightest work, a cute concept burdened with predictable and somewhat bland sex scenes. Yet, I gave nods to it in the Marketplace series, by moving one character into a significant role in the books, and mentioning two others in passing.

And I have to admit - the book has its fans. Its RABID fans. I still hear from people who swear it's their favorite of my works. And it got some nice reviews! (Although I am always puzzled by the amazon.com reviewer who complains that it is "everything is about sex." Um...yeah. Gee, pick up a work of porn and I almost guarantee it will be about sex, at least a little.) But Blowfish wrote of it,

"A kinky art movie inspires the audience members — het and queer — to try some SM play of their own. Different from much SM smut in that it depicts actual consensual SM scenes between just plain folks rather than wild impossible fantasies, “The Catalyst” is both sweet-natured and nastily perverse. The “why don’t we give this kinky stuff a try” tone is a true delight.”

It was reprinted along with a bunch of other short stories and essays by Mystic Rose, in a collection titled The Catalyst and Other Works, which you can still find here and there online, until they sell out. And then they will be gone!

However, I am working now to bring it back into circulation as - an e-book! No contract has been signed - yet. But It looks really good.

And there's MORE. Yep - I am coming out of the closet and exposing one of my pseudonyms. Look here and at the usual places I post for that update later on!

Laura

Circlet Press LJ chat going on now!

2010-08-17T12:41:00.001-04:00

There's an author chat going on NOW at the Circlet Press Livejournal page!

So, please, go over to the Circlet LJ page and join in the conversation - in fact, you might BE the conversation, people are notoriously shy about author chats for some reason. I promise I won't snipe at you. In fact, I will give out a present. People to chat there will be eligible to win a free e-book - just for posting responses!

And, it's a no-holds-barred chance to ask ANY question you might have about the Marketplace books, even some spoiler questions.

Plus, you will keep me from talking to myself. That sort of thing is just embarrassing.

Laura

Oh, yeah. It's an adult-only discussion, so you might have to click an extra button to get included. Not that I am gonna get too graphic - until tomorrow, that is. If I get THREE posts today, there will be some hot sex tomorrow. (grin)

Oh, and by the way? The Marketplace is now available as an actual, hold-it-in-your-hands print-edition book at Amazon.com and other fine online bookstores. Woo-hoo! I will also be signing copies of it at Floating World this weekend, in New Jersey.

New classes, booking for 2011

2010-08-10T16:17:00.000-04:00

I made up a new list of classes and workshops, including some nice, friendly ones for the not-necessarily already-kinky crowd. If your group, event or business is interested in booking me for 2011, please drop me a line at Laura (at) lantoniou (dot) com

If you are within 200 miles of NY, it's possible I can slip something into September, November or December of this year. If you are in Australia, I will be there in October and am looking for some local gigs as well. (I will be based in Sydney, so outside of that city will need travel expenses.)

I depend on my friends & fans to help get these bookings for me through personal recommendations. Thank you so much for stepping up when you can and I hope to see you while I am on the road!

My recent Toronto trip

2010-08-06T12:24:00.000-04:00

Whew! It was a long trip, but worth every second.
This was the second time Midori and I did Passionate Bonds, our three day DS intensive. Imagine the typical 90-minute workshop with either of us and now figure on three days of BOTH of us together. This is where we don't have to wrap everything up in soundbites and allow 15 minutes for questions, ya know? We close the registration to a small number of dedicated people and really put it all out there for participants to do the work needed to create a reality-based, DS flavored life.
And once again, the folks who put their butts in the chairs also bared their fears, doubts and dreams, discussed their fantasies and realities and I think we all came through it knowing more than when we started. Once again, I was amazed at the range of "types" who came - partners with pre-existing protocols and agendas, solo participants who came to learn more about themselves, and those who wondered if anything about "protocols" was going to be useful to them at all. Experience ranged from a few years to whole adult lives, and the age range was broad as well.
It's not a fun and games weekend, that's for sure. It ain't cheap, either, not in time or money. But I firmly believe that of all the things we can invest in, our relationships are the most valuable. You can buy a nice leather jacket and a whip and a pair of cuffs for about a thousand bucks. You can buy a weekend at a leather contest or fetish ball for about the same. And with either one of those you can sure meet someone, you can play with someone, and you can look sharp! But my passion is in what happens next.
There are always classes on how to torment people, how to polish boots, how to make someone happy sexually. But in the end, the only thing that matters to me is, are we having good and healthy relationships with our partners, experiencing joy and creating happy memories, for as long as everyone is happy? Do we remember why we hooked up, beyond the clothing, the play, the freshness of the latest shiny thing?
That's what Passionate Bods is about, for the DS crowd, whether they do it for fun on the weekends or want to make it a relationship. And once again, we found reality and passion can mingle and match. My thanks to everyone who attended and made it possible.
Next time - the west coast of the US maybe? We're looking into it!
After Passionate Bonds, I was honored to be the first guest speaker for a new group in Toronto, Perspectives on Power Over 30 people showed up and we rocked a class on advanced service topics. Darren, the organizer of PoP, was my host while I was in the city, and it was great to be able to amble over to the local dungeon and meet some kinksters!
Then, because my final class had to be canceled, I got some of my Toronto friends to ask around and we had a lovely stealth reading, where the new story for The Slave got its first public outing - plus a bonus scene from The Inheritor! I am liking these stealth readings - they are fun, impromptu and create a nice little moment for a small number of people. I do also love to read my stuff out loud. (Grin)
I'm home at last, catching up on e-mails and other messages and trying to get into making up some new classes and booking some travel for next year. I hope some of you can join me at upcoming events out on Long Island and in New Jersey!
Laura
lantoniou.com is the best place for updated lists of appearances and news

Two classes in Toronto

2010-07-25T08:47:00.002-04:00

If you can't make it to (and through!) the intense, 3-day class Midori and I are doing on making your SM relationship all it can be, then consider a nice short class on another topic in one of my favorite cities!

Service Development – Making Yourself Ready to be Useful
Monday, August 2
2PM – 4pm
Renegade (www.renegadeonline.ca)
1266 Queen Street West, Toronto
$20 in advance, $30 at the door
email perspectivesinpower@gmail.com for details

When you are ready to go from “I’d like to” to “I will,” when you’ve moved beyond “whatever you like” to being sure about what you’re capable of offering, this class on service is for you. Laura will discuss the service resume, the butler book, the art of offering, and more. The workshop will also include an interactive discussion on what to do to prepare yourself, specific things to learn and how to find them, tips on what to do when the Top says “I don’t know” and when to ask for help and from who.

Advanced registration is available by emailing perspectivesonpower@gmail.com or tracking down Darren at a local event. Only those who have paid in full will be eligible for the $20 price.

Tell me What You Want, What You Really, REALLY Want
With Laura Antoniou
Often, when we try to tell our partners what we like or want, those words are filtered through things like expectations, projection, fear, shame and verbal shortcuts. Expand your creativity and verbal skills beyond “I like flogging” or ” anything you want” through an interactive game and exercise. Learn how creative communication and courageous risk-taking can make your relationship and play more intimate, satisfying and fun. Say what you mean, and mean what you say – and make it flirtatious and seductive!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010, 7:30 – 9:30pm (People of all genders welcome.)
Where: Come As You Are
Cost:$30/person (Sliding Scale Available)
http://www.comeasyouare.com

If anyone in Toronto can make themselves available to help an author on her own in the city, drop me a line at Laura at lantoniou dot com I could use rides, maybe a tour, maybe come company for dinner?

Upcoming appearances with new updates!

2010-07-05T12:26:00.000-04:00

Upcoming appearances – with the latest updates!
THUNDER IN THE MOUNTAINS
July 16-18
Denver, CO
www.thunderinthemountains.com
I’m thrilled to return to what is one of my favorite leather events in the country. I’m teaching two workshops: “Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want” and “Inconceivable! When What You Thought Would Never Happen….Happens!”

PASSIONATE BONDS
July 30-August 1
Toronto, ONT
http://fhp-inc.com/classdetails.php?id=120
My friend (and internationally acclaimed educator) Midori and I have been teaming up to co-teach an intensive, weekend-long class designed for real people who enjoy power dynamics and want to have quality relationships that suit their hungers and needs. This weekend will include lectures, group discussions and exercises, with time for reflection and time for pure fun. We have developed a unique curriculum that will help you design a protocol and relationship dynamic that fits you and your relationship needs. For the folks who find that a 90-minute workshop doesn’t give them all they want, this weekend is for you. To register, visit the site above. And don’t forget – if you’d like us to bring this weekend event to your community, contact us for details.

Service Development – Making Yourself Ready to be Useful
Monday, August 2
2PM – 4pm
Renegade (www.renegadeonline.ca)
1266 Queen Street West, Toronto
$20 in advance, $30 at the door
email perspectivesinpower@gmail.com for details
When you are ready to go from “I’d like to” to “I will,” when you’ve moved beyond “whatever you like” to being sure about what you’re capable of offering, this class on service is for you. Laura will discuss the service resume, the butler book, the art of offering, and more. The workshop will also include an interactive discussion on what to do to prepare yourself, specific things to learn and how to find them, tips on what to do when the Top says “I don’t know” and when to ask for help and from who.
Advanced registration is available by emailing perspectivesonpower@gmail.com or tracking down Darren at a local event. Only those who have paid in full will be eligible for the $20 price.

Come As You Are
August 3
Toronto, Canada
http://www.comeasyouare.com
Tell me What You Want, What You Really, REALLY Want
What You Really, Really Want
With Laura Antoniou
Often, when we try to tell our partners what we like or want, those words are filtered through things like expectations, projection, fear, shame and verbal shortcuts. Expand your creativity and verbal skills beyond “I like flogging” or ” anything you want” through an interactive game and exercise. Learn how creative communication and courageous risk-taking can make your relationship and play more intimate, satisfying and fun. Say what you mean, and mean what you say – and make it flirtatious and seductive!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010, 7:30 – 9:30pm (People of all genders welcome.)
Where: Come As You Are
Cost:$30/person (Sliding Scale Available)

LONG ISLAND LEATHER & ROSES
August 10
Brentwood, NY
http://www.lilnr.org/
“Far, far from the skylines of Manhattan, where the roads stretch dark and twisted like squid ink fettichini, there, where no public transportation enables you to go, there, in the chain of towns all ending in –bay or –port, live the sub-urban people.” –The Little Urban Maid by Laura Antoniou
Yes, I’m headed to the wilds of Long Island for to read from my upcoming Marketplace novel, “The Inheritor.” All are welcome, but there is a small fee for non-members.

FLOATING WORLD
August 20-22
Edison, NJ
http://floatingworld.dreamhosters.com/web/
A lot of folks have wanted me to come to this huge convention of erotic, sexual pleasure. I’ll be presenting two workshops: Creative Disobedience (The Art of Being a Wiseass) and The Way of It (Designing and Maintaining Your Personal Protocol).

OCTOBER – AUSTRALIA & NEW ZEALAND
Yep, I’m going to the lands of the Ozzies and the Kiwis. I have two definite appearances, and room for more if you’re interested in hiring me to come to your part of the Land Down Under.

THE GATHERING
October 1-4
Sydney, Australia
http://www.regonline.com.au/builder/site/Default.aspx?eventid=849933
I’m honored to be keynoting this BDSM event on my first trip to Australia. I’ll also be presenting some classes, which will be announced shortly.

SOUTHERN EXPOSURE
October 22-25
Christchurch, New Zealand
http://southernexposure.gen.nz/home.html
Those Kiwis sure know how to keep a butch busy! I’ll be presenting four workshops at this fabulous event: The Way Of It (Establishing and Maintaining Protocol Within Relationships), For Your Own Good (Using Punishments in Your SM Relationships), Have a Cookie (Using Rewards in Your SM Relationship) and Too Kinky for Words: Playing Way Off The Edge.

Get yer e-books here!

2010-06-29T12:51:00.000-04:00

The Marketplace is now an e-book!!

Upcoming travels

2010-06-25T13:15:00.002-04:00

Happy summer! I am celebrating the re-release of the Marketplace series (yes, available on your favorite e-book reader beginning this July!), I will be traveling to promote my books and offer the usual array of sick, perverted workshops for groups around the world.

Here’s where you can find me in the upcoming year. And of course, if you want to bring me to your community, contact me to discuss costs.

TES FEST

July 2-5

Piscataway, NJ

www.tesfest.org

Not only will I actually show up at TES FEST this year, I’ll be signing books & I’m auctioning off a private reading in the Celebrity Auction on Saturday night! Be there and buy me at auction /grins.

THUNDER IN THE MOUNTAINS

July 16-18

Denver, CO

www.thunderinthemountains.com

I’m thrilled to return to what is one of my favorite leather events in the country. I’m teaching two workshops: "Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want" and "Inconceivable! When What You Thought Would Never Happen....Happens!"

PASSIONATE BONDS

July 30-August 1

Toronto, ONT

http://fhp-inc.com/classdetails.php?id=120

My friend (and internationally acclaimed educator) Midori and I have been teaming up to co-teach an intensive, weekend-long class designed for real people who enjoy power dynamics and want to have quality relationships that suit their hungers and needs. This weekend will include lectures, group discussions and exercises, with time for reflection and time for pure fun. We have developed a unique curriculum that will help you design a protocol and relationship dynamic that fits you and your relationship needs. For the folks who find that a 90-minute workshop doesn’t give them all they want, this weekend is for you. To register, visit the site above. And don’t forget – if you’d like us to bring this weekend event to your community, contact us for details.

LONG ISLAND LEATHER & ROSES

August 10

Brentwood, NY

http://www.lilnr.org/

“Far, far from the skylines of Manhattan, where the roads stretch dark and twisted like squid ink fettichini, there, where no public transportation enables you to go, there, in the chain of towns all ending in –bay or –port, live the sub-urban people.” –The Little Urban Maid by Laura Antoniou

Yes, I’m headed to the wilds of Long Island for to read from my upcoming Marketplace novel, “The Inheritor.” All are welcome, but there is a small fee for non-members.

FLOATING WORLD

August 20-22

Edison, NJ

http://floatingworld.dreamhosters.com/web/

A lot of folks have wanted me to come to this huge convention of erotic, sexual pleasure. I’ll be presenting two workshops: Creative Disobedience (The Art of Being a Wiseass) and The Way of It (Designing and Maintaining Your Personal Protocol).

OCTOBER – AUSTRALIA & NEW ZEALAND

Yep, I’m going to the lands of the Ozzies and the Kiwis. I have two definite appearances, and room for more if you’re interested in hiring me to come to your part of the Land Down Under.

THE GATHERING

October 1-4

Sydney, Australia

http://www.regonline.com.au/builder/site/Default.aspx?eventid=849933

I’m honored to be keynoting this BDSM event on my first trip to Australia. I’ll also be presenting some classes, which will be announced shortly.

SOUTHERN EXPOSURE

October 22-25

Christchurch, New Zealand

http://southernexposure.gen.nz/home.html

Those Kiwis sure know how to keep a butch busy! I’ll be presenting four workshops at this fabulous event: The Way Of It (Establishing and Maintaining Protocol Within Relationships), For Your Own Good (Using Punishments in Your SM Relationships), Have a Cookie (Using Rewards in Your SM Relationship) and Too Kinky for Words: Playing Way Off The Edge.

Passionate Bonds in Toronto, July 30 - August 1

2010-06-17T16:22:00.000-04:00

Tired of searching for the ultimate guide to your D/s or SM relationship?
Do you want to make your BDSM relationship the best it can be for you and your partners?

Join Marketplace author Laura Antoniou and internationally acclaimed educator Midori for a special weekend intensive designed for real people who enjoy power dynamics and want to have quality relationships that suit their hungers and needs.

Learn about the many styles of relationships we enjoy and discover the hidden and vital aspects of your own special way. You will be guided through a special curriculum designed to clearly identify your value system, behavior preferences and relationship goals.

Participants will develop insights to help them get what they want in current and future relationships. This unique curriculum will provide the tools for each individual or relationship unit to create their own customized manual of effective protocol, rules, etiquettes and codes of conducts. The instructors work closely with each student through out each step.

This weekend will include lectures, group discussions and exercises, with time for reflection and time for pure fun.

While experience or current D/s relationship is not necessary, students must be prepared for hard but fulfilling work. Sincerity, willingness to communicate and full participation is required.

Open to anyone with an orientation or a strong interest for a relationship which includes some variation and expression of power exchange or dominance and submission. Any experience level welcome. The weekend is excellent for those in current relationship or domestic units of 2 or more people. It is also highly effective for those who are not currently in relationship but wish have clear visions, goals and structure in place for future
relationships.
= = =

Class size will be strictly limited to allow for a unique quality experience emphasizing individualized attention.

Join Marketplace author Laura Antoniou and educator Midori for a special weekend intensive designed for people who enjoy authentic power dynamics and D/s, who want to consciously create quality relationships that suit their personal hungers and needs in the context of the real world.

Through the unique curriculum and its innovative tools, each individual or relationship unit will create their own customized manual of effective protocol, rules, etiquettes and codes of conduct.

Q&A

Q. Do I need to bring a partner?
A. No! Anyone may attend, partnered or not.

Q. My primary and I have a submissive - can all three of us come?
A. Pricing for this intensive is purposefully set to allow for "relationship units" of every size; this is by no means 'couples only'!

Q. I am fairly new and my partner and I are exploring options. Is this for me?
A. This is perfect for you; come on in and discover your passions.

Q. I have been in the Scene for a while. Can this be helpful for me?
A. Absolutely. Come and reacquaint yourself with the dreams and desires that brought you into the scene, and find out things about yourself and your partner(s) you might not have seen before.

Q. Will there be opportunities to play?
A. Passionate Bonds weekends are held in cities where there are local play spaces. We encourage you to create your own playtime as part of a great weekend experience.
Q. Does this include lodging and meals?
A. The tuition does not include lodging and meals. There will be coffee, tea, soda and snacks available through out the instruction.
Q. What's a Relational Unit?
A. That's the term we use to refer to people coming together to construct a D/s relationship. We recognize that this is not limited to couples and many forms of relationship geometry exist. We also use this term to avoid labels as each D/s relationship uses special terms for their structure and titles.

The new look for the MP series

2010-06-16T11:43:00.000-04:00

It's becoming real again! E-book, then available again through your favorite online booksellers as a print-on-demand title.

Nice, huh? The story of how the images are being made for the series will be coming...

International Mr. leather

2010-06-11T15:24:00.000-04:00

“…here at International Ms. Leather I am going to propose something astonishingly insensitive considering the venue.

When Chuck Renslow came up with the idea for the first Mr. Gold Coast contest, which was to become the International Mr. Leather Contest, it was not to create a leader in the leather community. It was not to elect a speaker, a historian, a figure of responsibility and public consumption. It wasn’t even to be able to parade a bunch of hot guys around the bar. It was to sell beer. The contest was a distraction, an enticement, a spectacle to get guys to settle in for a while and spend money and time at the bar.

It’s been 30 years now. I put it to you as gently as someone like me can…isn’t it time we moved past popularity contests and put infotainment in the right place? The new titleholder doesn’t need the permission or cheers of the community to do any of the basic things I outlined for anyone here to do. You all, as individuals, do not need a sash or a panel of judges to grant you the ability to learn, grow, make change and question authority. I put it to you; if the energy gathered here for a weekend were spent on just making a happy space for leatherwomen and their allies to come and connect, to spend some money and make some money, to teach and learn, to entertain and be entertained, would that be so bad? Could the barely functioning system of contests change instead to something celebrating achievements of other kinds? Where are our business leaders, our philanthropists, our social workers and teachers and librarians?…”

That’s me up there – in a speech I made at IMsL in 2008. I’d already given up judging contests for several years before that, disenchanted with the process and the results. But since Glenda Rider, (executive producer, IMsL) is a personal friend, I agreed to make the speech at her event, figuring what the hell; might as well bell the cat.

Then two years later, I found myself judging International MR. Leather. Which was, by the way, a blast. Here is that story.

There’s a vast difference between the women’s and men’s leather contest worlds. Many people don’t know that for the first round of International Ms. Leather winners, bankruptcy followed their title year. Travel funds? They were lucky to get a prize basket. Sponsorships? Beer companies and official airlines were – and remain – unfound. Regional contests were few and far between, and many were actually designed to create a “winner” who would go compete at IMsL the next MONTH. Way back in 1992, I actually produced a leather contest that was designed to be after IMsL so that my winner had a year to serve in her local title before moving on compete in a national one. I was told I was insane for doing that – no one would want to be a titleholder for two years running.

Women’s contests do not get the money, the crowds, or the community support that the men’s contests do – and sometimes, that’s damn little. I can’t remember how many times I was present for a contest (any contest, men/women/couples/etc.) where the contestants were recruited the week (or the day!) before the event, so they would have “someone” running. And of course, many of those last minute recruits went on to win, some by default.

And then there were times when I did judge a contest with a decent array of contestants only to find I hoped no one would win. The lesser of two evils might have been a relief for some of those torturous events, where I really wanted a “none of the above” option on my paperwork. And really, who hasn’t known a titleholder who just made you wonder what on earth the judges had been sniffing the night they vetted that moron/asshole/team of delusional nitwits. For every outstanding leader type of person on the leather title circuit there seemed to be at least a dozen pretty boys/girls in borrowed fetish gear, and leather community green belts who thought they knew it all after doing it online for the past two years. Add to this the number of titleholders who burned out and left the scene after their title tours, and it was easy to just decline invitations and focus on my teaching activities instead.

And then Chuck called.

And that makes a difference.

Just as when Glenda called, I said yes, so I said yes to Chuck Renslow. And not because he’s a personal friend – Chuck and I have met maybe a dozen times over the years, and he did come to a reading I did once. But come on, it’s Chuck Renslow. For all its dysfunction, our leather scene exists partly because of this man. The very image of a leatherman is iconic because he helped make it so. As I said many times to those who asked why I was doing this – I owe Chuck. When he calls, I go.

I could also argue about how IML is in fact the largest, best supported leather pageant in the world, that the winners do tend to be well supported by the community and there is no dearth of contestants, etcetera, but really, those are rationalizations, not reasons. My reason was to pay my karmic debt to Chuck.

Frankly, I didn’t expect much. Fifty gorgeous men in leather clothing answering questions about sex and politics and then strutting their stuff – that’s what I expected. I already knew that many of them would not actually be into SM, let alone DS relationships. I already knew asking them about the last book they read or which leatherwoman they admired would probably be a mistake. (I can’t tell you how many contestants I have seen who actually told me they NEVER read books. NEVER. I gave up asking that question.) I was fairly comfortable knowing most of them would have never heard of me, let alone read my books – after all, there was less of a chance for them to try to schmooze me. I expected to get pleasantly dazed by eye candy, enjoy a good show, and see some old friends.

And what do you know, I wound up being a bystander to history. I had a fun time. And ultimately? I still believe our community can spend much of our contest driven money, energy and focus on better things. Especially the women’s leather scene. Glenda is working hard to make IMsL the kind of tourist attraction/extravaganza IML is, and if anyone has a chance of doing it, she will. But when a local community needs to beg people three days before a contest to run, when the winner has to beg for basic support like a travel fund and event scholarships, and basically has to work FOR their title instead of working their title for something else, when improper people win because there isn’t anyone better who wants to submit to the system, hell yeah, there are better uses for our time and money.

And about that history thing.

I am a harsh judge. (Ask anyone who every invited me to be on a panel.) I’ve read and heard some scuttlebutt on the selection of Mr. Tyler McCormick as IML and let me say this, without revealing any privileged information I am sworn to keep secret. No, I did not lobby my fellow judges to pick him because he’s FTM; in fact, there was no lobbying of any sort among the judges. Neither did I give him high scores for that reason – every score I gave out that weekend was earned by each individual man, and there were some damn impressive men in that top twenty, some of whom got higher scores from me in their different fields. The assertion “he was only picked because he’s disabled” is frankly stupid as shit, since, duh, he is not the first disabled contestant and wasn’t the only one in this year’s contestant gang. I even read that some people believe his walking out to deliver his 90 second speech was some sort of trick, as though someone who uses a wheelchair should never be able to walk, like it’s some zero sum ability challenge.

I’ll say what I thought about walking out, Tyler – that was some good stagecraft. And after witnessing dozens of titleholders whose speaking and stage presence was poor at best and distressing at worst, I appreciate a good show. One thing about Mr. McCormick was that every time I saw him, he had a surprise for me. That’s entertainment.

There were prettier men. And men with bigger dicks, no doubt. There were men with better fetish gear and men with excellent community service resumes. All in all, it was pleasant to find that I had dramatically overestimated the percentage of pretty-boys-in-borrowed-leather in the IML class of 2010. But when the numbers came out, I must say I was very pleased that my fellow judges sorted out this particular man in the top slot. “They’re gonna blame this on you,” a friend said to me afterwards. Oh, I certainly hope so. But it’s not true at all.

Does this mean I am going back to judging contests? Not necessarily. For one, I can’t afford it – judges spend days working and are not paid for it. I don’t owe vast karmic debts to too many other people organizing contests, so I think I am fairly well excluded from most invites. I am comfortable with that. IML was a unique experience; it allowed me to recall my early days in the leather scene and connect with some fine men, and yes, I even got to see some old friends. But my passion remains with writing, teaching, facilitating workshops and poking at my most beloved/maligned community, the DS folks.

So, congratulations to Tyler and his brothers, and a hearty shout out to my fellow judges and our team of handlers. Chuck – you put on a great show. As a once in a lifetime experience, I am glad I got to participate, disgruntled outsider or not.

Where I've been

2010-02-22T10:23:00.001-05:00

Some of you might have noticed I have been less chatty and less “around” since sometime in the middle of 2009. Now that I am starting my travel schedule for 2010 and almost back into a regular life again, I figured I’d better let you know what has been going on, so when you see me on the road, you recognize me.

Six months ago, I had a surgeon rearrange my guts. Extreme body modification; a procedure called the RNY, a form of bariatric surgery. The reasons I did this are varied; no, I wasn’t in terrible health, and absolutely no, I wasn’t pining away to be a size 8. (Or any particular size for that matter.) But it did occur to me, after years of hearing it from doctors and years of watching personal friends and family members struggle with weight related health issues, that if someone told me at age 55 I needed to lose 100 pounds or suffer a life threatening condition, I would regret not doing it at an earlier age, when my ability to recover would have been better.

So, I did it.

I've lost a total of 95 pounds since last July; 75 of it post surgery. I am...nearly unrecognizable, at least to myself.

I have not only fulfilled a silly goal of fitting into Levi's 501s again, I have had to downsize them - a pair I bought in December is already loose on me. I lost about 8, 9 inches around my waist; since I never measured anywhere else, I have no idea, but there are times when I look at my new neck and think it's downright scrawny. Other than my boots, I have no leather or fetish gear that fits. I found an old suede vest I bought in High School - complete with the Wilson's label - that I used to wear when I went out to the old Hellfire/Vault? It was already too small on me then; I removed the buttons to pretend it was like a bar vest.

If it had buttons now, it would close. Naturally, this is the year I am judging IML and I have NO LEATHER. I will be doing a general call for donations and loaner items sometime in April when I know what size I will be. (Right now I am 16, edging to 14.)

So, that's how my SIZE has changed. Naturally, tons of people have told me how much better I look, blah, bah, but I expected this. It's not like that many people you are friendly with will often say things like, "Jeeze, Laurie, you're a fucking whale, lose some weight," - or at least, saying such a thing would have taken them off my friends list fast anyway. But now, everyone feels free to tell me how much *better* I look. Well, I was prepared for that, and I try not to be too snarky with people who mean well.

How I feel has changed, too. I no longer get winded at a two block walk, or one flight of stairs. On the other hand, my stamina and leg strength still haven't recovered as much as I'd like. I often go to sleep at ten pm and if I need to bend my knees way down to pick something up, it is sometimes iffy whether I can get back up without something to hold onto. I no longer have daily back aches, and for some reason my doctors cannot explain, I have not had a single migraine since I left the hospital. (All we can figure was that maybe they were triggered by sugar.) This has been the coldest winter of my life and it has nothing to do with the temperature - I have lost my padding!

Things I have taken for granted for years have changed. I fit in public seating - on airplanes, not only can the arms come down and the seat belt get fastened without the extender - but I have ROOM. I shop in regular stores, in the regular departments. One size fits most? I am now "most." The magic word "medium" has taken over my very limited wardrobe. I walk faster. I had to learn not to buy clothing bigger than I was, but to buy it to fit me. Weird, weird, weird.

But it's not all tweeting birdies and hearts and flowers. My recovery was rough. No, that's an understatement, my recovery sucked rotten donkey cock. I didn't eat for - literally - weeks. I survived on water, sugarless popsicles, chicken broth. (And occasionally, avgolemeno soup, when Karen could find a diner that made it.) I threw up constantly; had no energy for months, no drive, no interest in living. There were times when I literally was losing a pound a day; where it was going was a mystery. I fell prey to something called "hibernation syndrome" in such a classic way I get embarrassed when I read the description of it online. I was re-hospitalized once, with a plummeting potassium level and all sorts of nutritional deficiencies. (And for a really amazing experience in pain, try taking a couple of bags of potassium through an IV. At one point I screamed at some poor doctor, “Isn’t this a HOSPITAL? Can I get a fucking TYLENOL?”) But eventually, they set me right, sent me home and sometime in late November, after a trip to Toronto, the corner turned and I began to finally heal,

I visited my surgeon yesterday and got the news that I am right on track. I should lose another 10-20 pounds and then see if my body is done with that. I expect to then put about half of that back, and reach what he calls a maintenance weight; a comfortable and healthy place to stop and try to eat sensibly and continue to exercise, well, for the rest of my life. I take a multi-vitamin, iron, calcium and B-12 daily. I gave up my muscle relaxers (for spasms I no longer get), my migraine and back pills. I've also given up sugar- I am a big fan of cooking with Splenda when I need to. I am no longer addicted to caffeine - giving it up for so long has left me with the ability to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning with no withdrawal symptoms if I forget to or choose not to. That's weird, too.

I can eat almost anywhere I like, as long as I am careful. The amount I eat looks ridiculous - I have learned to hide how little I eat when out with people who don't know. Mostly, people don't notice, and when they do, they often supply their own story. One guy who saw me picking the sandwich filling out of a Subway 6-inch, asked, "Oh, are you doing Atkins, or some kind of low-carb thing?" Easier to say yes! It does take a lot of thought and planning to have the right food around; but I have some of my favorite foods, like nice cheeses and roast beef and great stews. The oddest thing is craving a salad - since I now have to eat protein first, always protein - a salad of lettuce, tomatoes and assorted other good things like that is NOT on my approved list! They say maybe in a month or two, IF I am otherwise getting my meat, fish, dairy, eggs and/or beans, I can try a salad as something more than garnish.

Pasta is still a very small part of my eating plan, as is rice and bread-like foods. The thin sliced diet breads seem suddenly very tasty to me - and when I go crazy and make myself a sandwich out of one slice and the proteins of my choice I can usually manage two bites. Then I give in and eat the fillings. It's a weird way to eat, but I am used to it now. I don't miss sugared things at all, which is sad because I now have a shelf full of no sugar jello and pudding boxes.

So...do I regret it? Hell, no. True, it was a fucking AWFUL recovery, I wish that on no one. But there is no denying that I am already healthier now and stand to be healthier by a long shot come my one year anniversary. I sometimes walk up to 3 miles a day - that would have been impossible back last summer. My blood pressure, cholesterol, sugar levels - everything is absolutely normal, even on the healthier side of normal now. While they were not BAD per se when I went in to this - now I am much less worried about them getting worse as I got older.

For such a public person, some you know that I am really rather private, which is why I didn't talk about this on my blog and fetlife and facebook, etc, etc. I have zero interest in discussing it now; if I want therapy, I’ll do it privately, and if you want advice, see a doctor. I also don’t want congratulations – this is not something I did for approval. I’m just sharing because as I go back out and people see me and new publicity photos appear, I didn’t want you to think, OMG, wtf happened to Laura, is she dying?? No. In fact, I am getting back to living.

And, well, if you know anyone who has some spare leather in men's medium or women's size 16, could ya let me know? Sheesh...maybe I'll try some LATEX now that I will look less like the Michelin girl...

Holiday shopping and a last chance...

2009-12-10T13:38:00.001-05:00

OK, so I already pitched the Cafe Press stuff, (http://www.cafepress.com/lantoniou) that all remains the same. If you want timely delivery, order soon; I can't guarantee their shipping times.

But just a note for those of you who are big enough fans to follow this group and read what I write...

If *I* were *you* I would take advantage of the chance to buy any books I have in stock at my website. Because...well...it might be your last chance to get these editions.

Just saying.

Order now for Yule/Xmas/Solstice/New Year/etc. If the website is wonky, write to me directly at Laura@lantoniou.com and we'll work it out.

After "Passionate Bonds"

2009-12-01T13:06:00.001-05:00

I have to say, it was an amazing weekend.

I have always wanted a chance to really sit down with people and work on what it means to have a personal protocol at home. It's something I have a passion about (see the workshop title) and it's something I think can actually be so useful for those people attempting a more encompassing D/s relationship, something they can feel as an ongoing, exciting, real, nurturing and yes, sometimes very difficult and complicated way of life.

To be able to set aside so much time in privacy, without the distractions of 100 other workshops and a contest and a formal dinner and a vending space and a fashion show, and, and...

To be able to have the ability to break into small groups, to chat casually, to sit on the floor with lunch and tell stories, and then get up and continue the discussion. Not just 90 minutes of the basics, hurriedly presented, with maybe ten minutes of questions, but lots of questions, lots of comments and stories and "what if?" scenarios. The freedom to return to something we talked about the day before. The chance to revisit the same questions and see what might have changed.

Not to mention the fun of teaching with fetish-diva, sex rockstar and close-personal-friend Midori. We found that hey, we still like each other just fine and I had a wonderful time working with her and the student/participants to make a good atmosphere to create, question and expand relationship magic.

I sincerely hope some of the people who couldn't attend this time around will be able to consider the next one we plan! We have already started reaching out to different cities, doing research on where and when it might make sense to schedule the next. Because we will do it again, having learned a bit from our virgin experience.

Laura

Holiday shopping

2009-11-25T08:59:00.002-05:00

Just a reminder to get your orders in - for books, via my website, and assorted paraphernalia via my Cafe Press store. The books I have left include some limited first printings, and once they are gone, they are gone forever. And Cafe Press is offering free shipping on certain dates when you use their codes! There are also new *black* (and other colored) shirts with the "You Must Be This Tall..." logo on them. Oh...look, I have a pitch!

Hello, fans, friends and fellow holiday shoppers! This is a gentle reminder to get your orders in early for the best presents reflecting your style and preferences!

Get an "I (heart) to serve" doggie bowl for your favorite pet!

Sip your pumpkin spiced latte in an insulated travel mug with "Patience" on one side, reminding you not to kill the kids in the back seat as you battle your way through holiday traffic!

Confuse the relatives in your "I play Mandarin style" sweatshirt! They'll still be puzzling over it while you tackle them on the lawn and win the football game.

Attend your local SM club holiday party in your "Middle Aged Guard" t-shirt and let 'em know you were around before they were a tweet in their parent's eyes. Or a twitter. Or whatever those damn kids are doing now.

Shuck down to your "I (heart) service" undies to make that special someone giggle as they prepare to service you well and truly under the holiday candles.

From stocking stuffers to grab bag gifts to nice things to reward yourself for being extra naughty, this is a great time to support your local author and pick up a few goodies for Yule, Christmas, Hanukkah, the Solstice, Kwanzaa, Thanksgiving, the New Year, or just because you can't bother going to a mall.

The Official Laura Antoniou/Marketplace Store

Just FYI...there are shipping deals at Cafe Press.

November 30th (Cyber Monday) - Free economy shipping on orders of $60 or more with coupon code: MONDAYSHIP

December 7th - 9th - Free economy shipping on orders of $50 or more with coupon code: HOLIDAYSHIPS

Sex scenes and other thoughts

2009-10-28T10:45:00.004-04:00

Health issues have been what I am sure I will think of as a minor challenge in years to come. But when you are in the middle of things, it does tend to feel overwhelming, don't it? Fortunately, things seem to be looking up.

In the mean time, instead of telling you what I have been reading, here's a glimpse of the writing side of my life.

I have started again to work on The Inheritor. It's been in fits and spurts (see the first paragraph) but it has been so much on my mind that it occasionally interrupts my sleep. I'm working on chapter 14 now. I passed two of the hardest chapters I ever worked on in my entire life, one because of research and a desire to recreate a life story in 15 pages, and one because...it was just hard. You'll see it when it's done.

Part of the shift in my brain that says "time to write!" is a desire to revisit what I have written before. Some of it I do to make sure I am not contradicting myself. (Where did Chris say he did this? What was that girl's name? What year is this supposed to be anyway?) Part of it is to see what I left out - can I add this piece into the history here, or have I written myself into a corner again? And part of it now, is to see where and how I worked in the sex scenes when I had just so much other STUFF going on.

Yes, I admit it - I write porn and have to remind myself to put in the sex.

It's not that I'm a prude, and it's sure not that I find sex beside the point. But I have found that I no longer structure a book to frame the sex. When you look at my earliest works, it's clear that the entire outline was created to showcase a series of erotic encounters, from little moments to full-blown set pieces. Some of it was obvious - The Catalyst was basically a "sex scene per story" anthology. Some was more organic - training and histories in The Marketplace and The Slave. But since then, I have become much more story driven, rather than inspired by the "if I don't have another sex scene, my publisher will complain and my readers who don't give a shit about story will get bored and they won't buy the books and I'll miss the car payment."

These days, I have to admit, I don't care about readers who don't give a shit about story. There's a ton of free or cheap porn out there which is one sex scene followed by another.

For The Academy, Reunion and now The Inheritor, even though I still call myself a pornographer, I have to admit explicit sex scenes are simply taking the same place in the story as the sex scenes in any modern novel - thrillers, adventure books, and the sort of Jeffrey Archer-esque romances where wealthy people romp. In other words, I write novels in which the major characters do have sex - *and* they are sadomasochists, therefore the sex they have tends to be kinky. But the sex occurs to aid the story, not the other way around.

In a way, this is reminding me of a shift in the whole queer novel world. In the beginning, queer lit was either dark, deep and depressing or it was porn. The deep and depressing stuff occasionally found real publishers - the porn was pulp. Gay people read both, just to see themselves in print.

So, too, did the kinksters. Whether the lead character of the tale died at the end or it was nothing but a series of one encounter after another (each one ramping up the stakes, of course) we read what we could find.

Now, look at the collection of gay books out there and there isn't a single genre not represented. Romances? Check. Paranormal? Oh, yeah. Mysteries? OMG, yes. Tons of them. Action/adventure, political thriller, fantasy and science fiction, even religious tales, the gays have something for everyone.

Now, some of them will still have sex scenes; some of them more explicit than others. But the writers do not feel like they have to include the two standard tropes of the early days - a depressing ending where people get punished for being queer, OR some mechanical sex scenes just for the sake of showing that we have sex too.

I no longer read books about gay characters for personal affirmation. (OK, maybe I never did.) I read them because I like the author, the story, the genre. I enjoy knowing that the gay characters have partners and have sex, even when I don't read explicit descriptions of it. After all, I know a bit about what sex looks (and reads) like. I enjoy a good sex scene when it's written well and especially when it has something to do with the plot. But I like the assumption, in the story, that it's simply THERE, whether I see it or not.

I don't think the SM readership is quite ready for the SM themed book with no sex scenes, at least not yet. Nor am I really interested in writing one quite yet. But it has become much more important for me for my sex scenes to not just be a part of the story, but to show something necessary to the tale. Some of them will show the growth of a relationship; some will show how someone's life has evolved and changed since the last time the reader saw that character. Things like that come out naturally; when I write them I don't feel forced or bored.

My issue today is...how long will my story-driven readers wait for the next such scene? This is a complex book with some heavy issues in it. To interrupt the flow of what is a major story in order to toss in a sex scene, even if it does suit the story overall, seems awkward at best, insulting at most. As the pages stack up, I will continue to write as the story drives me, but this is a nagging thought in the back of my mind.

Someone sent over a muse?

2009-09-30T10:33:00.000-04:00

I wrote yesterday. Not the painful, one word at a time torture of - well, far too long - but simply paragraph after paragraph, until pages stacked up. The way I used to write.

Don't know what did it. Don't know why. But I am hoping to do the same today. If you have been out there thinking/praying/committing indescribable acts of sacrifice, saying "jeeze, whatever it takes, make her finish the damn next book!" thank you for the muse. I'll treat her well as long as she stays. I hope she likes Greek yogurt.

Reading by the bucket

2009-09-29T13:02:00.003-04:00

When I say I like long sagas, I am not kidding. (That's also why I write them.) It's always disappointing to me when a series seems to peter out under the weight of its own vast universe or the exhaustion of an author who just needs to crank out another formula book to make the payments on...well, whatever.

Rarely, a series seems to just enthrall me so much that I can't bear to read the final book. I put off reading Colleen McCullough's The October Horsebecause I dreaded the murder of Caesar. Finishing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallowswas painful, although I respected the vision of the author very much.

But as I am in a stage of recovery, I found reading the final two books in the Thomas Covenantseries *excruciating.* Just..wow. I could not take the relentless doom, gloom, confusion, frustration, impotence...the miasma of bad questions and bad answers and "hey, didn't we do this already?" scenes of artificial peril.

Now, a logical person would ask, why did I bother? Well, I first read the series as a teenager, and lemme tell you, the self-absorbed stubborn, rapist, anti-hero *leper* was about as aimed at a teenage audience as any other way to wail about how unfair the world is and how alone you are in a sea of pain. It was, in fact, the antidote to a spate of mild Tolkien rip-offs that filled the fantasy shelves at the time, lots of magic swords and dragons and unlikely teams of wiseass adventurers who were seeking the Golden McGuffin. Not that I minded those - but you know, candy is for snacking. And if you looked at my fantasy collection *now* you'd see very little from that time.

But I held onto the Covenant books, for two reasons. One was that I always felt I was not getting a complete picture of the story, I needed to know more, reason more, to be able to appreciate the full spectrum of the tale. After all, the first one was really good; the second and third not that bad, etc. What could I be missing? And two, his amazingly turgid language.

When I read Steven Donaldson, man, I need my dictionary handy. I like to think I have a pretty good working vocabulary and a better reading one, but whew, this guy wears me out. Reading a few days ago, I was amazed to find three words in ONE SENTENCE that I didn't know. In one sentence! Now sometimes, I look a word up and find it's a really cool word to know. Penumbra was one of those. (Lord Foul has one around his form as he becomes real.) I looked that up and thought, oh, that is a good word, I gotta use that somewhere. Things like that make me happy.

But there is a line between learning a new word, phrase or concept and feeling stupid. There's also a part of me that thinks, "couldn't you have just said the forest was dark and creepy? Just a thought."

So there I was, feeling ill and tired and slogging through this morass of cold, uncomfortable things - and I mean this, his main character is always cold, bathes in cold water, scrubs her wounded body with SAND, sleeps on slabs of rock...in 30,000 years, no one in the Land invented SOAP? Running water? The idea that maybe a bathtub closer to the fireplace might be warmer? I dunno, have they all been sitting around muttering cryptic, dire warnings to each other and forgetting to, maybe...write shit down?? Come up with a warmer outfit than a thin belted tunic? (Which everyone wears, regardless of weather.)

The Despiser doesn't have to ruin this world - it's stuck in a massive dysfunction already. (Hm. New thought. Maybe that's WHY he's so desperate to get out. The place IS a prison, of unimaginative, rigid, short-spoken people who wouldn't know a happy day if it came wrapped in rainbows and unicorns. People who never invent things, never grow, never question, and above all, never get freaking WARM. I'd be ready to destroy the Arch of Time myself after a few hundred thousand years like that.)

So...I couldn't do it. Couldn't finish the final book in the series. It has my place marked and I think I will put it on the shelf for a while, maybe hit it up one last time in the future. I still think there's something I am not getting. Or, maybe I am just not that teenager any more.

Blatant Commercial Message

2009-09-25T14:04:00.002-04:00

In today's Blatant Commercial Message, I would like to announce...

(drumroll)

The Official, Real, True, Total, Absolute, Fashion Statement of the YEAR...

The "You must be this tall to ride this ride" T-shirt!

And mug, sticker, post card, and assorted other sundries.
(Don't know what it means? Read my latest keynote speech.)

Available NOW at The ONLY Middle Aged Guard store in the WORLD!

*GASP! as you spot the very reasonable prices.
*CAVORT! when you pull on your rare mark of distinction.
*FLIRT! with the eager hordes who approach you with that basic come-fuck-me-now line, "Hey, where'd you get that cool t-shirt?"

And if you act NOW, you can see the ARRAY of STUNNING, AMUSING and did I mention RARE? shirts, sweatshirts, hoodies, mugs, greeting cards, posters and even teddy bears and pet bowls, available for YOU, the discerning consumer and knowledgeable insider.

JUST in time for HOLIDAY SHOPPING!

Gaze in AWE at new items with older designs - PLUS sizes! ORGANIC materials! MATERNITY sizes! Stylish drinking accessories!

Let people know who you are with your MIDDLE AGED GUARD hoodie; let them know who you crave as you announce you are LOOKING FOR CHRIS PARKER. Declare your love of service, or your exalted role as a true, lifestyle, etc. type. And most of all, SUPPORT your author, who needs some income occasionally.

This has been a commercial message from the Official Laura Antoniou Marketplace Cafe Press Store. Act now! The web is standing by.

I know it's been a while

2009-09-23T14:38:00.002-04:00

I've been out of commission a bit. But I am on the road to recovery, helped along by copious amounts of chicken soup and the wonders of modern pharmaceuticals.

Here's some quick catch up -

I keynoted and taught at Master Taino's Master/slave conference in DC. The speech is now available on their website! Just scroll to the bottom of my bio.

If you had intended to register for the weekend intensive class that Midori and I are teaching/leading, the time is now. The cut off for registration can be met in two ways very quickly - when we reach capacity, or when we decide there is not enough interest to sustain the class financially.

This really is a unique opportunity. Having just been at the Master/slave event in DC, I can't tell you how many people were frustrated by 90 minute classes in complex topics, 5-minute Q&A sessions, competing schedules, time spent in fun but ultimately non-relationship related activities like shows and auctions and festive meals. 12-16 hour days.

Here there will be no stages no shows, no auctions, no contests. After some general concepts are shared, the rest of the time will be about YOU; what do you want, what are your dreams, what are your limits and strengths? The things Midori and I water down (and occasionally dumb down) the things we gloss over or simplify can instead be sharpened, deepened, made applicable to you and your relationships. You will have the time and space to really talk about your triumphs and challenges with other people who want what you want - the best, most conscious, personal D/s relationship you can have, complete with goals and protocols that come from your desires.

So to remind you:

"Passionate Bonds: Weekend Intensive for Conscious D/s & Protocol"

2 Locations / Dates
November 6 – 8, Washington DC
November 27 – 29, Toronto, Canada

Registration is now open

I am still on Facebook, and have my own little corner on Fetlife. Friend me at either place according to your tastes and free time. Join my mafia.

I am still writing. I hope to pick up the pace soon, ideas are sort of crashing into each other in my brain.

I am aware that The Marketplace, The Academy and The Reunion are all currently very hard to find. I personally have many of the other books though, and you can get them from me via my website and I'll sign 'em. If anyone knows of a store that has stock in the harder to find volumes, please let me know so I can tell people who are looking for them. And yes, of course we are working on a way to get them back into print and distribution.

I am still reading, although I have been re-reading quite a bit, recently the entire Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. Including her concordance. Highly recommended, which might seem odd, as they look like a romance series, right? But add in time travel, feisty characters, travel, adventure, surgery, kidnapping, torture, and men in kilts...I like 'em a lot.

And since it was summer, I rounded things out with some Star Trek novels of light distinction and an old (1997) collection of violent porn called A Metropolitan slave Anthology, by jeb. Complete with illustrations by Beau. This is raw stuff; jeb has some strong fetishes and a weak writing styles, but I have to admit, sometimes that sort of "Plot? what plot? torture him some more!" format has its charm. But it reminded me of what fun their magazine was - back when there were porn and SM magazines that didn't look like catalogs for muscle milk products and/or very expensive clothing.

(No kidding, I actually thought a copy of Instigator was a recent protein supplement catalog I'd misplaced. Then I flipped it over.)

So anyway, I'm back and hope to be continuing to regain energy and focus.

A song for these troubled times

2009-08-21T12:02:00.003-04:00

For those of you without Facebook...yesterday I left a message reading "Laura Antoniou
would like a moratorium on the words Fascist, Nazi, Communist, Socialist and Marxist unless the person using the term can define what it means. Who's with me??"

In the comments, Tim Brough said, "Why not just make it all one word? SociafashaNazalisticmarxpialidocious!"

And then, Graydancer DID.

Put coffee down before listening, please!

Reading, writing, etc.

2009-08-05T11:50:00.003-04:00

It's no secret I've been crippled by an awful writers block for far too long. Part of it has been, no doubt, depression. Part has also been knowing I had to write something I knew was going to be painful. Amazing, sometimes, how involved I can get in my own story, to the point where I emotionally react to something *I planned and plotted* when it actually starts appearing in typed words. I suppose it's just ego, like laughing at my own jokes.

Well, that chapter is saved and I am on to the next. Now I get to see if I was really stalled because I didn't want to write those pages, or because I suck.

****

Meanwhile, my "to be read" shelf has seen some pretty major ups and downs. My recent birthday increased the size of that shelf quite nicely - thanks, Daddy! Plus, I have kept with my habit of re-reading alongside new books. Believe me, when I am without a book nearby, I am very unhappy.

I picked up Arslanfrom Paperbackswap because I read in a review that the military take over of the US is hammered home, so to speak, by the invader/dictator raping two teenagers in their school gym, a girl and a boy. This appealed to me in that "sick fuck" way, sort of a more explicit Red Dawnsort of thing. (We all have our guilty pleasures.) It was also highly reviewed. However, I found it...lackluster and dull. It actually went into the short sample of "books I never bothered to finish." I leafed through it a bit, but it completely lost my interest. One of the things that bothered me the most was how we are given almost no information how a third-world nation could so easily and quickly take over, well, the world, and why on earth their leader would park his ass in a small Midwestern town in order to annoy the locals. If it's because this is a parable about how human beings can suffer...nah, I can't even give it that. Dystopian stories can be so freaking EASY - come on, what's more fun than destroying a civilization? This one was a big yawner. Back to PBS it goes.

Now, on the other hand, Ellen Kushner's The Privilege of the Swordwas great fun. You might know her from NPR, by the way, she is the one whose soothing voice accompanies the show Sound and Spirit. (I only hear her by accident when I leave the alarm clock set over the weekend and wake up early on Sunday morning.) I didn't know she also wrote swashbucklers on the side - and this is just a grand little example of such a light, romantic tale. Nice culture, amusing characters and a great central heroine I grew to really enjoy. I'll be putting more of her work onto my wish list.

Another fairly new author for me is Mary Gentle, and the book I got, just for the back cover text, is Grunts. Hysterical, especially for those who have read their share of high fantasy. Everyone knows the story as told by the warriors for good, light, etc. But what of their massed foes, the classically huge army of brutal, tusked, ugly cannon fodder known as orcs? This was a laugh out loud and bother-my-loved-ones by reading out loud sort of book. No one comes off looking good in this tale, from the vicious orcs themselves to the cannibal-assassin halflings who get thrown in to handle the more subtle wetwork. And did I mention the dominatrix halfling? Orcball? Kinky, masochist, elven reporters from Warrior of Fortune magazine? (Read for the ads, of course.) This was great summer reading, and another author I will look for again, even though I wasn't that impressed by the last book I read by her, A Secret History: The Book Of Ash. #1

And in the realm of re-reading, I picked up the early Harry Potter books, mostly because I channel surfed past a few of the movies lately. I never realized that three props necessary for the penultimate book, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, appear first in book 2, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. When the Malfoys, père et fils, go to Borgin and Burke's shop of evilness, Malfoy the younger admires the hand of glory, Harry hides in the vanishing cabinet, and Hermione points at the cursed necklace.

I'd love to see her codex.

Logo contest reminder!

2009-07-07T09:32:00.001-04:00

Are you good at logo design? Midori and Laura Antoniou are looking for someone to design a simple, neat logo for our new weekend intensive, Passionate Bonds.

This special, limited registration class is intended to allow people involved or interested in D/S relationships to discover and create for themselves the optimal way of expressing and getting what they truly want. The themes of the classes and workshops include personal discovery, values, power dynamics and protocol.

Some advice and ideas:

It needs to include the words Passionate Bonds.
Don't make it too complex. See the Wikipedia article on logos for some information on what makes a good logo.
Stay away from well known BDSM symbolism - no leather pride flag, no little zen thingie, no handcuffs.
Ditto, no gothic visuals, cartoons, or cheap clip art.
Although color can be used, the logo should not depend on it; it must be acceptable in black and white.

The entries must be submitted as a scalable vector graphic in EPS format, and also as a JPG. All submitted work must be original and not based on any pre-existing design. Files may be sent to Laura@Lantoniou.com

The winning artist will get a handsome selection of autographed books from both presenters, including at least two first edition books (hand numbered) from the Marketplace series. Plus, you will get bragging rights and mitzvah points. And, if you intend to attend one of these events in the future, you will be fast-tracked past any waiting lists.

This contest ends at 11:30 PM, EST, July 31. These instructions may be announced, e-mailed, cross-posted and otherwise distributed at will.

Contest sponsors:
www.PlanetMidori.com
www.FHP-inc.com
www.lantoniou.com

Speaking of death...

2009-06-29T15:23:00.002-04:00

Two books that came off my "to read" shelf and were quickly enjoyed, both keepers. First was Mistress of the Art of Death, which I put off reading a while ago because it didn't suit my mood at the time. This time, I flew through it, basically finishing it in two days.

Historical mysteries are a favorite genre of mine - this one also had historical *medicine* which is another favorite. Now make the lead character a woman doctor-sleuth and give her a couple of decent companions and a rich background - it's a grand combination. Some fairly typical additions - the love-interest-who-starts-off-as-a-suspect, the nasty-obvious-suspect-who-didn't-do-it-but-we-hate-anyway, and it still entertained. I put the rest of the series on my wish list to investigate later.

And to match the Mistress of Death, who else, but the first Death Knight himself, Arthas? Warcraft novelizations have suffered from every sin of media novelization and then added some. First sin? Assume anyone reading the books is nine. Several of the books are SO simplistic, and so packed with stereotypes, cliches and very lame attempts at dialogue it made me want to go find the author and personally beat them about the head with a copy of The Hobbit. Bound in steel.

Second sin? Pay no attention to the source material OR be so slavishly devoted to it that anyone who has actually played the game would say..."But I know all of this!"

For example, Richard Knaak is one of the more prolific WOW hacks, and we are all the worse off for it. The man needs a thesaurus, fast. Every dragon is "a behemoth." Repeatedly. Knaak manages to disregard almost every aspect of magic in the actual games. His mages either perform tiny cantrips which manage to annoy the enemy, or they hurl huge fireballs. The spell mechanics of the game, which are ripe for plundering, are completely ignored. Knaak has no problem writing a gory scene of arms being ripped off or chests being torn open, but can't write a love scene without adolescent sniggering going on in the background.

I mean it, he really pissed me off in his depiction of the love triangle between three of the games uber-characters. We're talking the master of all the druids, the high priestess of the goddess of the night elves and a chief villian for over ten thousand years, and it reads like a junior high school drama. Complete with elbow nudging from supporting characters. I kept waiting for one of them to ask someone to pass a note. (Malfurian to Tyrande: Do u like me? Y or N?)

Naturally, to Knaak fell the task of writing one of the biggest epics of the Warcraft storyline. It's enough to make me ponder the wisdom in writing adult fiction. Maybe I should have gone into gaming novels.

Anyhoo, Arthas: Rise of the Lich Kingis written by Christie Golden, who has written Ravenloft and Star Wars novels. She wrote two previous Warcraft titles, Lord of the Clansand Rise of the Horde. Lord of the Clans was problematic because of a weakness in the source material, but I found the writing pretty good. Rise of the Horde was better. Arthas would be her first foray into writing about the Alliance, and I was more than curious to see whether the sympathy she obviously had for the Horde would flavor her Alliance characterizations.

I think this is the best Warcraft book yet. Naturally, that doesn't say much - it's still a genre inside a genre. Its limitations are pretty clear, and for this one, it is absolute devotion of the source material. Almost every cut scene from the games is here in text, for example. But for some reason, this didn't annoy me - possibly because these scenes have become part and parcel of the story of Arthas. We need to see him waving his men away from trying to save the young Jaina Proudmore as she blasts her way through the Plaguelands. The friendly confidence he had in her and her magical powers were not only scene setters - they indicated the level of trust and affection between the characters.

But about half way through the book, I began to look forward to spotting in-game references. Even certain lines one hears from famous characters come to life here; for once, Sylvanas makes sense when she asks, "What are we, but slaves to this torment?"

Golden walked the line between devotion and creativity quite successfully for my taste. Her characters sound more realistic than they ever have in previous novelizations, and the slow deterioration of Arthas' morality is a satisfying glimpse into a descent into panic, fear, and ultimately, madness. She even managed to add new elements into his story which, importantly, not only do not contradict established lore but actually make it deeper and richer. That is what a good novelization does; that is what an author brings to the table.

My only regret was that the complete story could not be told in one volume. The book itself was also handsomely name, cloth bound with a striking dustcover. Well worth it for Warcraft fans - unlikely to win many fans who come to it cold, though.

But I'll tell you this - it made me want to make a new death knight, just to interact with Arthas in game again.

Summer reading without any sign of summer

2009-06-23T10:42:00.002-04:00

Something like 18 of the past 22 days have been gray, rainy and gloomy. And oddly enough for someone who does not like to go out much, I get very cranky when spring and summer come by and I do not get enough sun. Maybe that's why my summer reading spree started with those Harry Dresden books; it was my way of demanding the weather fit my reading mood.

It hasn't worked.

However, having finished every book, (through Turn Coat (Book 11)I am now a certified fan of The Dresden Files, at least in written and comic book form (The Dresden Files: Welcome to the Jungle.) The show, not so much. If you like your reading light-hearted with monsters and mayhem, not a lot of deep philosophical thought required, Jim Butcher can deliver. Good luck finding them on Paperback Swap though...maybe that should have indicated to me how much fun they were.

One of the reasons why I enjoyed them so much was the skill Butcher has in compacting maximum information in minimum of space - when he introduces a character, you can immediately get a feel for them. He is not above using the standard tropes of mysteries - the "one day I will tell you all about this matter you hadn't thought of until I mentioned it," sort of thing. But eventually, he does seem to get to that point, and without repeat visits to the tease. (A la that other Harry I enjoy, one Mr. Potter. How many times did someone promise to tell him everything he needed to know?)

Butcher had started out wanting to publish his swords, horses and magic books, but found the Dresden books were snapped up first. Now that he has established his name, he found publishers more willing to print up some fantasy novels for him. I'm somewhat gun shy of high fantasy - read far too many dreadful examples of it in my teens, and actually wrote some myself. (Shudder.) But like his publisher, I will take a chance on his fantasy - Furies of Calderon
- having read his horror.

While waiting to assemble my Dresden collection, I filled in some reading time with the final book in the Jaran series, The Law of Becoming. I almost wish I hadn't. It's huge, which I find encouraging. But the author had apparently decided her previous leading characters were no longer interesting, and this other guy, a third-string dude who made a pair of stupid choices in the previous books, was much more interesting. I obviously do not agree. But by shifting the focus from the small world where our romantic heroes struggled in low-tech battles into the larger universe and the incredibly complex alien society which holds humans in a rather benign pax-aliana, she threw her previous heroes into the dustbin of history, lost and forgotten, literally kidnapped in one case and nearly completely impotent in the other.

I felt like I had been baited and switched. By the end of the book, I was actually offended. It was like Elliot had simply written herself into a corner - how can a bunch of low-tech barbarians help topple an empire old enough to have seeded other planets with early humans?

Well, they can't. (Ewoks included.) So instead, the aliens, who have been so mysterious anyway, mysteriously elevate one of said barbarians to their ruling class, and who needs a coherent explanation for that? Did I mention they were mysterious aliens?

I am pondering whether I will keep these or pop them back on PBS. I liked the earlier books just fine.

Logo contest for Passionate Bonds

2009-06-18T17:17:00.004-04:00

I'm world famous!

2009-06-14T22:03:00.001-04:00

Look what I found in a brochure for a series of workshops given in Hong Kong!

Lucifer, Ling Hung（洪凌）：”A time out of joint; a place for enigmatic quest:
Reading three trans-men in their BDSM way of being” ＜時移事不魍，物換星
不移：從跨性男的愉虐敘事分析酷兒時空模式＞
This paper showcases three approaches of transsexual man’s mode of desire,
emphasizing on their articulations of temporality and spatial locations in regard
to an excruciating, intoxicating enactment of queer gay relationship embedded
within the locus of sadomasochistic power play.
The first part is a re-writing (or reverse writing) based on the Hegelian model of
“bondage and lordship”, in which a trans-man slave undertakes his trajectory on
a process of bodily transfiguration, branding his identification by way of a
Nietzschean discipline that trains a (masculine) animal into a promising being
across the boundary of time and space. I will read this remarkable and strenuous
bildungsroman via a close textual and inter-textual analysis of a serial queer
BDSM literature, Marketplace Series by celebrated author Laura Antoniou. This
cycle of stories vividly invokes a politically sensitive and phantasmatically
constructed reality in which a centralized anti-hero figure, a closeted trans-man
Chris Parker, posits as an emblem for this pansexual backdrop of an unruly
leather community. His is a story told in unyieldingly tricky tone, both densely
agonizing and perversely compelling, finally reclaiming a status by recourse to a
complicated (re)inscription of bodily modification, liminal subjectivity, and a
dialectical struggle between memory and amnesia, stigma of the past perfect
tense and stigmata in this present “after-life” which allows for his relocated
embodiment as a slave man per se.

Wow!

(Goes off to look up some words...)

Midori & me in a new weekend intensive. Interested?

2009-06-13T13:37:00.002-04:00

We've been working on it for about a year now, and we're ready to take it out in public.

Anyone who has seen me present knows how much I loathe anything that smacks of "one true wayism." For years now, I have been limited to mostly 90 minutes in which to get people as much information and personal attention to create their own best relationships - their own personal best "lifestyle."

Midori, a long time friend and absolutely not the model for Ken Mandarin, shares many of my values about SM, relationships, and the romantic, wonderful ecstasy that can come when things work out well. Some time ago, we wondered...could we teach this together? Not as a simple 90-minute class in a busy event, but as an intensive, personal, educational and, yes, passionate exploration of what a smaller group of people really wanted to work on.

Limited class size, one location, one weekend of uninterrupted access to two people who want the same thing - for folks in the scene to have the best relationships for them.

No bondage how-to classes. No safety 101. No auctions, dances, awards or sashes. Nothing but how to make your personal world work for you and your partners.

It's coming, this autumn, to a location we'll choose based on what sort of interest we get and where we can have a good mix of privacy and comfort.

If you might be interested, let me know. You are welcome to post here, of course, but you can also write directly to me at Laura@lantoniou.com. We're looking for serious players ready to commit time, money and personal effort for a weekend they'll never forget.

Passionate Bonds: Creating Empowered Relationships

DESCRIPTION:

Tired of searching for the ultimate guide to your D/s or SM relationship? Do you want to make your BDSM relationship the best it can be for you and your partners?

Join Marketplace author Laura Antoniou and internationally acclaimed educator Midori for a special weekend intensive designed for real people who enjoy power dynamics and want to have quality relationships that suit their hungers and needs.

Learn about the many styles of relationships we enjoy and discover the hidden and vital aspects of your own special way. You will be guided through a special curriculum designed to clearly identify your value system, behavior preferences and relationship goals.

Participants will develop insights to help them get what they want in current and future relationships. This unique curriculum will provide the tools for each individual or relationship unit to create their own customized manual of effective protocol, rules, etiquettes and codes of conduct. The instructors work closely with each student through out each step.

This weekend will include lectures, group discussions and exercises, with time for reflection and time for pure fun.

While experience or current D/s relationship is not necessary, students must be prepared for hard but fulfilling work. Sincerity, willingness to communicate and full participation is required.

Open to anyone with an orientation or a strong interest for a relationship which includes some variation and expression of power exchange or dominance and submission. Any experience level welcome. The weekend is excellent for those in current relationship or domestic units of 2 or more people. It is also highly effective for those who are not currently in relationship but wish have clear visions, goals and structure in place for future relationships.

Unacceptable

2009-06-10T17:17:00.002-04:00

Antisemitism, if you use that word. Jew-hatred, if you want to argue semantics about semites, as many Jew-haters do, when trying to change the subject. It's a disgusting, backward, fucked-up, paranoid frame of mind in which someone believes canards such as how Jews simultaneously are both the worlds communists and socialists and the greatest capitalists. That the Jews control the banks, the media and the government, yet are vile, vermin-like creatures who use subterfuge and crafty pressure to be accepted among polite company. Or that Jews were not targeted and murdered throughout history, most especially not by Hitler and his enthusiastic helpers and passive cowards. And also that the Nazis didn't kill enough Jews.

It is unacceptable from the right. Especially so when they advocate and use violence to spread their hate.

And it is unacceptable from the left, even if all they use are words.

Turning Japanese

2009-06-08T16:21:00.002-04:00

Recently, I also caught up with a Sano Ichiro mystery I had missed, and a neat little book on the Japanese bath.

My attraction to mysteries seems to include a few necessary elements. I like a lengthy series of books, the better to collect and re-read, and I prefer settings which have an element of unfamiliarity - historical mysteries, psychiatric evaluations, that sort of thing. Add to this my quirky fetish for things Japanese, and bingo! A detective operating in the 17th Century Shogun's court, with his wife as an occasional aid and occasional plot device. I do not grab them reflexively as I do with other novels; they are fast reads which seem to find their way into my briefcase while I am in airports, mostly. This is not a series to be read for the rich depth of the plots or settings. But they are fun, and I have a library card, so The Assassin's Touchwound up in my stack of books to be read. It is about the same as the other books in the series and I tore through it in a day.

I actually enjoyed the non fiction book, Getting Wetmore than the mystery. Our friend Tom brought it on his last visit - more, I suspect, because of our repeat visits to the local Korean bath house, Spa Castle. But I liked the breezy, conversational writing of Eric Talmadge, a Tokyo based editor for the Associated Press. I also appreciated the pictures included. Sometimes, no matter how well something is described, only a picture will make it clear for me. Seeing a classic style vs. modern style home bath, a rustic spring in the mountains, a public bathhouse, a sort of bathhouse amusement park and a Soapland room beats reading the descriptions by a long shot.

It's not a scholarly work, and it sure isn't for anyone who actually has real life experience in Japan, but I will keep this one on my reference shelf.

Second verse, etc.

2009-06-08T10:49:00.004-04:00

Depression, for the record, sucks rotten donkey dong. I hate whining about it, and to tell the truth, it's been pretty well managed with drugs for years, but this year, (and part of last) - not so much. The adventures involved in trying new substances which my insurance will pay for have been annoying and distracting. For the slower of thought, I might add that being depressed makes me not want to write. (Big "duh," right?)

But every once in a while I try to push though. The worst part this year seems to be that I want to read less than I usually do and am far more entertained by passive entertainment - i.e., TV shows - than I usually am. Blech. I am so ready to move on and get better. If only my pharmaceuticals would get on track.

Not that I haven't been reading. But the volume is way down from my usual level. So, playing catch up again, here's what has passed my way since the last time I updated:

Two more Dresden novels, Summer Knight and Grave Peril. Still like them! I like Harry Dresden and his various friends and issues, I like the other worldly aspects both for the honoring of standard horror tropes and for the gleeful skewering of them. I'll probably read more of them as I find them.

However, the The Dresden FilesTV show, which lasted for one season on the newly re-branded Ski-Fee, er, SyFy...whatever...channel - yeah, those who warned me against it were right. They got rid of some of the things that make me like the books - little fairies who eat pizza, holy knights wandering around Chicago with swords, tons of gore - and made Harry into a ...whiner. They also stripped him of his iconic mantled coat (very Dark Shadows), his not-so-Blue Beetle, and made his cop friend Murphy into yet another girly police officer with Issues. I did like his using a drum stick for his "blasting wand" and a hockey stick for his "staff." And...um...Ok, I liked Bob the elemental spirit being changed to a ghost who can manifest because, well, he was played by Terrance Mann who is Teh Hawtness. (See photo above. Look for white hair and pale eyes in an upcoming MP character, that's all I am saying.) But I watched the entire season and, well, my verdict is, "Meh." It was OK. But if it was still on, I'd forget when and watch it online from time to time while playing solitaire on the side. Of course, I included the link to buy the set on DVD, but I think you can still watch it for free on the aforementioned cable channel's website.

More books, other updates later.

Shameless self promotion moment

2009-05-20T18:28:00.002-04:00

The Leather Archives in Chicago is having a poll on "BDSM" works of fiction. They are launching a new exhibit and they want readers to tell them all about the good stuff.

Do I have to hold up the cue cards?

To be featured in this exhibit, a book must be FICTION and it must contain EXPLICIT BDSM.
If you really like your favorite book, then please consider also submitting a comment of 100-200 words, describing any or all of the following:
+ a brief synopsis of the book,
+ how the book represents BDSM,
+ historical significance of the book,
+ other work the author may have done within the BDSM community.

The best book descriptions might be used in the exhibit. So if you want your description to have your name or pseudonym on it, please include that name at the end of your description! Sadly, we cannot pay people if we use their descriptions.

So, go do that voodoo that you do so well!

Laura

Hey! There's a new spouse here!

2009-05-20T09:25:00.003-04:00

So, Republican National Committee head Michael Steele wants to reframe opposition to same-sex-marriage from "teh gays! they are icky!" to "the gays! they will want health insurance!"

"Now all of a sudden I've got someone who wasn't a spouse before, that I had no responsibility for, who is now getting claimed as a spouse that I now have financial responsibility for," Steele told Republicans at the state convention in traditionally conservative Georgia. "So how do I pay for that? Who pays for that? You just cost me money."

- RNC chief: Gay marriage will burden small business

To which I had to...well, blink a lot in confusion. Isn't this an argument against hiring...SINGLE PEOPLE?

I mean...notice the lack of gender in that example. So, if Bob Heterosexual starts working for Janes Small Business and then gets hitched...hey! There's someone who wasn't a spouse before! OMG! WTF??

And, um...there's that "who pays for it?" question. Judging from the costs of single coverage vs family coverage, Bob Heterosexual just saw his insurance premium co-pay at work...double. He might even pay more than double. The last corporate job I had, the "family" coverage was 3X what a single person paid, because it also covered children.

So...of there are (at least) 9 hets for every gay person, and hets marry more than gay people do...and have more children than gay people do...

In order to save money, a small business should ONLY hire gay couples.

But in my own weak attempt at doing the math, I missed an even bigger picture. What about all the small business that won't get the money from all the new gay marriages?

For example, in my wedding, we paid for rings, decorations, catering, music, clothing, printing, art, yarmulkes, food, wine, fabric, prayer shawls, and legal advice - all from local small business or crafters. (OK, the printing of the invitations actually came from one of those huge catalog places.) And we had a small, small wedding. Let Keith Olberman do the bigger math.

Keith asks WTF? about the "cost" of gay weddings.

Happy Housekeepers and beaming butlers

2009-05-18T16:02:00.003-04:00

So, according to a new survey by Time magazine, the happiest people in their profession are priests and other clergy. The second most happy at work?

Housekeepers and butlers.

Hmm.

LTNS; I've been distracted

2009-05-18T14:55:00.002-04:00

Way behind on my reading accounting, I know. I've been on the road (Michigan, Illinois) and I've been training for a new part time job and then doing it, and pondering life's oddities. In Michigan, I saw many dancing white people, crossdressing and parading up and down the streets like nobodies business. Shameless, I tell you! But the elephant ear was tasty. In Illinois, I saw many kinky people, several of whom seemed to want to be half dead. It's a long story.

In the mean time, as I have been enjoying this jet-set almost-working lifestyle, I have read...more books than I can remember. But these are the ones which come to mind (and hand) with the greatest of ease...

Finished Ring of Fire II, enjoyed it, forgot most of it already. But that's my pattern with Eric Flint, et. al. Just for comparisons' sake, after my last post on the subject, I reread S.M. Stirling's Island in the Sea of Timetrilogy, and yep - far more memorable and enjoyable as a story. It's always good to check these things.

Picked up three books via PaperbackSwap, and greatly enjoyed them. This is a new author for me, Kate Elliot. She popped up on my "books you might like" list several times, and sometimes appears on lists of gay SF/fantasy stories. The first book I read by her was Jaran (The Jaran, Book 1).

Technically science fiction, most of the action takes place on a low-tech world with a bunch of pseudo-cossacks and their Mongol-like roaming lifestyle. Tess, the heroine, is hiding from her brother, a powerful galactic figure, by hanging out with the nomads for a while. What made this book and its sequels interesting for me was the culture of said nomads. Instead of dropping in the standard "men are warriors, women cook and make babies" sort of lazy importing, Elliot made a few tweaks into that narrative and made the men warriors - duh, strength, stamina, thick heads - but made the women the owners of the tents, the hunters, and pretty much the tribal political leadership. Women choose lovers; men choose wives. All of a woman's children are hers and her husbands - absolutely no import is attached to the "biological father," who might be any man a woman fancies at any time. In fact, they have difficulty even picturing what "biological father" means.

So what's gay about this? Not much, actually. There's a band of leathermen, er, manly outsider men, who contain a certain number of dudes who prefer another dude in their tent, so to speak, and later in the series, it becomes clear that although the nomads really disapprove of that sort of thing, well, see, this one lead male character might have had this one great love in the past...yadda, yadda. It's about as gay as a novel-of-the-closet, really, and if that was the reason I set out to read them, I'd feel cheated.

No, the centerpiece romance is between Tess and...you guessed it, the leader of the male nomads, (he-who-had-a-boyfriend-once) - and they bicker for a while until they wind up admitting their great love, a sort of science-fiction-mongol-russian-sitcom thing. Everyone around them rolls their eyes and says, "sheesh, finally!" Everyone who is still alive, that is. This is not a series in which you should develop favorite characters too early.

And then things get interesting. The following books are An Earthly Crown and His Conquering Sword. Note that the numbering is confusing; the first book is followed by a book sometimes called book 2 or, book 1.

I read three books out of a total of four. The fourth is out of print, so after hunting around, I found a cheap copy and splurged actual money for it. That's how much I want to know how it all ends.

While lounging in Michigan and not being entertained by klompen-stalkers, I reread the final two Harry Potter novels (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows) because 1) they were there in the cottage, and 2) I didn't think I had enough new material to last me all the way home, and 3) I hadn't read them enough yet. Oh, and also because I am waiting for the next movie. Once again, I lamented the fact that there ARE movies at all. Clearly, these books were meant for a series option, preferably produced with deep pockets and sterling production values, ala HBO/Showtime. There is just so much in the story I'd love to see on the screen. Ahh, well.

Back at home, I have been enjoying the first two Dresden Files books by Jim Butcher. Apparently everyone else enjoys them, too, because not even one is available at PBS and even used copies are more than the usual amazon .01 plus postage. They're fun! Sort of a wizard-private eye thing, set in Chicago, with predictable supporting cast (wiseass spirits, coldblooded gangsters, ferocious, bloodthirsty vampires, werewolves, demons, etc.) Downright Dexter-esque in the splashes of blood everywhere, the lead character, one Harry Dresden, is a standard combination of tough PI, wily mage and sensitive new age guy. He dresses like he just walked out of a Stephen King apocalypse novel, has a lousy romantic life (so far) and breaks electrical equipment by looking at it. He comes equipped with other standard trope of the genres - mysterious deaths of his parents (which he didn't know were mysterious), a former lover who betrayed him, and a mentor, ditto; hell, in Storm Front, the first book, he came complete with all that and a stalker, ready to execute him for past crimes. Obviously, he was intended to launch a franchise. I'm OK with that so far; we'll see how long this ride lasts.

Oh, and finally, I read When the Focus is On Care: Pallative Care and Cancer. It's research.

Fabulous ad for Iowa

2009-04-24T11:44:00.002-04:00

Iowa recently celebrated a court decision to allow for same-sex couples to get hitched there. This is a fabulous ad put together by OneIowa, to help influence people not to work for or support a reversal of that decision. Unlike some statewide campaigns, this one actually shows gay people in it, hopefully helping those who watch it realize there are real people involved here and not just an abstract theory or religious "principle."

Watch it here.

And, if you can afford it, toss them a few bucks. I admire their donation suggestions! They range from an "anything helps" level of $5 to a note that $5000 would keep that ad running in a particular congressional district for a whole week.

And if you can't send money, send a nice note, or spread the video and donation suggestions around. They have a matching grant for $25,000 if they can raise that amount by April 30. And let's face it, volunteers can always use some nice words, especially when their opposition is so batshit crazy and foaming at the mouth. And have you ever noticed how, when religious extremists and the far right start talking about the "homosexual agenda" someone ALWAYS seems to have one sex act on their mind? Methinks some people spend a lot of time thinking about having things "shoved down throats." Just saying.

Words from the opposition in Iowa (and outside agitators)

“Sen. Gronstal has formed a pact with the rabid homosexual rights lobby in Des Moines and is now working to ram their hostile agenda down your throat!”
- Flyer from Iowa Biblical Families

“The Flood of 2008 is arguably the most destructive disaster that the state of Iowa has seen — at least, that is, until last Friday.”
- Baptist Pastor from Cedar Rapids

“I believe this case is actually about going into churches and going in and attacking churches and saying you can’t teach anything else.”
- Glenn Beck on Fox News, despite the Court’s message that religious doctrine is unaffected

“I suppose, a father and a son or a mother and a daughter… They can come to this state and get married and then go back to the state where they reside.”
- Rep. Steve King

Got any Dresden Files books?

2009-04-22T13:40:00.002-04:00

Someone left the first one at our house. During the library reorg, we discovered it and stashed it on the "to be read" shelf and found it was great fun.

However, they are simply not to be found on PBS and used copies seem...pricey! So, since it's a series, and sometimes people will buy a bunch of books in a series and then realize they have no great desire to keep them, I am asking...

Do you have these books and would rather have the shelf space? I will be happy to trade other books for them and/or pay for shipping costs. We have a loving home for books here and will treat them well. The author is Jim Butcher, and I am especially interested in volumes 3 and up for the Dresden Files series.

And if anyone knows - how is the TV show?

Ring of Fire, the biggest world around

2009-04-22T09:58:00.002-04:00

Right now, I am 3/4 through Ring of Fire II (v. 2), edited by Eric Flint, who has apparently found a way to do without sleep. The Ring of Fire books, also known as the 1632 Series, belong to that small genre of "a large group of contemporary Americans find themselves sometime in the past for no discernible reason and proceed to change the world."

For example, S. M. Stirling has for his group the entire island of Nantucket. (And never a limerick anywhere in the books!) In the first volume, Island in the Sea of Timehe slams them into 1250 BCE, and if you have trouble picturing what the world was like then, they run into Odysseus. An interesting twist for Stirling is that he has two different series of books - one about the misplaced Nantucketeers and one about what happens on the world they left behind. (Given my druthers, I would have rather stayed with the Nantucket people. Just saying.) It's a sweeping world-wide story full of high fantasy tropes, engagingly improbable characters, dastardly villains and occasional lengthy and bloody battles. And one of the lead characters is a black, lesbian, martial arts master, Coast Guard Captain. (For which many people have condemned the books, saying that Stirling is PC and/or obscene, blah, blah. Whatever happened to SF people being the smart ones?) To say that his works are among my favorite for engrossing adventure and entertainment is an understatement. And his Draka books...woof. It's like the darkest of SM fantasies brought to life. When I reread those, I will go into more detail.

Flint, however, takes a small West Virginia mining town called Grantville and plops it into Europe in the middle of the 30 Years War. This series is impossibly huge, because Flint openly shares it with not only other professional writers, but with thousands of fans, who produce their own stories, some of which wind up in the supporting magazine and published anthologies and on the amazingly badly organized website for the series. I mean it, their website sucks rocks. For a bunch of people who get all geeky over the precise methods of manufacturing and warfare, they need a better web master.

That aside, I must say I enjoy the Stirling "Americans lost in time" more than the 1632 series, because of his masterful and epic writing style. (Plus, Flint looks like a High School teacher and Stirling looks like the guys I played D&D with.) But both the weakness and the strength of the 1632 series is the fact that it is a shared world. Sometimes, the novel or short story seems pedantic to the point of fetish. Other times, characters seem to change speech patterns and behavioral tics. But put together, there's this huge and varied world under construction here, spreading in all directions. So, an Italian action-adventure which has at its core a bunch of bumbling but well meaning teenagers off to rescue Galileo can act as a nice rest from reading way, way too much about various church doctrines of the time and their giant committee meetings. (At least for me.) Both the displaced Americans and the various locals appear as major and minor characters, and famous historical figures pop in for cameos or become major parts of the story. These books give me a good workout with Google; I am always looking up this king and that philosopher or artist. But then, I like that.

However, I do find myself skipping pages and sometimes entire stories of some of the contributors. It could be the topic, or the style. And there are events which unfurl over literally thousands of pages in the series; sometimes I need a codex to figure out in which volume this group gets rescued from the Tower of London, and in which book does this character die, etc., etc. A particular author can spend an entire story telling how various townspeople I can't really remember met and lived, while a central character who winds up being a sort of country-western version of James Bond seems to simply rise out of the text from nowhere.

And yet, when a new one comes out, I get it. And I enjoy...most of it. It's clear that Flint, et. al. want a more "reality based" version of the displaced Yankees story than the one Stirling tells. Stirling can't resist throwing some elements of fantasy and/or wishful thinking into the mix; but I appreciate that. But with a whole team of writers and fans constantly sending manuscripts, it's plain to see there will be simply *more* of the 1632 books. And among the quantity, there will always be some quality.