Sunday, July 25, 2010
Monday, July 05, 2010
Upcoming appearances with new updates!
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Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Passionate Bonds in Toronto, July 30 - August 1
Tired of searching for the ultimate guide to your D/s or SM relationship?
Do you want to make your BDSM relationship the best it can be for you and your partners?
Join Marketplace author Laura Antoniou and internationally acclaimed educator Midori for a special weekend intensive designed for real people who enjoy power dynamics and want to have quality relationships that suit their hungers and needs.
Learn about the many styles of relationships we enjoy and discover the hidden and vital aspects of your own special way. You will be guided through a special curriculum designed to clearly identify your value system, behavior preferences and relationship goals.
Participants will develop insights to help them get what they want in current and future relationships. This unique curriculum will provide the tools for each individual or relationship unit to create their own customized manual of effective protocol, rules, etiquettes and codes of conducts. The instructors work closely with each student through out each step.
This weekend will include lectures, group discussions and exercises, with time for reflection and time for pure fun.
While experience or current D/s relationship is not necessary, students must be prepared for hard but fulfilling work. Sincerity, willingness to communicate and full participation is required.
Open to anyone with an orientation or a strong interest for a relationship which includes some variation and expression of power exchange or dominance and submission. Any experience level welcome. The weekend is excellent for those in current relationship or domestic units of 2 or more people. It is also highly effective for those who are not currently in relationship but wish have clear visions, goals and structure in place for future
relationships.
= = =
Class size will be strictly limited to allow for a unique quality experience emphasizing individualized attention.
Join Marketplace author Laura Antoniou and educator Midori for a special weekend intensive designed for people who enjoy authentic power dynamics and D/s, who want to consciously create quality relationships that suit their personal hungers and needs in the context of the real world.
Through the unique curriculum and its innovative tools, each individual or relationship unit will create their own customized manual of effective protocol, rules, etiquettes and codes of conduct.
Q&A
Q. Do I need to bring a partner?
A. No! Anyone may attend, partnered or not.
Q. My primary and I have a submissive - can all three of us come?
A. Pricing for this intensive is purposefully set to allow for "relationship units" of every size; this is by no means 'couples only'!
Q. I am fairly new and my partner and I are exploring options. Is this for me?
A. This is perfect for you; come on in and discover your passions.
Q. I have been in the Scene for a while. Can this be helpful for me?
A. Absolutely. Come and reacquaint yourself with the dreams and desires that brought you into the scene, and find out things about yourself and your partner(s) you might not have seen before.
Q. Will there be opportunities to play?
A. Passionate Bonds weekends are held in cities where there are local play spaces. We encourage you to create your own playtime as part of a great weekend experience.
Q. Does this include lodging and meals?
A. The tuition does not include lodging and meals. There will be coffee, tea, soda and snacks available through out the instruction.
Q. What's a Relational Unit?
A. That's the term we use to refer to people coming together to construct a D/s relationship. We recognize that this is not limited to couples and many forms of relationship geometry exist. We also use this term to avoid labels as each D/s relationship uses special terms for their structure and titles.
Do you want to make your BDSM relationship the best it can be for you and your partners?
Join Marketplace author Laura Antoniou and internationally acclaimed educator Midori for a special weekend intensive designed for real people who enjoy power dynamics and want to have quality relationships that suit their hungers and needs.
Learn about the many styles of relationships we enjoy and discover the hidden and vital aspects of your own special way. You will be guided through a special curriculum designed to clearly identify your value system, behavior preferences and relationship goals.
Participants will develop insights to help them get what they want in current and future relationships. This unique curriculum will provide the tools for each individual or relationship unit to create their own customized manual of effective protocol, rules, etiquettes and codes of conducts. The instructors work closely with each student through out each step.
This weekend will include lectures, group discussions and exercises, with time for reflection and time for pure fun.
While experience or current D/s relationship is not necessary, students must be prepared for hard but fulfilling work. Sincerity, willingness to communicate and full participation is required.
Open to anyone with an orientation or a strong interest for a relationship which includes some variation and expression of power exchange or dominance and submission. Any experience level welcome. The weekend is excellent for those in current relationship or domestic units of 2 or more people. It is also highly effective for those who are not currently in relationship but wish have clear visions, goals and structure in place for future
relationships.
= = =
Class size will be strictly limited to allow for a unique quality experience emphasizing individualized attention.
Join Marketplace author Laura Antoniou and educator Midori for a special weekend intensive designed for people who enjoy authentic power dynamics and D/s, who want to consciously create quality relationships that suit their personal hungers and needs in the context of the real world.
Through the unique curriculum and its innovative tools, each individual or relationship unit will create their own customized manual of effective protocol, rules, etiquettes and codes of conduct.
Q&A
Q. Do I need to bring a partner?
A. No! Anyone may attend, partnered or not.
Q. My primary and I have a submissive - can all three of us come?
A. Pricing for this intensive is purposefully set to allow for "relationship units" of every size; this is by no means 'couples only'!
Q. I am fairly new and my partner and I are exploring options. Is this for me?
A. This is perfect for you; come on in and discover your passions.
Q. I have been in the Scene for a while. Can this be helpful for me?
A. Absolutely. Come and reacquaint yourself with the dreams and desires that brought you into the scene, and find out things about yourself and your partner(s) you might not have seen before.
Q. Will there be opportunities to play?
A. Passionate Bonds weekends are held in cities where there are local play spaces. We encourage you to create your own playtime as part of a great weekend experience.
Q. Does this include lodging and meals?
A. The tuition does not include lodging and meals. There will be coffee, tea, soda and snacks available through out the instruction.
Q. What's a Relational Unit?
A. That's the term we use to refer to people coming together to construct a D/s relationship. We recognize that this is not limited to couples and many forms of relationship geometry exist. We also use this term to avoid labels as each D/s relationship uses special terms for their structure and titles.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
The new look for the MP series
It's becoming real again! E-book, then available again through your favorite online booksellers as a print-on-demand title.
Nice, huh? The story of how the images are being made for the series will be coming...
Friday, June 11, 2010
International Mr. leather
“…here at International Ms. Leather I am going to propose something astonishingly insensitive considering the venue.
When Chuck Renslow came up with the idea for the first Mr. Gold Coast contest, which was to become the International Mr. Leather Contest, it was not to create a leader in the leather community. It was not to elect a speaker, a historian, a figure of responsibility and public consumption. It wasn’t even to be able to parade a bunch of hot guys around the bar. It was to sell beer. The contest was a distraction, an enticement, a spectacle to get guys to settle in for a while and spend money and time at the bar.
It’s been 30 years now. I put it to you as gently as someone like me can…isn’t it time we moved past popularity contests and put infotainment in the right place? The new titleholder doesn’t need the permission or cheers of the community to do any of the basic things I outlined for anyone here to do. You all, as individuals, do not need a sash or a panel of judges to grant you the ability to learn, grow, make change and question authority. I put it to you; if the energy gathered here for a weekend were spent on just making a happy space for leatherwomen and their allies to come and connect, to spend some money and make some money, to teach and learn, to entertain and be entertained, would that be so bad? Could the barely functioning system of contests change instead to something celebrating achievements of other kinds? Where are our business leaders, our philanthropists, our social workers and teachers and librarians?…”
That’s me up there – in a speech I made at IMsL in 2008. I’d already given up judging contests for several years before that, disenchanted with the process and the results. But since Glenda Rider, (executive producer, IMsL) is a personal friend, I agreed to make the speech at her event, figuring what the hell; might as well bell the cat.
Then two years later, I found myself judging International MR. Leather. Which was, by the way, a blast. Here is that story.
There’s a vast difference between the women’s and men’s leather contest worlds. Many people don’t know that for the first round of International Ms. Leather winners, bankruptcy followed their title year. Travel funds? They were lucky to get a prize basket. Sponsorships? Beer companies and official airlines were – and remain – unfound. Regional contests were few and far between, and many were actually designed to create a “winner” who would go compete at IMsL the next MONTH. Way back in 1992, I actually produced a leather contest that was designed to be after IMsL so that my winner had a year to serve in her local title before moving on compete in a national one. I was told I was insane for doing that – no one would want to be a titleholder for two years running.
Women’s contests do not get the money, the crowds, or the community support that the men’s contests do – and sometimes, that’s damn little. I can’t remember how many times I was present for a contest (any contest, men/women/couples/etc.) where the contestants were recruited the week (or the day!) before the event, so they would have “someone” running. And of course, many of those last minute recruits went on to win, some by default.
And then there were times when I did judge a contest with a decent array of contestants only to find I hoped no one would win. The lesser of two evils might have been a relief for some of those torturous events, where I really wanted a “none of the above” option on my paperwork. And really, who hasn’t known a titleholder who just made you wonder what on earth the judges had been sniffing the night they vetted that moron/asshole/team of delusional nitwits. For every outstanding leader type of person on the leather title circuit there seemed to be at least a dozen pretty boys/girls in borrowed fetish gear, and leather community green belts who thought they knew it all after doing it online for the past two years. Add to this the number of titleholders who burned out and left the scene after their title tours, and it was easy to just decline invitations and focus on my teaching activities instead.
And then Chuck called.
And that makes a difference.
Just as when Glenda called, I said yes, so I said yes to Chuck Renslow. And not because he’s a personal friend – Chuck and I have met maybe a dozen times over the years, and he did come to a reading I did once. But come on, it’s Chuck Renslow. For all its dysfunction, our leather scene exists partly because of this man. The very image of a leatherman is iconic because he helped make it so. As I said many times to those who asked why I was doing this – I owe Chuck. When he calls, I go.
I could also argue about how IML is in fact the largest, best supported leather pageant in the world, that the winners do tend to be well supported by the community and there is no dearth of contestants, etcetera, but really, those are rationalizations, not reasons. My reason was to pay my karmic debt to Chuck.
Frankly, I didn’t expect much. Fifty gorgeous men in leather clothing answering questions about sex and politics and then strutting their stuff – that’s what I expected. I already knew that many of them would not actually be into SM, let alone DS relationships. I already knew asking them about the last book they read or which leatherwoman they admired would probably be a mistake. (I can’t tell you how many contestants I have seen who actually told me they NEVER read books. NEVER. I gave up asking that question.) I was fairly comfortable knowing most of them would have never heard of me, let alone read my books – after all, there was less of a chance for them to try to schmooze me. I expected to get pleasantly dazed by eye candy, enjoy a good show, and see some old friends.
And what do you know, I wound up being a bystander to history. I had a fun time. And ultimately? I still believe our community can spend much of our contest driven money, energy and focus on better things. Especially the women’s leather scene. Glenda is working hard to make IMsL the kind of tourist attraction/extravaganza IML is, and if anyone has a chance of doing it, she will. But when a local community needs to beg people three days before a contest to run, when the winner has to beg for basic support like a travel fund and event scholarships, and basically has to work FOR their title instead of working their title for something else, when improper people win because there isn’t anyone better who wants to submit to the system, hell yeah, there are better uses for our time and money.
And about that history thing.
I am a harsh judge. (Ask anyone who every invited me to be on a panel.) I’ve read and heard some scuttlebutt on the selection of Mr. Tyler McCormick as IML and let me say this, without revealing any privileged information I am sworn to keep secret. No, I did not lobby my fellow judges to pick him because he’s FTM; in fact, there was no lobbying of any sort among the judges. Neither did I give him high scores for that reason – every score I gave out that weekend was earned by each individual man, and there were some damn impressive men in that top twenty, some of whom got higher scores from me in their different fields. The assertion “he was only picked because he’s disabled” is frankly stupid as shit, since, duh, he is not the first disabled contestant and wasn’t the only one in this year’s contestant gang. I even read that some people believe his walking out to deliver his 90 second speech was some sort of trick, as though someone who uses a wheelchair should never be able to walk, like it’s some zero sum ability challenge.
I’ll say what I thought about walking out, Tyler – that was some good stagecraft. And after witnessing dozens of titleholders whose speaking and stage presence was poor at best and distressing at worst, I appreciate a good show. One thing about Mr. McCormick was that every time I saw him, he had a surprise for me. That’s entertainment.
There were prettier men. And men with bigger dicks, no doubt. There were men with better fetish gear and men with excellent community service resumes. All in all, it was pleasant to find that I had dramatically overestimated the percentage of pretty-boys-in-borrowed-leather in the IML class of 2010. But when the numbers came out, I must say I was very pleased that my fellow judges sorted out this particular man in the top slot. “They’re gonna blame this on you,” a friend said to me afterwards. Oh, I certainly hope so. But it’s not true at all.
Does this mean I am going back to judging contests? Not necessarily. For one, I can’t afford it – judges spend days working and are not paid for it. I don’t owe vast karmic debts to too many other people organizing contests, so I think I am fairly well excluded from most invites. I am comfortable with that. IML was a unique experience; it allowed me to recall my early days in the leather scene and connect with some fine men, and yes, I even got to see some old friends. But my passion remains with writing, teaching, facilitating workshops and poking at my most beloved/maligned community, the DS folks.
So, congratulations to Tyler and his brothers, and a hearty shout out to my fellow judges and our team of handlers. Chuck – you put on a great show. As a once in a lifetime experience, I am glad I got to participate, disgruntled outsider or not.
When Chuck Renslow came up with the idea for the first Mr. Gold Coast contest, which was to become the International Mr. Leather Contest, it was not to create a leader in the leather community. It was not to elect a speaker, a historian, a figure of responsibility and public consumption. It wasn’t even to be able to parade a bunch of hot guys around the bar. It was to sell beer. The contest was a distraction, an enticement, a spectacle to get guys to settle in for a while and spend money and time at the bar.
It’s been 30 years now. I put it to you as gently as someone like me can…isn’t it time we moved past popularity contests and put infotainment in the right place? The new titleholder doesn’t need the permission or cheers of the community to do any of the basic things I outlined for anyone here to do. You all, as individuals, do not need a sash or a panel of judges to grant you the ability to learn, grow, make change and question authority. I put it to you; if the energy gathered here for a weekend were spent on just making a happy space for leatherwomen and their allies to come and connect, to spend some money and make some money, to teach and learn, to entertain and be entertained, would that be so bad? Could the barely functioning system of contests change instead to something celebrating achievements of other kinds? Where are our business leaders, our philanthropists, our social workers and teachers and librarians?…”
That’s me up there – in a speech I made at IMsL in 2008. I’d already given up judging contests for several years before that, disenchanted with the process and the results. But since Glenda Rider, (executive producer, IMsL) is a personal friend, I agreed to make the speech at her event, figuring what the hell; might as well bell the cat.
Then two years later, I found myself judging International MR. Leather. Which was, by the way, a blast. Here is that story.
There’s a vast difference between the women’s and men’s leather contest worlds. Many people don’t know that for the first round of International Ms. Leather winners, bankruptcy followed their title year. Travel funds? They were lucky to get a prize basket. Sponsorships? Beer companies and official airlines were – and remain – unfound. Regional contests were few and far between, and many were actually designed to create a “winner” who would go compete at IMsL the next MONTH. Way back in 1992, I actually produced a leather contest that was designed to be after IMsL so that my winner had a year to serve in her local title before moving on compete in a national one. I was told I was insane for doing that – no one would want to be a titleholder for two years running.
Women’s contests do not get the money, the crowds, or the community support that the men’s contests do – and sometimes, that’s damn little. I can’t remember how many times I was present for a contest (any contest, men/women/couples/etc.) where the contestants were recruited the week (or the day!) before the event, so they would have “someone” running. And of course, many of those last minute recruits went on to win, some by default.
And then there were times when I did judge a contest with a decent array of contestants only to find I hoped no one would win. The lesser of two evils might have been a relief for some of those torturous events, where I really wanted a “none of the above” option on my paperwork. And really, who hasn’t known a titleholder who just made you wonder what on earth the judges had been sniffing the night they vetted that moron/asshole/team of delusional nitwits. For every outstanding leader type of person on the leather title circuit there seemed to be at least a dozen pretty boys/girls in borrowed fetish gear, and leather community green belts who thought they knew it all after doing it online for the past two years. Add to this the number of titleholders who burned out and left the scene after their title tours, and it was easy to just decline invitations and focus on my teaching activities instead.
And then Chuck called.
And that makes a difference.
Just as when Glenda called, I said yes, so I said yes to Chuck Renslow. And not because he’s a personal friend – Chuck and I have met maybe a dozen times over the years, and he did come to a reading I did once. But come on, it’s Chuck Renslow. For all its dysfunction, our leather scene exists partly because of this man. The very image of a leatherman is iconic because he helped make it so. As I said many times to those who asked why I was doing this – I owe Chuck. When he calls, I go.
I could also argue about how IML is in fact the largest, best supported leather pageant in the world, that the winners do tend to be well supported by the community and there is no dearth of contestants, etcetera, but really, those are rationalizations, not reasons. My reason was to pay my karmic debt to Chuck.
Frankly, I didn’t expect much. Fifty gorgeous men in leather clothing answering questions about sex and politics and then strutting their stuff – that’s what I expected. I already knew that many of them would not actually be into SM, let alone DS relationships. I already knew asking them about the last book they read or which leatherwoman they admired would probably be a mistake. (I can’t tell you how many contestants I have seen who actually told me they NEVER read books. NEVER. I gave up asking that question.) I was fairly comfortable knowing most of them would have never heard of me, let alone read my books – after all, there was less of a chance for them to try to schmooze me. I expected to get pleasantly dazed by eye candy, enjoy a good show, and see some old friends.
And what do you know, I wound up being a bystander to history. I had a fun time. And ultimately? I still believe our community can spend much of our contest driven money, energy and focus on better things. Especially the women’s leather scene. Glenda is working hard to make IMsL the kind of tourist attraction/extravaganza IML is, and if anyone has a chance of doing it, she will. But when a local community needs to beg people three days before a contest to run, when the winner has to beg for basic support like a travel fund and event scholarships, and basically has to work FOR their title instead of working their title for something else, when improper people win because there isn’t anyone better who wants to submit to the system, hell yeah, there are better uses for our time and money.
And about that history thing.
I am a harsh judge. (Ask anyone who every invited me to be on a panel.) I’ve read and heard some scuttlebutt on the selection of Mr. Tyler McCormick as IML and let me say this, without revealing any privileged information I am sworn to keep secret. No, I did not lobby my fellow judges to pick him because he’s FTM; in fact, there was no lobbying of any sort among the judges. Neither did I give him high scores for that reason – every score I gave out that weekend was earned by each individual man, and there were some damn impressive men in that top twenty, some of whom got higher scores from me in their different fields. The assertion “he was only picked because he’s disabled” is frankly stupid as shit, since, duh, he is not the first disabled contestant and wasn’t the only one in this year’s contestant gang. I even read that some people believe his walking out to deliver his 90 second speech was some sort of trick, as though someone who uses a wheelchair should never be able to walk, like it’s some zero sum ability challenge.
I’ll say what I thought about walking out, Tyler – that was some good stagecraft. And after witnessing dozens of titleholders whose speaking and stage presence was poor at best and distressing at worst, I appreciate a good show. One thing about Mr. McCormick was that every time I saw him, he had a surprise for me. That’s entertainment.
There were prettier men. And men with bigger dicks, no doubt. There were men with better fetish gear and men with excellent community service resumes. All in all, it was pleasant to find that I had dramatically overestimated the percentage of pretty-boys-in-borrowed-leather in the IML class of 2010. But when the numbers came out, I must say I was very pleased that my fellow judges sorted out this particular man in the top slot. “They’re gonna blame this on you,” a friend said to me afterwards. Oh, I certainly hope so. But it’s not true at all.
Does this mean I am going back to judging contests? Not necessarily. For one, I can’t afford it – judges spend days working and are not paid for it. I don’t owe vast karmic debts to too many other people organizing contests, so I think I am fairly well excluded from most invites. I am comfortable with that. IML was a unique experience; it allowed me to recall my early days in the leather scene and connect with some fine men, and yes, I even got to see some old friends. But my passion remains with writing, teaching, facilitating workshops and poking at my most beloved/maligned community, the DS folks.
So, congratulations to Tyler and his brothers, and a hearty shout out to my fellow judges and our team of handlers. Chuck – you put on a great show. As a once in a lifetime experience, I am glad I got to participate, disgruntled outsider or not.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Where I've been
Some of you might have noticed I have been less chatty and less “around” since sometime in the middle of 2009. Now that I am starting my travel schedule for 2010 and almost back into a regular life again, I figured I’d better let you know what has been going on, so when you see me on the road, you recognize me.
Six months ago, I had a surgeon rearrange my guts. Extreme body modification; a procedure called the RNY, a form of bariatric surgery. The reasons I did this are varied; no, I wasn’t in terrible health, and absolutely no, I wasn’t pining away to be a size 8. (Or any particular size for that matter.) But it did occur to me, after years of hearing it from doctors and years of watching personal friends and family members struggle with weight related health issues, that if someone told me at age 55 I needed to lose 100 pounds or suffer a life threatening condition, I would regret not doing it at an earlier age, when my ability to recover would have been better.
So, I did it.
I've lost a total of 95 pounds since last July; 75 of it post surgery. I am...nearly unrecognizable, at least to myself.
I have not only fulfilled a silly goal of fitting into Levi's 501s again, I have had to downsize them - a pair I bought in December is already loose on me. I lost about 8, 9 inches around my waist; since I never measured anywhere else, I have no idea, but there are times when I look at my new neck and think it's downright scrawny. Other than my boots, I have no leather or fetish gear that fits. I found an old suede vest I bought in High School - complete with the Wilson's label - that I used to wear when I went out to the old Hellfire/Vault? It was already too small on me then; I removed the buttons to pretend it was like a bar vest.
If it had buttons now, it would close. Naturally, this is the year I am judging IML and I have NO LEATHER. I will be doing a general call for donations and loaner items sometime in April when I know what size I will be. (Right now I am 16, edging to 14.)
So, that's how my SIZE has changed. Naturally, tons of people have told me how much better I look, blah, bah, but I expected this. It's not like that many people you are friendly with will often say things like, "Jeeze, Laurie, you're a fucking whale, lose some weight," - or at least, saying such a thing would have taken them off my friends list fast anyway. But now, everyone feels free to tell me how much *better* I look. Well, I was prepared for that, and I try not to be too snarky with people who mean well.
How I feel has changed, too. I no longer get winded at a two block walk, or one flight of stairs. On the other hand, my stamina and leg strength still haven't recovered as much as I'd like. I often go to sleep at ten pm and if I need to bend my knees way down to pick something up, it is sometimes iffy whether I can get back up without something to hold onto. I no longer have daily back aches, and for some reason my doctors cannot explain, I have not had a single migraine since I left the hospital. (All we can figure was that maybe they were triggered by sugar.) This has been the coldest winter of my life and it has nothing to do with the temperature - I have lost my padding!
Things I have taken for granted for years have changed. I fit in public seating - on airplanes, not only can the arms come down and the seat belt get fastened without the extender - but I have ROOM. I shop in regular stores, in the regular departments. One size fits most? I am now "most." The magic word "medium" has taken over my very limited wardrobe. I walk faster. I had to learn not to buy clothing bigger than I was, but to buy it to fit me. Weird, weird, weird.
But it's not all tweeting birdies and hearts and flowers. My recovery was rough. No, that's an understatement, my recovery sucked rotten donkey cock. I didn't eat for - literally - weeks. I survived on water, sugarless popsicles, chicken broth. (And occasionally, avgolemeno soup, when Karen could find a diner that made it.) I threw up constantly; had no energy for months, no drive, no interest in living. There were times when I literally was losing a pound a day; where it was going was a mystery. I fell prey to something called "hibernation syndrome" in such a classic way I get embarrassed when I read the description of it online. I was re-hospitalized once, with a plummeting potassium level and all sorts of nutritional deficiencies. (And for a really amazing experience in pain, try taking a couple of bags of potassium through an IV. At one point I screamed at some poor doctor, “Isn’t this a HOSPITAL? Can I get a fucking TYLENOL?”) But eventually, they set me right, sent me home and sometime in late November, after a trip to Toronto, the corner turned and I began to finally heal,
I visited my surgeon yesterday and got the news that I am right on track. I should lose another 10-20 pounds and then see if my body is done with that. I expect to then put about half of that back, and reach what he calls a maintenance weight; a comfortable and healthy place to stop and try to eat sensibly and continue to exercise, well, for the rest of my life. I take a multi-vitamin, iron, calcium and B-12 daily. I gave up my muscle relaxers (for spasms I no longer get), my migraine and back pills. I've also given up sugar- I am a big fan of cooking with Splenda when I need to. I am no longer addicted to caffeine - giving it up for so long has left me with the ability to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning with no withdrawal symptoms if I forget to or choose not to. That's weird, too.
I can eat almost anywhere I like, as long as I am careful. The amount I eat looks ridiculous - I have learned to hide how little I eat when out with people who don't know. Mostly, people don't notice, and when they do, they often supply their own story. One guy who saw me picking the sandwich filling out of a Subway 6-inch, asked, "Oh, are you doing Atkins, or some kind of low-carb thing?" Easier to say yes! It does take a lot of thought and planning to have the right food around; but I have some of my favorite foods, like nice cheeses and roast beef and great stews. The oddest thing is craving a salad - since I now have to eat protein first, always protein - a salad of lettuce, tomatoes and assorted other good things like that is NOT on my approved list! They say maybe in a month or two, IF I am otherwise getting my meat, fish, dairy, eggs and/or beans, I can try a salad as something more than garnish.
Pasta is still a very small part of my eating plan, as is rice and bread-like foods. The thin sliced diet breads seem suddenly very tasty to me - and when I go crazy and make myself a sandwich out of one slice and the proteins of my choice I can usually manage two bites. Then I give in and eat the fillings. It's a weird way to eat, but I am used to it now. I don't miss sugared things at all, which is sad because I now have a shelf full of no sugar jello and pudding boxes.
So...do I regret it? Hell, no. True, it was a fucking AWFUL recovery, I wish that on no one. But there is no denying that I am already healthier now and stand to be healthier by a long shot come my one year anniversary. I sometimes walk up to 3 miles a day - that would have been impossible back last summer. My blood pressure, cholesterol, sugar levels - everything is absolutely normal, even on the healthier side of normal now. While they were not BAD per se when I went in to this - now I am much less worried about them getting worse as I got older.
For such a public person, some you know that I am really rather private, which is why I didn't talk about this on my blog and fetlife and facebook, etc, etc. I have zero interest in discussing it now; if I want therapy, I’ll do it privately, and if you want advice, see a doctor. I also don’t want congratulations – this is not something I did for approval. I’m just sharing because as I go back out and people see me and new publicity photos appear, I didn’t want you to think, OMG, wtf happened to Laura, is she dying?? No. In fact, I am getting back to living.
And, well, if you know anyone who has some spare leather in men's medium or women's size 16, could ya let me know? Sheesh...maybe I'll try some LATEX now that I will look less like the Michelin girl...
Six months ago, I had a surgeon rearrange my guts. Extreme body modification; a procedure called the RNY, a form of bariatric surgery. The reasons I did this are varied; no, I wasn’t in terrible health, and absolutely no, I wasn’t pining away to be a size 8. (Or any particular size for that matter.) But it did occur to me, after years of hearing it from doctors and years of watching personal friends and family members struggle with weight related health issues, that if someone told me at age 55 I needed to lose 100 pounds or suffer a life threatening condition, I would regret not doing it at an earlier age, when my ability to recover would have been better.
So, I did it.
I've lost a total of 95 pounds since last July; 75 of it post surgery. I am...nearly unrecognizable, at least to myself.
I have not only fulfilled a silly goal of fitting into Levi's 501s again, I have had to downsize them - a pair I bought in December is already loose on me. I lost about 8, 9 inches around my waist; since I never measured anywhere else, I have no idea, but there are times when I look at my new neck and think it's downright scrawny. Other than my boots, I have no leather or fetish gear that fits. I found an old suede vest I bought in High School - complete with the Wilson's label - that I used to wear when I went out to the old Hellfire/Vault? It was already too small on me then; I removed the buttons to pretend it was like a bar vest.
If it had buttons now, it would close. Naturally, this is the year I am judging IML and I have NO LEATHER. I will be doing a general call for donations and loaner items sometime in April when I know what size I will be. (Right now I am 16, edging to 14.)
So, that's how my SIZE has changed. Naturally, tons of people have told me how much better I look, blah, bah, but I expected this. It's not like that many people you are friendly with will often say things like, "Jeeze, Laurie, you're a fucking whale, lose some weight," - or at least, saying such a thing would have taken them off my friends list fast anyway. But now, everyone feels free to tell me how much *better* I look. Well, I was prepared for that, and I try not to be too snarky with people who mean well.
How I feel has changed, too. I no longer get winded at a two block walk, or one flight of stairs. On the other hand, my stamina and leg strength still haven't recovered as much as I'd like. I often go to sleep at ten pm and if I need to bend my knees way down to pick something up, it is sometimes iffy whether I can get back up without something to hold onto. I no longer have daily back aches, and for some reason my doctors cannot explain, I have not had a single migraine since I left the hospital. (All we can figure was that maybe they were triggered by sugar.) This has been the coldest winter of my life and it has nothing to do with the temperature - I have lost my padding!
Things I have taken for granted for years have changed. I fit in public seating - on airplanes, not only can the arms come down and the seat belt get fastened without the extender - but I have ROOM. I shop in regular stores, in the regular departments. One size fits most? I am now "most." The magic word "medium" has taken over my very limited wardrobe. I walk faster. I had to learn not to buy clothing bigger than I was, but to buy it to fit me. Weird, weird, weird.
But it's not all tweeting birdies and hearts and flowers. My recovery was rough. No, that's an understatement, my recovery sucked rotten donkey cock. I didn't eat for - literally - weeks. I survived on water, sugarless popsicles, chicken broth. (And occasionally, avgolemeno soup, when Karen could find a diner that made it.) I threw up constantly; had no energy for months, no drive, no interest in living. There were times when I literally was losing a pound a day; where it was going was a mystery. I fell prey to something called "hibernation syndrome" in such a classic way I get embarrassed when I read the description of it online. I was re-hospitalized once, with a plummeting potassium level and all sorts of nutritional deficiencies. (And for a really amazing experience in pain, try taking a couple of bags of potassium through an IV. At one point I screamed at some poor doctor, “Isn’t this a HOSPITAL? Can I get a fucking TYLENOL?”) But eventually, they set me right, sent me home and sometime in late November, after a trip to Toronto, the corner turned and I began to finally heal,
I visited my surgeon yesterday and got the news that I am right on track. I should lose another 10-20 pounds and then see if my body is done with that. I expect to then put about half of that back, and reach what he calls a maintenance weight; a comfortable and healthy place to stop and try to eat sensibly and continue to exercise, well, for the rest of my life. I take a multi-vitamin, iron, calcium and B-12 daily. I gave up my muscle relaxers (for spasms I no longer get), my migraine and back pills. I've also given up sugar- I am a big fan of cooking with Splenda when I need to. I am no longer addicted to caffeine - giving it up for so long has left me with the ability to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning with no withdrawal symptoms if I forget to or choose not to. That's weird, too.
I can eat almost anywhere I like, as long as I am careful. The amount I eat looks ridiculous - I have learned to hide how little I eat when out with people who don't know. Mostly, people don't notice, and when they do, they often supply their own story. One guy who saw me picking the sandwich filling out of a Subway 6-inch, asked, "Oh, are you doing Atkins, or some kind of low-carb thing?" Easier to say yes! It does take a lot of thought and planning to have the right food around; but I have some of my favorite foods, like nice cheeses and roast beef and great stews. The oddest thing is craving a salad - since I now have to eat protein first, always protein - a salad of lettuce, tomatoes and assorted other good things like that is NOT on my approved list! They say maybe in a month or two, IF I am otherwise getting my meat, fish, dairy, eggs and/or beans, I can try a salad as something more than garnish.
Pasta is still a very small part of my eating plan, as is rice and bread-like foods. The thin sliced diet breads seem suddenly very tasty to me - and when I go crazy and make myself a sandwich out of one slice and the proteins of my choice I can usually manage two bites. Then I give in and eat the fillings. It's a weird way to eat, but I am used to it now. I don't miss sugared things at all, which is sad because I now have a shelf full of no sugar jello and pudding boxes.
So...do I regret it? Hell, no. True, it was a fucking AWFUL recovery, I wish that on no one. But there is no denying that I am already healthier now and stand to be healthier by a long shot come my one year anniversary. I sometimes walk up to 3 miles a day - that would have been impossible back last summer. My blood pressure, cholesterol, sugar levels - everything is absolutely normal, even on the healthier side of normal now. While they were not BAD per se when I went in to this - now I am much less worried about them getting worse as I got older.
For such a public person, some you know that I am really rather private, which is why I didn't talk about this on my blog and fetlife and facebook, etc, etc. I have zero interest in discussing it now; if I want therapy, I’ll do it privately, and if you want advice, see a doctor. I also don’t want congratulations – this is not something I did for approval. I’m just sharing because as I go back out and people see me and new publicity photos appear, I didn’t want you to think, OMG, wtf happened to Laura, is she dying?? No. In fact, I am getting back to living.
And, well, if you know anyone who has some spare leather in men's medium or women's size 16, could ya let me know? Sheesh...maybe I'll try some LATEX now that I will look less like the Michelin girl...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Holiday shopping and a last chance...
OK, so I already pitched the Cafe Press stuff, (http://www.cafepress.com/lantoniou) that all remains the same. If you want timely delivery, order soon; I can't guarantee their shipping times.
But just a note for those of you who are big enough fans to follow this group and read what I write...
If *I* were *you* I would take advantage of the chance to buy any books I have in stock at my website. Because...well...it might be your last chance to get these editions.
Just saying.
Order now for Yule/Xmas/Solstice/New Year/etc. If the website is wonky, write to me directly at Laura@lantoniou.com and we'll work it out.
But just a note for those of you who are big enough fans to follow this group and read what I write...
If *I* were *you* I would take advantage of the chance to buy any books I have in stock at my website. Because...well...it might be your last chance to get these editions.
Just saying.
Order now for Yule/Xmas/Solstice/New Year/etc. If the website is wonky, write to me directly at Laura@lantoniou.com and we'll work it out.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
After "Passionate Bonds"
I have to say, it was an amazing weekend.
I have always wanted a chance to really sit down with people and work on what it means to have a personal protocol at home. It's something I have a passion about (see the workshop title) and it's something I think can actually be so useful for those people attempting a more encompassing D/s relationship, something they can feel as an ongoing, exciting, real, nurturing and yes, sometimes very difficult and complicated way of life.
To be able to set aside so much time in privacy, without the distractions of 100 other workshops and a contest and a formal dinner and a vending space and a fashion show, and, and...
To be able to have the ability to break into small groups, to chat casually, to sit on the floor with lunch and tell stories, and then get up and continue the discussion. Not just 90 minutes of the basics, hurriedly presented, with maybe ten minutes of questions, but lots of questions, lots of comments and stories and "what if?" scenarios. The freedom to return to something we talked about the day before. The chance to revisit the same questions and see what might have changed.
Not to mention the fun of teaching with fetish-diva, sex rockstar and close-personal-friend Midori. We found that hey, we still like each other just fine and I had a wonderful time working with her and the student/participants to make a good atmosphere to create, question and expand relationship magic.
I sincerely hope some of the people who couldn't attend this time around will be able to consider the next one we plan! We have already started reaching out to different cities, doing research on where and when it might make sense to schedule the next. Because we will do it again, having learned a bit from our virgin experience.
Laura
I have always wanted a chance to really sit down with people and work on what it means to have a personal protocol at home. It's something I have a passion about (see the workshop title) and it's something I think can actually be so useful for those people attempting a more encompassing D/s relationship, something they can feel as an ongoing, exciting, real, nurturing and yes, sometimes very difficult and complicated way of life.
To be able to set aside so much time in privacy, without the distractions of 100 other workshops and a contest and a formal dinner and a vending space and a fashion show, and, and...
To be able to have the ability to break into small groups, to chat casually, to sit on the floor with lunch and tell stories, and then get up and continue the discussion. Not just 90 minutes of the basics, hurriedly presented, with maybe ten minutes of questions, but lots of questions, lots of comments and stories and "what if?" scenarios. The freedom to return to something we talked about the day before. The chance to revisit the same questions and see what might have changed.
Not to mention the fun of teaching with fetish-diva, sex rockstar and close-personal-friend Midori. We found that hey, we still like each other just fine and I had a wonderful time working with her and the student/participants to make a good atmosphere to create, question and expand relationship magic.
I sincerely hope some of the people who couldn't attend this time around will be able to consider the next one we plan! We have already started reaching out to different cities, doing research on where and when it might make sense to schedule the next. Because we will do it again, having learned a bit from our virgin experience.
Laura
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Holiday shopping
Just a reminder to get your orders in - for books, via my website, and assorted paraphernalia via my Cafe Press store. The books I have left include some limited first printings, and once they are gone, they are gone forever. And Cafe Press is offering free shipping on certain dates when you use their codes! There are also new *black* (and other colored) shirts with the "You Must Be This Tall..." logo on them. Oh...look, I have a pitch!
Hello, fans, friends and fellow holiday shoppers! This is a gentle reminder to get your orders in early for the best presents reflecting your style and preferences!
Get an "I (heart) to serve" doggie bowl for your favorite pet!
Sip your pumpkin spiced latte in an insulated travel mug with "Patience" on one side, reminding you not to kill the kids in the back seat as you battle your way through holiday traffic!
Confuse the relatives in your "I play Mandarin style" sweatshirt! They'll still be puzzling over it while you tackle them on the lawn and win the football game.
Attend your local SM club holiday party in your "Middle Aged Guard" t-shirt and let 'em know you were around before they were a tweet in their parent's eyes. Or a twitter. Or whatever those damn kids are doing now.
Shuck down to your "I (heart) service" undies to make that special someone giggle as they prepare to service you well and truly under the holiday candles.
From stocking stuffers to grab bag gifts to nice things to reward yourself for being extra naughty, this is a great time to support your local author and pick up a few goodies for Yule, Christmas, Hanukkah, the Solstice, Kwanzaa, Thanksgiving, the New Year, or just because you can't bother going to a mall.
The Official Laura Antoniou/Marketplace Store
Just FYI...there are shipping deals at Cafe Press.
November 30th (Cyber Monday) - Free economy shipping on orders of $60 or more with coupon code: MONDAYSHIP
December 7th - 9th - Free economy shipping on orders of $50 or more with coupon code: HOLIDAYSHIPS
Hello, fans, friends and fellow holiday shoppers! This is a gentle reminder to get your orders in early for the best presents reflecting your style and preferences!
Get an "I (heart) to serve" doggie bowl for your favorite pet!
Sip your pumpkin spiced latte in an insulated travel mug with "Patience" on one side, reminding you not to kill the kids in the back seat as you battle your way through holiday traffic!
Confuse the relatives in your "I play Mandarin style" sweatshirt! They'll still be puzzling over it while you tackle them on the lawn and win the football game.
Attend your local SM club holiday party in your "Middle Aged Guard" t-shirt and let 'em know you were around before they were a tweet in their parent's eyes. Or a twitter. Or whatever those damn kids are doing now.
Shuck down to your "I (heart) service" undies to make that special someone giggle as they prepare to service you well and truly under the holiday candles.
From stocking stuffers to grab bag gifts to nice things to reward yourself for being extra naughty, this is a great time to support your local author and pick up a few goodies for Yule, Christmas, Hanukkah, the Solstice, Kwanzaa, Thanksgiving, the New Year, or just because you can't bother going to a mall.
The Official Laura Antoniou/Marketplace Store
Just FYI...there are shipping deals at Cafe Press.
November 30th (Cyber Monday) - Free economy shipping on orders of $60 or more with coupon code: MONDAYSHIP
December 7th - 9th - Free economy shipping on orders of $50 or more with coupon code: HOLIDAYSHIPS
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sex scenes and other thoughts
Health issues have been what I am sure I will think of as a minor challenge in years to come. But when you are in the middle of things, it does tend to feel overwhelming, don't it? Fortunately, things seem to be looking up.
In the mean time, instead of telling you what I have been reading, here's a glimpse of the writing side of my life.
I have started again to work on The Inheritor. It's been in fits and spurts (see the first paragraph) but it has been so much on my mind that it occasionally interrupts my sleep. I'm working on chapter 14 now. I passed two of the hardest chapters I ever worked on in my entire life, one because of research and a desire to recreate a life story in 15 pages, and one because...it was just hard. You'll see it when it's done.
Part of the shift in my brain that says "time to write!" is a desire to revisit what I have written before. Some of it I do to make sure I am not contradicting myself. (Where did Chris say he did this? What was that girl's name? What year is this supposed to be anyway?) Part of it is to see what I left out - can I add this piece into the history here, or have I written myself into a corner again? And part of it now, is to see where and how I worked in the sex scenes when I had just so much other STUFF going on.
Yes, I admit it - I write porn and have to remind myself to put in the sex.
It's not that I'm a prude, and it's sure not that I find sex beside the point. But I have found that I no longer structure a book to frame the sex. When you look at my earliest works, it's clear that the entire outline was created to showcase a series of erotic encounters, from little moments to full-blown set pieces. Some of it was obvious - The Catalyst was basically a "sex scene per story" anthology. Some was more organic - training and histories in The Marketplace and The Slave. But since then, I have become much more story driven, rather than inspired by the "if I don't have another sex scene, my publisher will complain and my readers who don't give a shit about story will get bored and they won't buy the books and I'll miss the car payment."
These days, I have to admit, I don't care about readers who don't give a shit about story. There's a ton of free or cheap porn out there which is one sex scene followed by another.
For The Academy, Reunion and now The Inheritor, even though I still call myself a pornographer, I have to admit explicit sex scenes are simply taking the same place in the story as the sex scenes in any modern novel - thrillers, adventure books, and the sort of Jeffrey Archer-esque romances where wealthy people romp. In other words, I write novels in which the major characters do have sex - *and* they are sadomasochists, therefore the sex they have tends to be kinky. But the sex occurs to aid the story, not the other way around.
In a way, this is reminding me of a shift in the whole queer novel world. In the beginning, queer lit was either dark, deep and depressing or it was porn. The deep and depressing stuff occasionally found real publishers - the porn was pulp. Gay people read both, just to see themselves in print.
So, too, did the kinksters. Whether the lead character of the tale died at the end or it was nothing but a series of one encounter after another (each one ramping up the stakes, of course) we read what we could find.
Now, look at the collection of gay books out there and there isn't a single genre not represented. Romances? Check. Paranormal? Oh, yeah. Mysteries? OMG, yes. Tons of them. Action/adventure, political thriller, fantasy and science fiction, even religious tales, the gays have something for everyone.
Now, some of them will still have sex scenes; some of them more explicit than others. But the writers do not feel like they have to include the two standard tropes of the early days - a depressing ending where people get punished for being queer, OR some mechanical sex scenes just for the sake of showing that we have sex too.
I no longer read books about gay characters for personal affirmation. (OK, maybe I never did.) I read them because I like the author, the story, the genre. I enjoy knowing that the gay characters have partners and have sex, even when I don't read explicit descriptions of it. After all, I know a bit about what sex looks (and reads) like. I enjoy a good sex scene when it's written well and especially when it has something to do with the plot. But I like the assumption, in the story, that it's simply THERE, whether I see it or not.
I don't think the SM readership is quite ready for the SM themed book with no sex scenes, at least not yet. Nor am I really interested in writing one quite yet. But it has become much more important for me for my sex scenes to not just be a part of the story, but to show something necessary to the tale. Some of them will show the growth of a relationship; some will show how someone's life has evolved and changed since the last time the reader saw that character. Things like that come out naturally; when I write them I don't feel forced or bored.
My issue today is...how long will my story-driven readers wait for the next such scene? This is a complex book with some heavy issues in it. To interrupt the flow of what is a major story in order to toss in a sex scene, even if it does suit the story overall, seems awkward at best, insulting at most. As the pages stack up, I will continue to write as the story drives me, but this is a nagging thought in the back of my mind.
In the mean time, instead of telling you what I have been reading, here's a glimpse of the writing side of my life.
I have started again to work on The Inheritor. It's been in fits and spurts (see the first paragraph) but it has been so much on my mind that it occasionally interrupts my sleep. I'm working on chapter 14 now. I passed two of the hardest chapters I ever worked on in my entire life, one because of research and a desire to recreate a life story in 15 pages, and one because...it was just hard. You'll see it when it's done.
Part of the shift in my brain that says "time to write!" is a desire to revisit what I have written before. Some of it I do to make sure I am not contradicting myself. (Where did Chris say he did this? What was that girl's name? What year is this supposed to be anyway?) Part of it is to see what I left out - can I add this piece into the history here, or have I written myself into a corner again? And part of it now, is to see where and how I worked in the sex scenes when I had just so much other STUFF going on.
Yes, I admit it - I write porn and have to remind myself to put in the sex.
It's not that I'm a prude, and it's sure not that I find sex beside the point. But I have found that I no longer structure a book to frame the sex. When you look at my earliest works, it's clear that the entire outline was created to showcase a series of erotic encounters, from little moments to full-blown set pieces. Some of it was obvious - The Catalyst was basically a "sex scene per story" anthology. Some was more organic - training and histories in The Marketplace and The Slave. But since then, I have become much more story driven, rather than inspired by the "if I don't have another sex scene, my publisher will complain and my readers who don't give a shit about story will get bored and they won't buy the books and I'll miss the car payment."
These days, I have to admit, I don't care about readers who don't give a shit about story. There's a ton of free or cheap porn out there which is one sex scene followed by another.
For The Academy, Reunion and now The Inheritor, even though I still call myself a pornographer, I have to admit explicit sex scenes are simply taking the same place in the story as the sex scenes in any modern novel - thrillers, adventure books, and the sort of Jeffrey Archer-esque romances where wealthy people romp. In other words, I write novels in which the major characters do have sex - *and* they are sadomasochists, therefore the sex they have tends to be kinky. But the sex occurs to aid the story, not the other way around.
In a way, this is reminding me of a shift in the whole queer novel world. In the beginning, queer lit was either dark, deep and depressing or it was porn. The deep and depressing stuff occasionally found real publishers - the porn was pulp. Gay people read both, just to see themselves in print.
So, too, did the kinksters. Whether the lead character of the tale died at the end or it was nothing but a series of one encounter after another (each one ramping up the stakes, of course) we read what we could find.
Now, look at the collection of gay books out there and there isn't a single genre not represented. Romances? Check. Paranormal? Oh, yeah. Mysteries? OMG, yes. Tons of them. Action/adventure, political thriller, fantasy and science fiction, even religious tales, the gays have something for everyone.
Now, some of them will still have sex scenes; some of them more explicit than others. But the writers do not feel like they have to include the two standard tropes of the early days - a depressing ending where people get punished for being queer, OR some mechanical sex scenes just for the sake of showing that we have sex too.
I no longer read books about gay characters for personal affirmation. (OK, maybe I never did.) I read them because I like the author, the story, the genre. I enjoy knowing that the gay characters have partners and have sex, even when I don't read explicit descriptions of it. After all, I know a bit about what sex looks (and reads) like. I enjoy a good sex scene when it's written well and especially when it has something to do with the plot. But I like the assumption, in the story, that it's simply THERE, whether I see it or not.
I don't think the SM readership is quite ready for the SM themed book with no sex scenes, at least not yet. Nor am I really interested in writing one quite yet. But it has become much more important for me for my sex scenes to not just be a part of the story, but to show something necessary to the tale. Some of them will show the growth of a relationship; some will show how someone's life has evolved and changed since the last time the reader saw that character. Things like that come out naturally; when I write them I don't feel forced or bored.
My issue today is...how long will my story-driven readers wait for the next such scene? This is a complex book with some heavy issues in it. To interrupt the flow of what is a major story in order to toss in a sex scene, even if it does suit the story overall, seems awkward at best, insulting at most. As the pages stack up, I will continue to write as the story drives me, but this is a nagging thought in the back of my mind.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Someone sent over a muse?
I wrote yesterday. Not the painful, one word at a time torture of - well, far too long - but simply paragraph after paragraph, until pages stacked up. The way I used to write.
Don't know what did it. Don't know why. But I am hoping to do the same today. If you have been out there thinking/praying/committing indescribable acts of sacrifice, saying "jeeze, whatever it takes, make her finish the damn next book!" thank you for the muse. I'll treat her well as long as she stays. I hope she likes Greek yogurt.
Don't know what did it. Don't know why. But I am hoping to do the same today. If you have been out there thinking/praying/committing indescribable acts of sacrifice, saying "jeeze, whatever it takes, make her finish the damn next book!" thank you for the muse. I'll treat her well as long as she stays. I hope she likes Greek yogurt.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Reading by the bucket
When I say I like long sagas, I am not kidding. (That's also why I write them.) It's always disappointing to me when a series seems to peter out under the weight of its own vast universe or the exhaustion of an author who just needs to crank out another formula book to make the payments on...well, whatever.
Rarely, a series seems to just enthrall me so much that I can't bear to read the final book. I put off reading Colleen McCullough's The October Horse
because I dreaded the murder of Caesar. Finishing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
was painful, although I respected the vision of the author very much.
But as I am in a stage of recovery, I found reading the final two books in the Thomas Covenant
series *excruciating.* Just..wow. I could not take the relentless doom, gloom, confusion, frustration, impotence...the miasma of bad questions and bad answers and "hey, didn't we do this already?" scenes of artificial peril.
Now, a logical person would ask, why did I bother? Well, I first read the series as a teenager, and lemme tell you, the self-absorbed stubborn, rapist, anti-hero *leper* was about as aimed at a teenage audience as any other way to wail about how unfair the world is and how alone you are in a sea of pain. It was, in fact, the antidote to a spate of mild Tolkien rip-offs that filled the fantasy shelves at the time, lots of magic swords and dragons and unlikely teams of wiseass adventurers who were seeking the Golden McGuffin. Not that I minded those - but you know, candy is for snacking. And if you looked at my fantasy collection *now* you'd see very little from that time.
But I held onto the Covenant books, for two reasons. One was that I always felt I was not getting a complete picture of the story, I needed to know more, reason more, to be able to appreciate the full spectrum of the tale. After all, the first one was really good; the second and third not that bad, etc. What could I be missing? And two, his amazingly turgid language.
When I read Steven Donaldson
, man, I need my dictionary handy. I like to think I have a pretty good working vocabulary and a better reading one, but whew, this guy wears me out. Reading a few days ago, I was amazed to find three words in ONE SENTENCE that I didn't know. In one sentence! Now sometimes, I look a word up and find it's a really cool word to know. Penumbra was one of those. (Lord Foul has one around his form as he becomes real.) I looked that up and thought, oh, that is a good word, I gotta use that somewhere. Things like that make me happy.
But there is a line between learning a new word, phrase or concept and feeling stupid. There's also a part of me that thinks, "couldn't you have just said the forest was dark and creepy? Just a thought."
So there I was, feeling ill and tired and slogging through this morass of cold, uncomfortable things - and I mean this, his main character is always cold, bathes in cold water, scrubs her wounded body with SAND, sleeps on slabs of rock...in 30,000 years, no one in the Land invented SOAP? Running water? The idea that maybe a bathtub closer to the fireplace might be warmer? I dunno, have they all been sitting around muttering cryptic, dire warnings to each other and forgetting to, maybe...write shit down?? Come up with a warmer outfit than a thin belted tunic? (Which everyone wears, regardless of weather.)
The Despiser doesn't have to ruin this world - it's stuck in a massive dysfunction already. (Hm. New thought. Maybe that's WHY he's so desperate to get out. The place IS a prison, of unimaginative, rigid, short-spoken people who wouldn't know a happy day if it came wrapped in rainbows and unicorns. People who never invent things, never grow, never question, and above all, never get freaking WARM. I'd be ready to destroy the Arch of Time myself after a few hundred thousand years like that.)
So...I couldn't do it. Couldn't finish the final book in the series. It has my place marked and I think I will put it on the shelf for a while, maybe hit it up one last time in the future. I still think there's something I am not getting. Or, maybe I am just not that teenager any more.
Rarely, a series seems to just enthrall me so much that I can't bear to read the final book. I put off reading Colleen McCullough's The October Horse
because I dreaded the murder of Caesar. Finishing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallowswas painful, although I respected the vision of the author very much. But as I am in a stage of recovery, I found reading the final two books in the Thomas Covenant
series *excruciating.* Just..wow. I could not take the relentless doom, gloom, confusion, frustration, impotence...the miasma of bad questions and bad answers and "hey, didn't we do this already?" scenes of artificial peril. Now, a logical person would ask, why did I bother? Well, I first read the series as a teenager, and lemme tell you, the self-absorbed stubborn, rapist, anti-hero *leper* was about as aimed at a teenage audience as any other way to wail about how unfair the world is and how alone you are in a sea of pain. It was, in fact, the antidote to a spate of mild Tolkien rip-offs that filled the fantasy shelves at the time, lots of magic swords and dragons and unlikely teams of wiseass adventurers who were seeking the Golden McGuffin. Not that I minded those - but you know, candy is for snacking. And if you looked at my fantasy collection *now* you'd see very little from that time.
But I held onto the Covenant books, for two reasons. One was that I always felt I was not getting a complete picture of the story, I needed to know more, reason more, to be able to appreciate the full spectrum of the tale. After all, the first one was really good; the second and third not that bad, etc. What could I be missing? And two, his amazingly turgid language.
When I read Steven Donaldson
, man, I need my dictionary handy. I like to think I have a pretty good working vocabulary and a better reading one, but whew, this guy wears me out. Reading a few days ago, I was amazed to find three words in ONE SENTENCE that I didn't know. In one sentence! Now sometimes, I look a word up and find it's a really cool word to know. Penumbra was one of those. (Lord Foul has one around his form as he becomes real.) I looked that up and thought, oh, that is a good word, I gotta use that somewhere. Things like that make me happy. But there is a line between learning a new word, phrase or concept and feeling stupid. There's also a part of me that thinks, "couldn't you have just said the forest was dark and creepy? Just a thought."
So there I was, feeling ill and tired and slogging through this morass of cold, uncomfortable things - and I mean this, his main character is always cold, bathes in cold water, scrubs her wounded body with SAND, sleeps on slabs of rock...in 30,000 years, no one in the Land invented SOAP? Running water? The idea that maybe a bathtub closer to the fireplace might be warmer? I dunno, have they all been sitting around muttering cryptic, dire warnings to each other and forgetting to, maybe...write shit down?? Come up with a warmer outfit than a thin belted tunic? (Which everyone wears, regardless of weather.)
The Despiser doesn't have to ruin this world - it's stuck in a massive dysfunction already. (Hm. New thought. Maybe that's WHY he's so desperate to get out. The place IS a prison, of unimaginative, rigid, short-spoken people who wouldn't know a happy day if it came wrapped in rainbows and unicorns. People who never invent things, never grow, never question, and above all, never get freaking WARM. I'd be ready to destroy the Arch of Time myself after a few hundred thousand years like that.)
So...I couldn't do it. Couldn't finish the final book in the series. It has my place marked and I think I will put it on the shelf for a while, maybe hit it up one last time in the future. I still think there's something I am not getting. Or, maybe I am just not that teenager any more.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Blatant Commercial Message
In today's Blatant Commercial Message, I would like to announce...
(drumroll)
The Official, Real, True, Total, Absolute, Fashion Statement of the YEAR...
The "You must be this tall to ride this ride" T-shirt!
And mug, sticker, post card, and assorted other sundries.
(Don't know what it means? Read my latest keynote speech.)
Available NOW at The ONLY Middle Aged Guard store in the WORLD!
*GASP! as you spot the very reasonable prices.
*CAVORT! when you pull on your rare mark of distinction.
*FLIRT! with the eager hordes who approach you with that basic come-fuck-me-now line, "Hey, where'd you get that cool t-shirt?"
And if you act NOW, you can see the ARRAY of STUNNING, AMUSING and did I mention RARE? shirts, sweatshirts, hoodies, mugs, greeting cards, posters and even teddy bears and pet bowls, available for YOU, the discerning consumer and knowledgeable insider.
JUST in time for HOLIDAY SHOPPING!
Gaze in AWE at new items with older designs - PLUS sizes! ORGANIC materials! MATERNITY sizes! Stylish drinking accessories!
Let people know who you are with your MIDDLE AGED GUARD hoodie; let them know who you crave as you announce you are LOOKING FOR CHRIS PARKER. Declare your love of service, or your exalted role as a true, lifestyle, etc. type. And most of all, SUPPORT your author, who needs some income occasionally.
This has been a commercial message from the Official Laura Antoniou Marketplace Cafe Press Store. Act now! The web is standing by.
(drumroll)
The Official, Real, True, Total, Absolute, Fashion Statement of the YEAR...
The "You must be this tall to ride this ride" T-shirt!
And mug, sticker, post card, and assorted other sundries.
(Don't know what it means? Read my latest keynote speech.)
Available NOW at The ONLY Middle Aged Guard store in the WORLD!
*GASP! as you spot the very reasonable prices.
*CAVORT! when you pull on your rare mark of distinction.
*FLIRT! with the eager hordes who approach you with that basic come-fuck-me-now line, "Hey, where'd you get that cool t-shirt?"
And if you act NOW, you can see the ARRAY of STUNNING, AMUSING and did I mention RARE? shirts, sweatshirts, hoodies, mugs, greeting cards, posters and even teddy bears and pet bowls, available for YOU, the discerning consumer and knowledgeable insider.
JUST in time for HOLIDAY SHOPPING!
Gaze in AWE at new items with older designs - PLUS sizes! ORGANIC materials! MATERNITY sizes! Stylish drinking accessories!
Let people know who you are with your MIDDLE AGED GUARD hoodie; let them know who you crave as you announce you are LOOKING FOR CHRIS PARKER. Declare your love of service, or your exalted role as a true, lifestyle, etc. type. And most of all, SUPPORT your author, who needs some income occasionally.
This has been a commercial message from the Official Laura Antoniou Marketplace Cafe Press Store. Act now! The web is standing by.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I know it's been a while
I've been out of commission a bit. But I am on the road to recovery, helped along by copious amounts of chicken soup and the wonders of modern pharmaceuticals.
Here's some quick catch up -
I keynoted and taught at Master Taino's Master/slave conference in DC. The speech is now available on their website! Just scroll to the bottom of my bio.
If you had intended to register for the weekend intensive class that Midori and I are teaching/leading, the time is now. The cut off for registration can be met in two ways very quickly - when we reach capacity, or when we decide there is not enough interest to sustain the class financially.
This really is a unique opportunity. Having just been at the Master/slave event in DC, I can't tell you how many people were frustrated by 90 minute classes in complex topics, 5-minute Q&A sessions, competing schedules, time spent in fun but ultimately non-relationship related activities like shows and auctions and festive meals. 12-16 hour days.
Here there will be no stages no shows, no auctions, no contests. After some general concepts are shared, the rest of the time will be about YOU; what do you want, what are your dreams, what are your limits and strengths? The things Midori and I water down (and occasionally dumb down) the things we gloss over or simplify can instead be sharpened, deepened, made applicable to you and your relationships. You will have the time and space to really talk about your triumphs and challenges with other people who want what you want - the best, most conscious, personal D/s relationship you can have, complete with goals and protocols that come from your desires.
So to remind you:
"Passionate Bonds: Weekend Intensive for Conscious D/s & Protocol"
2 Locations / Dates
November 6 – 8, Washington DC
November 27 – 29, Toronto, Canada
Registration is now open
I am still on Facebook, and have my own little corner on Fetlife. Friend me at either place according to your tastes and free time. Join my mafia.
I am still writing. I hope to pick up the pace soon, ideas are sort of crashing into each other in my brain.
I am aware that The Marketplace, The Academy and The Reunion are all currently very hard to find. I personally have many of the other books though, and you can get them from me via my website and I'll sign 'em. If anyone knows of a store that has stock in the harder to find volumes, please let me know so I can tell people who are looking for them. And yes, of course we are working on a way to get them back into print and distribution.
I am still reading, although I have been re-reading quite a bit, recently the entire Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. Including her concordance. Highly recommended, which might seem odd, as they look like a romance series, right? But add in time travel, feisty characters, travel, adventure, surgery, kidnapping, torture, and men in kilts...I like 'em a lot.
And since it was summer, I rounded things out with some Star Trek novels of light distinction and an old (1997) collection of violent porn called A Metropolitan slave Anthology
, by jeb. Complete with illustrations by Beau. This is raw stuff; jeb has some strong fetishes and a weak writing styles, but I have to admit, sometimes that sort of "Plot? what plot? torture him some more!" format has its charm. But it reminded me of what fun their magazine was - back when there were porn and SM magazines that didn't look like catalogs for muscle milk products and/or very expensive clothing.
(No kidding, I actually thought a copy of Instigator was a recent protein supplement catalog I'd misplaced. Then I flipped it over.)
So anyway, I'm back and hope to be continuing to regain energy and focus.
Here's some quick catch up -
I keynoted and taught at Master Taino's Master/slave conference in DC. The speech is now available on their website! Just scroll to the bottom of my bio.
If you had intended to register for the weekend intensive class that Midori and I are teaching/leading, the time is now. The cut off for registration can be met in two ways very quickly - when we reach capacity, or when we decide there is not enough interest to sustain the class financially.
This really is a unique opportunity. Having just been at the Master/slave event in DC, I can't tell you how many people were frustrated by 90 minute classes in complex topics, 5-minute Q&A sessions, competing schedules, time spent in fun but ultimately non-relationship related activities like shows and auctions and festive meals. 12-16 hour days.
Here there will be no stages no shows, no auctions, no contests. After some general concepts are shared, the rest of the time will be about YOU; what do you want, what are your dreams, what are your limits and strengths? The things Midori and I water down (and occasionally dumb down) the things we gloss over or simplify can instead be sharpened, deepened, made applicable to you and your relationships. You will have the time and space to really talk about your triumphs and challenges with other people who want what you want - the best, most conscious, personal D/s relationship you can have, complete with goals and protocols that come from your desires.
So to remind you:
"Passionate Bonds: Weekend Intensive for Conscious D/s & Protocol"
2 Locations / Dates
November 6 – 8, Washington DC
November 27 – 29, Toronto, Canada
Registration is now open
I am still on Facebook, and have my own little corner on Fetlife. Friend me at either place according to your tastes and free time. Join my mafia.
I am still writing. I hope to pick up the pace soon, ideas are sort of crashing into each other in my brain.
I am aware that The Marketplace, The Academy and The Reunion are all currently very hard to find. I personally have many of the other books though, and you can get them from me via my website and I'll sign 'em. If anyone knows of a store that has stock in the harder to find volumes, please let me know so I can tell people who are looking for them. And yes, of course we are working on a way to get them back into print and distribution.
I am still reading, although I have been re-reading quite a bit, recently the entire Outlander series
by Diana Gabaldon. Including her concordance. Highly recommended, which might seem odd, as they look like a romance series, right? But add in time travel, feisty characters, travel, adventure, surgery, kidnapping, torture, and men in kilts...I like 'em a lot. And since it was summer, I rounded things out with some Star Trek novels of light distinction and an old (1997) collection of violent porn called A Metropolitan slave Anthology
, by jeb. Complete with illustrations by Beau. This is raw stuff; jeb has some strong fetishes and a weak writing styles, but I have to admit, sometimes that sort of "Plot? what plot? torture him some more!" format has its charm. But it reminded me of what fun their magazine was - back when there were porn and SM magazines that didn't look like catalogs for muscle milk products and/or very expensive clothing.(No kidding, I actually thought a copy of Instigator was a recent protein supplement catalog I'd misplaced. Then I flipped it over.)
So anyway, I'm back and hope to be continuing to regain energy and focus.
Friday, August 21, 2009
A song for these troubled times
For those of you without Facebook...yesterday I left a message reading "Laura Antoniou
would like a moratorium on the words Fascist, Nazi, Communist, Socialist and Marxist unless the person using the term can define what it means. Who's with me??"
In the comments, Tim Brough said, "Why not just make it all one word? SociafashaNazalisticmarxpialidocious!"
And then, Graydancer DID.
Put coffee down before listening, please!
would like a moratorium on the words Fascist, Nazi, Communist, Socialist and Marxist unless the person using the term can define what it means. Who's with me??"
In the comments, Tim Brough said, "Why not just make it all one word? SociafashaNazalisticmarxpialidocious!"
And then, Graydancer DID.
Put coffee down before listening, please!
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Reading, writing, etc.
It's no secret I've been crippled by an awful writers block for far too long. Part of it has been, no doubt, depression. Part has also been knowing I had to write something I knew was going to be painful. Amazing, sometimes, how involved I can get in my own story, to the point where I emotionally react to something *I planned and plotted* when it actually starts appearing in typed words. I suppose it's just ego, like laughing at my own jokes.
Well, that chapter is saved and I am on to the next. Now I get to see if I was really stalled because I didn't want to write those pages, or because I suck.
****
Meanwhile, my "to be read" shelf has seen some pretty major ups and downs. My recent birthday increased the size of that shelf quite nicely - thanks, Daddy! Plus, I have kept with my habit of re-reading alongside new books. Believe me, when I am without a book nearby, I am very unhappy.
I picked up Arslan
from Paperbackswap because I read in a review that the military take over of the US is hammered home, so to speak, by the invader/dictator raping two teenagers in their school gym, a girl and a boy. This appealed to me in that "sick fuck" way, sort of a more explicit Red Dawn
sort of thing. (We all have our guilty pleasures.) It was also highly reviewed. However, I found it...lackluster and dull. It actually went into the short sample of "books I never bothered to finish." I leafed through it a bit, but it completely lost my interest. One of the things that bothered me the most was how we are given almost no information how a third-world nation could so easily and quickly take over, well, the world, and why on earth their leader would park his ass in a small Midwestern town in order to annoy the locals. If it's because this is a parable about how human beings can suffer...nah, I can't even give it that. Dystopian stories can be so freaking EASY - come on, what's more fun than destroying a civilization? This one was a big yawner. Back to PBS it goes.
Now, on the other hand, Ellen Kushner's The Privilege of the Sword
was great fun. You might know her from NPR, by the way, she is the one whose soothing voice accompanies the show Sound and Spirit. (I only hear her by accident when I leave the alarm clock set over the weekend and wake up early on Sunday morning.) I didn't know she also wrote swashbucklers on the side - and this is just a grand little example of such a light, romantic tale. Nice culture, amusing characters and a great central heroine I grew to really enjoy. I'll be putting more of her work onto my wish list.
Another fairly new author for me is Mary Gentle, and the book I got, just for the back cover text, is Grunts
. Hysterical, especially for those who have read their share of high fantasy. Everyone knows the story as told by the warriors for good, light, etc. But what of their massed foes, the classically huge army of brutal, tusked, ugly cannon fodder known as orcs? This was a laugh out loud and bother-my-loved-ones by reading out loud sort of book. No one comes off looking good in this tale, from the vicious orcs themselves to the cannibal-assassin halflings who get thrown in to handle the more subtle wetwork. And did I mention the dominatrix halfling? Orcball? Kinky, masochist, elven reporters from Warrior of Fortune magazine? (Read for the ads, of course.) This was great summer reading, and another author I will look for again, even though I wasn't that impressed by the last book I read by her, A Secret History: The Book Of Ash. #1
And in the realm of re-reading, I picked up the early Harry Potter books, mostly because I channel surfed past a few of the movies lately. I never realized that three props necessary for the penultimate book, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, appear first in book 2, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. When the Malfoys, père et fils, go to Borgin and Burke's shop of evilness, Malfoy the younger admires the hand of glory, Harry hides in the vanishing cabinet, and Hermione points at the cursed necklace.
I'd love to see her codex.
Well, that chapter is saved and I am on to the next. Now I get to see if I was really stalled because I didn't want to write those pages, or because I suck.
****
Meanwhile, my "to be read" shelf has seen some pretty major ups and downs. My recent birthday increased the size of that shelf quite nicely - thanks, Daddy! Plus, I have kept with my habit of re-reading alongside new books. Believe me, when I am without a book nearby, I am very unhappy.
I picked up Arslan
from Paperbackswap because I read in a review that the military take over of the US is hammered home, so to speak, by the invader/dictator raping two teenagers in their school gym, a girl and a boy. This appealed to me in that "sick fuck" way, sort of a more explicit Red Dawnsort of thing. (We all have our guilty pleasures.) It was also highly reviewed. However, I found it...lackluster and dull. It actually went into the short sample of "books I never bothered to finish." I leafed through it a bit, but it completely lost my interest. One of the things that bothered me the most was how we are given almost no information how a third-world nation could so easily and quickly take over, well, the world, and why on earth their leader would park his ass in a small Midwestern town in order to annoy the locals. If it's because this is a parable about how human beings can suffer...nah, I can't even give it that. Dystopian stories can be so freaking EASY - come on, what's more fun than destroying a civilization? This one was a big yawner. Back to PBS it goes.Now, on the other hand, Ellen Kushner's The Privilege of the Sword
was great fun. You might know her from NPR, by the way, she is the one whose soothing voice accompanies the show Sound and Spirit. (I only hear her by accident when I leave the alarm clock set over the weekend and wake up early on Sunday morning.) I didn't know she also wrote swashbucklers on the side - and this is just a grand little example of such a light, romantic tale. Nice culture, amusing characters and a great central heroine I grew to really enjoy. I'll be putting more of her work onto my wish list.Another fairly new author for me is Mary Gentle, and the book I got, just for the back cover text, is Grunts
. Hysterical, especially for those who have read their share of high fantasy. Everyone knows the story as told by the warriors for good, light, etc. But what of their massed foes, the classically huge army of brutal, tusked, ugly cannon fodder known as orcs? This was a laugh out loud and bother-my-loved-ones by reading out loud sort of book. No one comes off looking good in this tale, from the vicious orcs themselves to the cannibal-assassin halflings who get thrown in to handle the more subtle wetwork. And did I mention the dominatrix halfling? Orcball? Kinky, masochist, elven reporters from Warrior of Fortune magazine? (Read for the ads, of course.) This was great summer reading, and another author I will look for again, even though I wasn't that impressed by the last book I read by her, A Secret History: The Book Of Ash. #1And in the realm of re-reading, I picked up the early Harry Potter books, mostly because I channel surfed past a few of the movies lately. I never realized that three props necessary for the penultimate book, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, appear first in book 2, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. When the Malfoys, père et fils, go to Borgin and Burke's shop of evilness, Malfoy the younger admires the hand of glory, Harry hides in the vanishing cabinet, and Hermione points at the cursed necklace.
I'd love to see her codex.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Speaking of death...
Two books that came off my "to read" shelf and were quickly enjoyed, both keepers. First was Mistress of the Art of Death
, which I put off reading a while ago because it didn't suit my mood at the time. This time, I flew through it, basically finishing it in two days.
Historical mysteries are a favorite genre of mine - this one also had historical *medicine* which is another favorite. Now make the lead character a woman doctor-sleuth and give her a couple of decent companions and a rich background - it's a grand combination. Some fairly typical additions - the love-interest-who-starts-off-as-a-suspect, the nasty-obvious-suspect-who-didn't-do-it-but-we-hate-anyway, and it still entertained. I put the rest of the series on my wish list to investigate later.
And to match the Mistress of Death, who else, but the first Death Knight himself, Arthas? Warcraft novelizations have suffered from every sin of media novelization and then added some. First sin? Assume anyone reading the books is nine. Several of the books are SO simplistic, and so packed with stereotypes, cliches and very lame attempts at dialogue it made me want to go find the author and personally beat them about the head with a copy of The Hobbit. Bound in steel.
Second sin? Pay no attention to the source material OR be so slavishly devoted to it that anyone who has actually played the game would say..."But I know all of this!"
For example, Richard Knaak is one of the more prolific WOW hacks, and we are all the worse off for it. The man needs a thesaurus, fast. Every dragon is "a behemoth." Repeatedly. Knaak manages to disregard almost every aspect of magic in the actual games. His mages either perform tiny cantrips which manage to annoy the enemy, or they hurl huge fireballs. The spell mechanics of the game, which are ripe for plundering, are completely ignored. Knaak has no problem writing a gory scene of arms being ripped off or chests being torn open, but can't write a love scene without adolescent sniggering going on in the background.
I mean it, he really pissed me off in his depiction of the love triangle between three of the games uber-characters. We're talking the master of all the druids, the high priestess of the goddess of the night elves and a chief villian for over ten thousand years, and it reads like a junior high school drama. Complete with elbow nudging from supporting characters. I kept waiting for one of them to ask someone to pass a note. (Malfurian to Tyrande: Do u like me? Y or N?)
Naturally, to Knaak fell the task of writing one of the biggest epics of the Warcraft storyline. It's enough to make me ponder the wisdom in writing adult fiction. Maybe I should have gone into gaming novels.
Anyhoo, Arthas: Rise of the Lich King
is written by Christie Golden, who has written Ravenloft and Star Wars novels. She wrote two previous Warcraft titles, Lord of the Clans
and Rise of the Horde
. Lord of the Clans was problematic because of a weakness in the source material, but I found the writing pretty good. Rise of the Horde was better. Arthas would be her first foray into writing about the Alliance, and I was more than curious to see whether the sympathy she obviously had for the Horde would flavor her Alliance characterizations.
I think this is the best Warcraft book yet. Naturally, that doesn't say much - it's still a genre inside a genre. Its limitations are pretty clear, and for this one, it is absolute devotion of the source material. Almost every cut scene from the games is here in text, for example. But for some reason, this didn't annoy me - possibly because these scenes have become part and parcel of the story of Arthas. We need to see him waving his men away from trying to save the young Jaina Proudmore as she blasts her way through the Plaguelands. The friendly confidence he had in her and her magical powers were not only scene setters - they indicated the level of trust and affection between the characters.
But about half way through the book, I began to look forward to spotting in-game references. Even certain lines one hears from famous characters come to life here; for once, Sylvanas makes sense when she asks, "What are we, but slaves to this torment?"
Golden walked the line between devotion and creativity quite successfully for my taste. Her characters sound more realistic than they ever have in previous novelizations, and the slow deterioration of Arthas' morality is a satisfying glimpse into a descent into panic, fear, and ultimately, madness. She even managed to add new elements into his story which, importantly, not only do not contradict established lore but actually make it deeper and richer. That is what a good novelization does; that is what an author brings to the table.
My only regret was that the complete story could not be told in one volume. The book itself was also handsomely name, cloth bound with a striking dustcover. Well worth it for Warcraft fans - unlikely to win many fans who come to it cold, though.
But I'll tell you this - it made me want to make a new death knight, just to interact with Arthas in game again.
, which I put off reading a while ago because it didn't suit my mood at the time. This time, I flew through it, basically finishing it in two days.Historical mysteries are a favorite genre of mine - this one also had historical *medicine* which is another favorite. Now make the lead character a woman doctor-sleuth and give her a couple of decent companions and a rich background - it's a grand combination. Some fairly typical additions - the love-interest-who-starts-off-as-a-suspect, the nasty-obvious-suspect-who-didn't-do-it-but-we-hate-anyway, and it still entertained. I put the rest of the series on my wish list to investigate later.
And to match the Mistress of Death, who else, but the first Death Knight himself, Arthas? Warcraft novelizations have suffered from every sin of media novelization and then added some. First sin? Assume anyone reading the books is nine. Several of the books are SO simplistic, and so packed with stereotypes, cliches and very lame attempts at dialogue it made me want to go find the author and personally beat them about the head with a copy of The Hobbit. Bound in steel.
Second sin? Pay no attention to the source material OR be so slavishly devoted to it that anyone who has actually played the game would say..."But I know all of this!"
For example, Richard Knaak is one of the more prolific WOW hacks, and we are all the worse off for it. The man needs a thesaurus, fast. Every dragon is "a behemoth." Repeatedly. Knaak manages to disregard almost every aspect of magic in the actual games. His mages either perform tiny cantrips which manage to annoy the enemy, or they hurl huge fireballs. The spell mechanics of the game, which are ripe for plundering, are completely ignored. Knaak has no problem writing a gory scene of arms being ripped off or chests being torn open, but can't write a love scene without adolescent sniggering going on in the background.
I mean it, he really pissed me off in his depiction of the love triangle between three of the games uber-characters. We're talking the master of all the druids, the high priestess of the goddess of the night elves and a chief villian for over ten thousand years, and it reads like a junior high school drama. Complete with elbow nudging from supporting characters. I kept waiting for one of them to ask someone to pass a note. (Malfurian to Tyrande: Do u like me? Y or N?)
Naturally, to Knaak fell the task of writing one of the biggest epics of the Warcraft storyline. It's enough to make me ponder the wisdom in writing adult fiction. Maybe I should have gone into gaming novels.
Anyhoo, Arthas: Rise of the Lich King
is written by Christie Golden, who has written Ravenloft and Star Wars novels. She wrote two previous Warcraft titles, Lord of the Clansand Rise of the Horde. Lord of the Clans was problematic because of a weakness in the source material, but I found the writing pretty good. Rise of the Horde was better. Arthas would be her first foray into writing about the Alliance, and I was more than curious to see whether the sympathy she obviously had for the Horde would flavor her Alliance characterizations.I think this is the best Warcraft book yet. Naturally, that doesn't say much - it's still a genre inside a genre. Its limitations are pretty clear, and for this one, it is absolute devotion of the source material. Almost every cut scene from the games is here in text, for example. But for some reason, this didn't annoy me - possibly because these scenes have become part and parcel of the story of Arthas. We need to see him waving his men away from trying to save the young Jaina Proudmore as she blasts her way through the Plaguelands. The friendly confidence he had in her and her magical powers were not only scene setters - they indicated the level of trust and affection between the characters.
But about half way through the book, I began to look forward to spotting in-game references. Even certain lines one hears from famous characters come to life here; for once, Sylvanas makes sense when she asks, "What are we, but slaves to this torment?"
Golden walked the line between devotion and creativity quite successfully for my taste. Her characters sound more realistic than they ever have in previous novelizations, and the slow deterioration of Arthas' morality is a satisfying glimpse into a descent into panic, fear, and ultimately, madness. She even managed to add new elements into his story which, importantly, not only do not contradict established lore but actually make it deeper and richer. That is what a good novelization does; that is what an author brings to the table.
My only regret was that the complete story could not be told in one volume. The book itself was also handsomely name, cloth bound with a striking dustcover. Well worth it for Warcraft fans - unlikely to win many fans who come to it cold, though.
But I'll tell you this - it made me want to make a new death knight, just to interact with Arthas in game again.
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